


Clarity Clouds My Mind

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-09
Updated: 2011-02-09
Packaged: 2017-10-28 04:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 57,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a vampire close to descending into madness because he hasn't found his soul mate. When he meets Sam one night, his clan hatch a plan to bring the two of them together. The problem is that it backfires.(Non-brothers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

In 1782 Dean Winchester was born on a ship traveling from England to America. He was the first and only child of his family, his mother never recovering from childbirth and passing before she could see her new home. Dean’s father never remarried. Instead he was raised primarily by a governess who kept the house while his father built a small fortune in the sale and purchase of land.

Dean never built a strong relationship with his father, he learned to read and write in school and at the age of sixteen his father turned an eye from his work so he could teach his son the family business. It was the life Dean was meant to have, just as he was meant to marry a woman of at least middle class and raise a family of his own.

It was not, however, the life Dean wished for himself.

Perhaps if his father had taken time to look up from his papers at meals, learn about his son, he would have seen the impending end. At seventeen Dean ran away from home, taking with him just enough money to start fresh in the city. He had thought it would give him the life he had always wanted, but Dean had never really known what that would be.

Dean worked for some time in a factory, rapidly escalating from main line to a supervisor position. It wasn’t easy, the hours were long, but his home was empty and Dean had no where else to be. He took the company of men, because women had never caught his eye, in secret clubs that were down dark alleys, never spoken of aloud.

Though his life might have been lonely at times, Dean would rather have lived there then with a father who never cared, married to a woman he knew he could never truly love. Dean never anticipated finding a man he would wish to see longer than a night, until _he_ came into the picture.

Everything happened so quickly. Dean still had trouble recalling the details, even years later. It was a fortnight of some of the most intense sensations and feelings that Dean had ever experienced. Dean had never really known love until he was in the arms of the man, caught up in the feeling like he never had been before.

Then the man left, disappeared just as quickly as he had arrived. The Dean he left behind, however, was nothing like he had been before.

It took only a day for Dean to learn that sunlight burned his skin. He crouched in a corner of his home, hiding from sunshine and shaking with a plague-like illness. For days his body had ached and Dean wasn’t sure he would ever pull through. How he did, he was never sure.

It took a month for Dean to fully realize food would no longer satiate him. By then he was little more than weak, pale and shaking. Dean had stumbled out into the night. He hadn’t realized what it was he craved until a man had stopped to see if he was alright. Dean had lunged forward, drawn by the strong scent of him, the thrumming of his heart, and he hadn’t fully realized his actions until the taste of blood pumped down his throat and Dean suddenly felt alive once more.

When the man dropped to his feet, lifeless, Dean stumbled back into the far wall and everything had changed. He didn’t know who he was, what he had become, and it would be years until he found out.

And nearly two hundred years until he felt anything like love for another man again.

-=-=-=-

“Bobby, when was the last time you cleaned this place?” Dean laughed as he stepped over a stack of books just inside the doorway. It was the only notice he gave the man that his home was suddenly going to be full of vampires, but Dean knew it wasn’t an issue. And, it wouldn’t technically be _full_ of vampires, Dean had left half his clan on a mission he knew they could handle anyway.

Bobby came around the corner and Dean was hit, for just a moment, with how _old_ the man looked. His hair was nearly completely grey, his skin more wrinkled than when Dean saw him last. It couldn’t have been that long since his last visit, though he would admit to occasionally losing track of time.

“Dean.” The man’s features lit up as he stepped forward into the embrace Dean easily gave. “Been wonderin’ when you’d turn up again. I guess you got my message then?” Bobby stepped back from Dean and turned slightly, nodding at the vampire who was a step behind Dean. “John, good to see you.”

“Hey, Bobby. How’s things?” John stepped up just behind Dean and smiled warmly.

“Life o’ the livin’,” Bobby drawled and shrugged, laughing as he stepped back to give them more room. “Not that you’d know. You lot are pushing it, sun’s only been down a couple of hours.”

“Now Bobby, I know I taught you how to drive in the sunlight without seeing out the window.” Dean laughed, a running joke between them. Most things were, it was their way of testing each other. Dean would test that Bobby’s memory was still in tact, Bobby would test that Dean was still the vampire he had become to be.

They were things developed and relied upon over a nearly life long friendship.

Dean glanced back over John’s shoulder as Mary and Jo squeezed their way into the front hall. “John, get your ass in here. Bobby’s place isn’t worth a line.”

“Gee, thanks Dean.” Bobby’s eyes rolled as the vampire clapped him on the shoulder and laughed, heading down the hall. Bobby glanced toward the door opening again, eyeing the vampire who followed Jo in then looking at John. “Jo find a mate?”

John’s eyes wrinkled as his smile widened. “She did, they’re a good match. He fits in well and she’s so much happier. You know - _happier_.” Raising at eyebrow he tilted his head slightly toward Dean.

“John, you better not be implying anything,” Dean called over his shoulder, lifting a book from Bobby’s desk. “And Jo, why don’t you two take the guest room upstairs. Bobby, we good to stay for a few days?”

“Yup, still got the wooden shutters, all the rooms are ready. Jo, you’re free to go on up.” Bobby smiled at her, nodding at the quiet man behind her. As Mary stepped closed he smiled, reaching out for her hand. “Mary, as stunning as always.” He stepped forward to kiss her cheek.

Mary’s slender fingers curled over Bobby’s shoulders for a few moments as she kissed him back then ran a hand over his cheek. “Oh, Bobby, if I were a hundred years younger.”

John’s laughter was low and gentle. “Hey, Bobby - should I be worried?”

“As if I’d be foolish enough to go up against you John.” Bobby’s laugh was carefree and Dean sighed, glancing back at them.

“Bobby? You call us here for a reason?” Something tense rippled through Dean and he tilted his head to the side, rolling it slowly to ease out his tight muscles. He needed a good feed, or a good fuck, or a good hunt. Something.

Bobby blinked back at Dean then at John. “Jesus Dean, can’t even let us share some pleasantries for a while? It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen you last.”

“Two years?” Dean grunted and looked down at the books once more then shrugging out of his coat. “John, thought you were supposed to be keeping track of things like that.”

John’s smiled faltered and Mary’s hand slipped into his as he spoke. “Dean? I did try to tell you ‘bout a year back that we needed to come and see Bobby. You didn’t want to-”

“You asked in the middle of a hunt and people were being killed,” Dean snapped, shooting his gaze to John and scowling. “Bobby, get the pleasantries out of the way. I gotta get the phone from the van and call Ash to check in.” The irritation was growing in Dean, getting worse like it had been for months now, maybe longer. He shoved the screen door open and let it fall with a clatter behind him.

Bobby’s eyes were wide when he looked from the door to John. “Fuck. He really is as bad as you said on the phone. Is it getting worse?”

John’s scratched at his dark beard and glanced over at Mary warily. “Yeah Bobby. It certainly ain’t been a walk in the park.”

“We’ve been doing what we can,” Mary said softly. She leaned against John and gazed up at him. “John tries really hard to keep the peace.”

“He even mention the idea of looking for someone? Only a year before he reaches two hundred.” Bobby’s frown deepened and he stepped back, gesturing to the kitchen. “Come on, you know him, might very well stop out front to listen to us before coming in.”

John twined his fingers through Mary’s as they headed into the kitchen behind Bobby. John kept his voice low. “We’ve tried suggesting it, I don’t know. He won’t talk to me anymore, Bobby. I’ve been trying to get him here for a long time so _you_ could talk to him.”

Mary pressed her small hand against John’s chest. “And you know how much we respect Dean. It’s just - it’s hard with the young ones.” Frowning, she rested her head on John’s shoulder.

“Oh, hadn’t even thought...” Bobby trailed off and sighed, turning to pour himself a cup of coffee. “That why there’s only the four of you here? Honestly, I’m a little surprised to see Jo. Last I heard Dean was still waiting for her to prove herself.” He leaned back against the counter and sipped from his coffee, gesturing toward the fridge a moment later. “Got some blood on hand, fresh from the hospital if either of you are hungry.”

John pressed his lips together and curled his arm protectively around Mary. “We’d better not until Dead decides what we’re doing. Bobby? I’m really not exaggerating, I’m not sure how much everyone can take.”

Sighing once more, Bobby set his mug on the counter and rubbed at his temple. “Well, I’ll try talkin’ to him. But if you couldn’t get through to him, not sure I will.”

“Bobby, you could sell honey to bees,” Mary teased.

Laughing, Bobby shook his head. “Mary, darlin’, you’d think I’d have enough years to be used to your charm.” Looking through the kitchen out into the hall, Bobby grasped his mug again and nodded. “Alright. You two go get settled upstairs, I’ll try and have a talk with him.”

When Dean tugged the screen door open his eyes lifted to the stairs. He could hear the sound of John and Mary’s soft conversation, then Bobby’s mug clinking on the counter top in the kitchen. He knew what this was, his own personal vampire intervention. It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected this to happen the moment they got here.

His clan was worried, his little band of misfit vampires, all working for the good side when their nature alone should have suggested they kill innocents. And Bobby, of course Bobby was worried. Dean thought the man was the closest thing to family he’d ever really had.

So he couldn’t really put off the conversation, because he knew Bobby would upset if he did, and Dean didn’t really like upsetting the man. Walking slowly along the front hall, Dean stopped just inside the brightly lit kitchen, leaning against the door frame. “So they pawned the task off on you huh?”

If Bobby was surprised by his sudden appearance he didn’t show it. Too many years had passed for him not to have adjusted to the quiet nature of vampires. “You know it’s not that way. You wanna have a seat?”

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Quit talking to me like _you’re_ my dad. What do you want to say Bobby? Gonna lecture me about what I’ll become?”

“No, clearly you already know.” Bobby gave Dean a rather unimpressed look, his brows lifting challengingly. “Not gonna stand for you being a complete ass in my house though. So you’re gonna listen to what I do have to say and not give me any shit about it.”

It took actual effort for Dean to not roll his eyes once more. Most of the time he couldn’t control it, the harsh burn of anger, irritation. The desire to snatch a helpless human and drain them completely. Dean shuddered at the flickering thought and crossed the kitchen, dropping down onto a nearby chair. Maybe listening to Bobby wouldn’t hurt.

Bobby took the seat across from him and they sat in a familiar silence for a few minutes. Dean knew the man was preparing for what he wanted to say, how to word it in the best way. At least Dean could respect the man’s attempt to keep the peace.

“Gonna be two hundred soon Dean and you’ve seen first hand what that does to a vampire. I know you don’t want to become that... that soulless thing.” Bobby sighed and scrubbed his hand along the back of his neck. “You need to start looking. For all we know, you might need this entire year to find whoever fits.”

Dean curled his fingers into a fist because he could feel the urge to snap at Bobby. It used to come in waves but more and more, it was almost all Dean felt. He knew what Bobby meant, they all did. If a vampire reached their two hundredth year without a mate, the balance inside them seemed to vanish completely. Dean didn’t understand the reason behind it, they had never been able to break down the lore to find where it began, but he had seen it happen.

The creature that had once been a vampire – the creature the vampire became after the two hundred year mark had been worse than a monster. Within three nights he had massacred nearly an entire town, men, women, and children, and it had taken Dean, John, and more than half of the rest of the clan to finally bring it down.

No part of Dean wanted to be that thing.

“You know what you’ll have to do if I don’t find my mate.” Dean shrugged, the problem seemingly easy to fix. Or maybe, part of Dean _wanted_ to reach that point if only because it would be the end of his life. They would have to kill him. Whatever modern idealistic images of vampires might portray, it wasn’t so glamorous to live forever. “You can’t force who your mate is.”

Bobby’s lips twisted in a scowl. “Maybe not, but you could be out there lookin’. Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doin’ Dean. You really just gonna leave your clan? All these people who look to you for guidance and support and you’ll just force them to kill you.”

“Not them. You. You’d kill me.” Dean met Bobby’s gaze, unflinching when Bobby’s scowl intensified. “I know you’d do the right thing if it came down to it.”

Bobby’s hand landed hard on the table. “You want that? Wanna make me kill you Dean? Never thought you’d get so selfish.”

Shoulders tensing, Dean glared at the man. “Why don’t we just talk about the hunt now. John, Mary, you wanna come in from the hall?” Dean didn’t turn to look over his shoulder. Why his second in command actually thought he could spy on their conversation was beyond Dean. And he was gladly take the distraction. “Now,” he said with more force, making it an order instead of a request.

Mary slipped into the room ahead of John. “Dean, we just came down the stairs and didn’t know whether to interrupt.” Smiling slightly she stayed back by the door as John moved around in front of her.

“Dean. It’s been a long day, are you going to let us all rest now?” John tilted his head slightly, shoulders squared.

“Think we should hear what Bobby has for us first.” Dean finally glanced over at them, pushing out of his chair and walking to the far side of the kitchen. “Bobby?”

Bobby looked uncertainly over at John and Mary before shaking his head and shrugging. “Bodies disappearing. There’s been at least a dozen empty graves in the last month. Wouldn’t have called you lot if the bones hadn’t turned up on the other side of town, gnawed on. Never seen anything like it.”

“So you need some extra leg work. Maybe some time underground.” Dean nodded, looking over at John to see what he suggested.

“Sounds like a Ghoul,” John said quietly. He rubbed at his shoulder and looked over at Mary with a slight frown. “Dean, we’ve been on the go a long time. We need a good rest before we take something like this on.”

“You don’t wanna help? I’m not making you.” Dean narrowed his eyes at John, annoyed that the vampire kept insisted they were tired. They’d been traveling for a few days, yes, but there had been times when they stopped to rest. “I can handle it on my own-”

“No, you can’t,” Bobby interrupted, shaking his head. “Damnit Dean, give them the rest of tonight and tomorrow. You lot can head to town to feed tomorrow then see if you can follow up some leads. Right, John? That sounds plausible?”

John’s teeth were clenched so tight the muscle in his jaw was twitching. Mary’s arms snaked around his chest and she peered around his arm. John’s shoulders relaxed and he sighed. “Yeah, sounds plausible but whatever Dean thinks. Dean, you know if you need to go out tonight I’ll be there with you.”

Dean struggled for a long moment over what he _wanted_ to have happen and what he _knew_ should. Even less than a year ago he wouldn’t have hesitated, he would have granted John his request to rest and been relieved by it. Dean didn’t like the slap of reality over how he once was and how he was changing. “Fine, go. Rest.” Dean waved them off, turning away from them.

Frowning, Bobby stared at Dean’s back then looked back at John. “You wanna check in on Jo, make sure she got the shutters in place?”

John’s gaze darkened for a moment and then Mary was tugging on his arm. “Thanks Bobby,” she said. “We’ll check. Night Dean.”

“Night,” John murmured.

Dean didn’t return the words, his body slumped against the wall. It was quiet for some time but he knew Bobby was there, waiting.

Finally Dean stepped away from the wall and turned to him, slowly nodding. “I will look. As much as I can. But you need to promise you won’t let me turn into a monster if I don’t find him.”

Bobby’s adam’s apple dipped with a hard swallow but he dropped his head in a nod. “Yeah, Dean, I promise. Won’t let you turn into a monster.”

“Good,” Dean breathed, turning to head for the hallway. “See you tomorrow Bobby,” he called over his shoulder then took the stairs two at a time to claim the last guest bedroom.

-=-=-=-

In 1936 Dean had met John. He looked back on the era with fond memories, mainly because he’d had a collection of fedora’s that he never got tired of wearing until they finally went out of fashion. By then Dean had experienced enough of the world to understand the only way to blend in was to appear to belong.

John had been a young vampire, changed and taught that humans were free game to be fed upon. Dean had been planning on killing the vampire, saving a town in the process, but after a three hour fight without a clear winner, Dean decided there was something more to the vampire than he’d thought before.

It had taken three weeks with John chained up in a loft drinking only pigs blood to make him stop long enough to actually listen. The vampire was alone as Dean was, and that was really where the idea had first begun.

His clan had only grown from there, though he’d never intended on building one. John was mostly responsible for the collection of misfits that joined them with time. They found vampires that didn’t have a place to belong, that were lost and confused, that didn’t want to be the stereotyped evil being that were meant to be.

Dean was their leader without meaning to be. He was the oldest amongst them and now that Jo had chosen her mate, he was the only one unmated. They respected him, looked up to him, which possibly made Dean falling apart at the seams even more difficult to handle.

It was the reason John didn’t seem to want to leave his side. On most occasions when the clan would split up for some reason, Dean would take some of the more experienced that he truly trusted and John would stay back with the others because he too, knew how to lead.

This time Dean had left Ash in charge because John had made it clear he wasn’t letting the eldest vampire go off on his own. Not even to Bobby’s, who had known Dean for the same amount of time.

Dean knew his friend was worried, he actually hadn’t seen him look this worried since the sixties when he’d first met Mary. John had thought Dean would fall apart without their close partnership, Dean had taken some time to warm up to Mary but he never would have denied the man that connection. Just because Dean was certain there was no soul mate for him out there didn’t mean he would deny the people he cared for that happiness.

Now though, it seemed Dean wasn’t being given much of a choice. Why he had thought he would be able to master the two hundred year curse was beyond him. Maybe because he had only ever killed one human, that first innocent man before he had known what he was. Or maybe because he’d saved thousands of lives, so he thought he deserved a break from the normal rules.

Things at Bobby’s were quiet during the day. Dean knew everyone was sleeping, catching up on the rest Dean had denied them as they traveled. They moved in a series of motor homes, windows covered in the back so they could move around. Dean had paid an absurd amount of money for the windshield that would allow them to see out while filtering out the harmful rays of the sun. It made traveling easier, sleeping? Not so much.

Not that Dean did a lot of sleeping anymore. He kept it secret from everyone though, because not sleeping was only another sign that he was one step closer to losing his mind, his logic, the part of him that knew the difference between right and wrong. Maybe even his soul, if you believed the undead still had them.

When the sun finally set Dean was itching to feed and he could feel the desire thick in the house, the rest of the clan just as hungry.

Dean was hardly three steps out the front door when the screen creaked again. He knew John’s presence, was familiar with calm ease the man carried. “Bout ready to go out?” He asked without turning around.

“Yeah,” John’s voice was still deep and thick with sleep. “Everyone’s up. Mary’s getting them going. Did you rest?” Stepping up beside Dean, John rested his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Dean looked over at him and forced a small smile on his lips. “You think we should hit up that club locally? Or you wanna drive over to the city?”

“What about that town we went to last time we were here. Just on the north side of town?” John smiled. “Seems to me you found a couple fellas to your liking their last time.” John’s smiled widened when Dean’s shoulders actually relaxed slightly.

“Yeah, seems like a good place. If I remember correctly, you and Mary were pretty pleased with your choices too.” Dean laughed softly and turned toward John. “John. I know I’ve been... well. Just, you’re doin’ good, keeping things together. You’ll be just fine if I never find...” Dean trailed off, shrugging as he reached up and patted John’s chest.

"I remember you tellin' me once about _hope_. Even while I was in such a mess that I coudln't even see straight because I was so angry; you told me that there was _always_ a way." John looked out over Bobby's lot and took a deep breath of the fresh night air. "I never would have found Mary if you'd given up on me."

“That’s-” Dean wanted to say it was different for him but that wouldn’t fly with John, Dean knew he shouldn’t even try. “Just sayin’ John, only got a year, there’s over six billion people in the world. Even if you figure only half are male, lot less than that speak English, still way too many people. We found Mary on a whim, don’t think we’re lucky enough to have it happen again.” Or well, Dean didn’t think he was lucky enough.

"Well, if there's any justice in this world... in the way things _are_..." John shook his head and bumped his shoulder against Dean's in a rare gesture of playful affection. "C'mon, I can hear Mary bitching at Jo. Bobby gave me these." He jangled keys in front of Dean. "She's all shined up and over there."

John gestured toward a Black Impala glistening in the moonlight. “Drivin’ her always cheers you up, and you _know_ it.”

Dean rolled his eyes but he snatched the keys, a little relieved by the thought of driving something that wasn’t twenty feet long. “You tell ‘em all I’m leavin’ in five whether they’re in the car or not.” He punched John’s arm lightly then turned to head for the Impala. It would be good to go out, find a burning hot guy and get a fix in more ways than one.

And going out was an excuse not to think about the impending end of his life.

-=-=-=-

Dean thought there was a surprising number of people in the club considering the size of the town. Most of them were likely too young to legally be there but fake IDs went a long way and Dean didn’t care much about age anyway. Sure he usually gravitated to someone a little older, only because he found the young ones too easily attached. It wasn’t often he frequented a place twice but on the off hand chance he did, the last thing he wanted was some seventeen year old trailing after him like a lost puppy.

The clan broke off immediately to head in different directions. Dean liked to hunt alone, safe in the knowledge that he could still sense his clan members should they need him. He scanned the people as he worked his way through the crowd, ignoring the pairs of interested eyes that met his. When Dean chose his man for the night it was hardly ever anyone who shot him needy little looks that were already full of begging.

It was a taste Dean had developed over the years. The strong, confident man. The kind of guy who knew he looked good but didn’t parade himself like a piece of meat. Sure it was a bit selective but there were always one or two in a club, you just had to look a little harder for them.

By his second pass through the club Dean was a little disappointed. It was like, twink night or something. He could see the appeal in the skinny little boys in tight jeans and even tighter shirts, and if push came to shove he’d probably take one in back just to feed, but Dean liked the guys he fucked to have a little more meat. Maybe because he liked to be a little rough.

Just as Dean was about to give up and snag one of the skinny boys who’d been eye fucking him from the moment he stepped inside, something warm seemed to wash through him. Dean stopped, surprised, confused at the sensation. He couldn’t really put his finger on the feeling, or why it suddenly felt like that building anger and irritation was fading away.

Dean turned slowly, eyes scanning each person, trying to pinpoint the one that was generating the unfamiliar peace. His eyes landed on black boots first, one kicked over the other. His gaze drifted up the black jeans covering miles of muscle formed legs, ending in a thin tapered waist where the jeans hung low enough Dean could seek the hint of well defined abs.

The man’s shirt was a dark red, loose enough to hide what Dean knew had to be a chiseled chest and miles of smooth skin. There was a fine dusting of hair visible beneath the v-neck of the shirt and by the time Dean was finally looking into the man’s eyes he was already half hard.

The man had a firm jaw, high cheek bones, and slanted eyes. Dean was crossing to him without much thought. He could easily imagine slipping his hands through the man’s golden hair and Dean thought he was the kind of guy that shouldn’t be at a place like this. He should already have some devoted partner that did everything in his power to keep this guy at his side.

“Hey.” Dean stepped up to the bar where the man was leaning, trying to judge if he was even gay. Not that Dean didn’t fully think he was capable of making someone switch teams, at least for the night.

Sam's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked down at the stranger beside him. He was used to men looking at him, in fact, he had learned long ago to just ignore it. He wasn't used to being approached by people who looked as confident as the man beside him. "Hi," Sam answered.

“Whatcha drinkin’?” Dean liked to ask a few base questions usually, figure out what method worked best to hook a man in. He thought this one might actually be a challenge but manly because he was losing himself to the ease hum in the air, like Sam was sending of ripples of pleasure that Dean was going to drown in. He’d definitely never felt anything like this before.

Sam stared for a few moments, a bit mezmerized by the bottle green color of the stranger's eyes. The slightest shiver whispered down his arms and his lips twitched into a small smile. "I'm drinkin' a beer." He held the bottle up and raised an eyebrow before taking a drink.

Dean dipped his head in a nod and looked up, catching the bar tender’s eye and holding up two fingers and gesturing to the guy’s beer. Turning, Dean leaned back against the bar, his eyes drifting over the crowd then back to the man. “I’m Dean.” He didn’t think this guy would appreciate someone throwing themselves all over him, so he tried his best to play it cool even though part of him felt compelled to tug the man close and kiss him hard.

"Sam." Turning just slightly, Sam watched _Dean_ look around the bar. His profile was striking, strong jaw, high cheek bones but his eyes were where Sam's gaze kept lingering. Huge, green orbs with thick black lashes and Sam could already imagine what they might feel like staring _right_ into him. Laughing softly, he shook his head and took another drink of beer.

"You're not from town," he said. Sam _knew_ that he would remember Dean if he'd seen him before.

“No, I’m not.” Dean let his gaze settle on Sam. If the man was going to initiate conversation, Dean was going to go along with it. “I’ve got a friend who lives around here. Just thought, you know, a small town like this, I had to find out what it’s nightclub was like.” Dean laughed softly, shifting a little closer to the man. God, how long had it been since he casually flirted with someone?

Nodding, Sam turned to lean his hip against the bar behind him. Seeing as Dean didn't appear to be going anywhere, Sam thought he might as well enjoy the view. Dean's lips were full, two gentle curves of wine-red on his pale face and Sam's teeth caught his bottom lip as he stared. "It's not all that great," Sam finally managed to get out. "Busy 'cause people come from miles around on Friday nights."

“Half these kids aren’t even old enough to drive.” Dean smirked and shook his head. “I’m too old to play around with a bunch of teenagers. The crowd always like this?” Dean glanced toward the bar tender and smiled as she set the beers down. He slipped out a few bills and slid them over before sliding the extra beer to Sam. “For when you run out.”

Nodding, Sam dragged his gaze away from Dean’s face. “Well, weekends it is. If I’m lookin’ for … well,” he shrugged and tilted his head slightly. “Sometimes I had to the city. Just here tonight checking out the scenery.”

Looking at Dean out of the corner of his eye, Sam drained his beer and set the empty bottle on the bar beside him. “You’re old enough to drive,” he said. “What are you doing still hanging around a crowd like this?”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving.” Dean glanced around the club, catching sight of John and Mary, still standing beside each other but talking to others. They often pretended to be a couple that liked to swing, like they had an open relationship. They never went as far as Dean went with his feeds, but he liked to leave the person with a good memory the morning after.

Gaze settling on Sam again, Dean’s lips lifted in a small smile. “Then something caught my eye. Figured I could stick around for a little while longer.”

"Yeah?" Sam's heart thumped just a little harder in his chest and he caught the side of his bottom lip under his teeth again. "Guess you're not leavin' right now. Seeings as you just bought me a beer and all." Turning around Sam reached over Dean's body to curl his fingers around the bottle on the far side of the man. He could feel heat crawling slowly up his neck as their chests pressed together. He knew perfectly well that the beer closer to him was the one Dean had intended for him to take.

“That would just be rude,” Dean said quietly and when Sam straightened up he reached out to curl his fingers over Sam’s hip. It could have been a gesture to make sure the man didn’t fall or something but they both knew Sam wasn’t that unsteady. “So you live around here then? Local boy?”

"Local enough now. Moved here a couple years back; needed a bit of a break from....where I was. You visitin' someone I might know?" Sam was having a difficult time ignoring the weight of Dean's hand on his hip.

Dean wet his lips, weighing the pros and cons of telling Sam the truth. It wouldn’t matter really. Sam didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d show up and beg for a second date if they had one good night together. And really? He was feeling a little lightheaded, like Sam was somehow making him drunk. “Bobby Singer?” He finally answered, taking a sip from the beer and trying not to scowl at the bitter taste. “He runs the junkyard.”

“Know _of_ him,” Sam said over the increasing volume of the music. Leaning a little closer he brushed his hair back as he spoke against Dean’s ear. “I’ve heard he keeps to himself. Small towns are odd.” Dean smelled like the night air somehow, fresh and Sam breathed slowly.

“Yeah, that’s Bobby.” Dean’s fingers slipped up under Sam’s shirt, the man’s skin burning against his naturally cold finger tips. Usually when Dean had plans to start a case he kept his hunting short, some fumbling in a back alley, drinking his fill and getting the guy off. Then he’d send the man staggering on his way with a lust drunk grin and what appeared to be a hickey on his neck. Sam though? Dean could picture _a a lot_ more than that happening. “So what are you doing in a town like this anyway? I mean, work wise, can’t imagine it’s the type of place to pay the big bucks.”

Laughing softly, Sam licked his lips. Dean's fingers were cool on his flesh, and the tingle of it was distracting. "I, uh, I write. Novels, just enough readers to keep me goin' but it's what I like doing. What about you?"

A writer huh? Dean wouldn’t have guessed that. There was something even more thrilling though, know that Sam took care of his body because he wanted too. It meant the man put appreciation into himself and that spoke of the confidence Dean always sought out. Sam was shaping up to be a _very_ ideal candidate. “I travel a lot. Work random jobs here and there. Help people who have nowhere else to turn.” Dean’s hand slid around Sam’s side and pressed flat against his back. His pinkie came to rest at the top of Sam’s jeans, pressing with enough force to make his intentions understood. “What do you write?”

Goosebumps wound their way up Sam's flesh, darting around his body and he swallowed before managing to speak again. "I guess, horror - you know, things that go bump in the night. Throw in some sex to liven up the story." Smiling Sam found himself swaying a little closer.

“Sex _always_ livens up the story,” Dean murmured and tucked his pinkie just barely under the jeans. The desire was growing in him, even more so as his finger pushed further still and came in contact with no other clothing. _Fuck_ , knowing the guy was bare under his dark jeans made Dean want to pin him to the bar right there. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so caught up in a person. “Hmm, Sam? You come here with a goal in mind?” He tilted toward the man and let his lips brush the soft velvety skin under his ear. “Sure seems like you mighta been lookin’ for someone.”

Sam's breath faltered at the feather-touch of the man's lips. "Wasn't but think I might have found someone." Turning his head slightly, Sam felt his stubble rasp against Dean's smooth cheek. There was nothing about the man that didn't just cut _right_ through Sam's defences. Sure, he'd picked up men before, but Dean was a little different. He felt almost, dangerous.

“Seems like it,” Dean breathed and dragged his lips along Sam’s jaw. “Got somewhere we could go?” He knew he was nearly growling the words but Dean figured there was no harm in showing Sam exactly what he wanted. “Kinda feeling like, livening up the night.” Dean chuckled at his lame line and caught Sam’s wrist, turning his hand hidden by the bar and pressing it flat against the bulge in Sam’s jeans, pretense be damned.

Letting out a low moan, Sam smiled weakly. "Yeah, I -" His blood was racing through his veins and he couldn't resist pressing closer to Dean. Something in the back of his mind tried to remind him that it probably wasn't the greatest idea to take a complete stranger back to his place but he shoved it aside. "Yeah, my place. My ride or yours?"

“Yours. I gotta couple friends somewhere around here, don’t want to leave them stranded.” Dean curled his fingers over the back of Sam’s neck and brought him in so their lips brushed just barely. “Meet me out front in five, just gotta hand over my keys.” Dean stepped back, his eyes dropping to Sam’s crotch and nearly leering before he met Sam’s gaze once more. “See you out front?”

"Okay," Sam nodded and pulled his keys out of his pockets and took a few steps backwards. "Out front," he said again, _just_ in case there was any doubt.

Dean nodded, watching Sam for a minute more before spinning and heading quickly across the club. Jo and Nick were dancing, Dean knew Nick was still a little nervous about the feeding thing so they would build up to it. John and Mary had left the people they were talking to, no doubt, seeking out a more suitable couple.

He stopped beside John and held up the keys to the car, slight smirk on his face. Out Sam’s space, Dean felt different, more... twitchy. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. “See you in the morning,” he called over the music, dangling the keys between his fingers.

“Found someone to play with?” John’s eyes sparkled in the club lights and he pulled Mary in closer against his body.

“Safe to say it’s gonna be a good night.” Dean grinned, glancing over to where Sam still stood by the bar, finishing his beer. Looking back at John he shrugged and laughed. “Mighta got the best lookin’ guy in the place.”

Mary followed Dean's gaze. "Dean Winchester. You have good taste in men." Laughing she patted John's chest when he bristled slightly.

John looked over at Dean. "You're not actually _happy_ are you?" Cocking a eyebrow John tried to cover his smirk.

“Jesus, you make it sound like a crime.” Dean rolled his eyes and laughed again, half stepping back. “Remember the rules, play safe. Watch Jo and Nick, the guy still hasn’t got the hang of things.” He stepped forward again to kiss Mary’s cheek then pat John’s arm. “Don’t push it too late yeah?”

"Yes Sir," John quipped. Shoving at Dean's shoulder he nodded. "We'll be fine. For once, have a good time without worrying."

“Okay, I will.” Dean laughed as John’s eyebrows lifted then turned, weaving through the crowd once more and stepping outside. The prospect of spending a night with Sam was more than appealing, because Dean was more than enjoying the way the man made him feel, even if he thought he should be unsettled about _why_ he felt that way.

Dean stepped along the wall, watching as the door swung open a minute later. He knew it was Sam, could feel that rush of sensation intensifying, and Dean reached out without thinking. His hand slid to curl around the back of Sam’s neck and he dragged the man in, crushing their lips together. The kiss sparked and burned in a way Dean had never felt before.

Sam's knees buckled and he grabbed onto Dean's leather jacket as his mouth opened to deepen the kiss. Dean's fingers tightening on the back of his neck sent a shudder rolling down his body and Sam's hand slid up the cool silk of Dean's shirt. The kiss, tinged with the fear of _for once_ not being sure sent heat racing through Sam's body.

Dean kissed with enough force to make it clear how he felt about being in charge. As he pulled back he caught Sam’s lower lip between his teeth and dragged slowly out, body pressing flush against the man’s. “You ready to get out of here?” He murmured, sliding his hand down along Sam’s back.

Sam's back arched slightly and he opened his eyes slowly as he nodded. "Car's over there." Once he'd pried his fingers off Dean's jacket and stumbled back slightly he waved over his shoulder. "Let's go," he said.

A slight smirk danced across Dean’s lips and he trailed after Sam, admiring the man’s red GTO as they stepped closer. “Nice, she’s beautiful.” He ran his fingers appreciatively over the smooth finish. “V8? She still got her original parts?” Dean had lived in a time where cars were more than a rarity, almost non-existant, so his appreciation for them was well founded.

Crooked smile on his lips, Sam opened the door. "Pretty much. Some custom stuff. You like cars?" Before Dean could answer Sam slipped inside and reached over to unlock the passenger door.

Dean pulled the door open and dropped down on the seat, closing the door after him. “Love cars.” He pointed out the window as they backed up, gesturing to the shiny black of his own car. “That’s mine. ‘67 Chevy Impala. Still as gorgeous as the day I got her.” Of course, back then, the car was brand new but he didn’t tell Sam that.

Sam had seen the sleek black Impala on his way in and found it a little hard to believe that such a great car belonged to someone as hot as Dean. Fishing for a little bit of information Sam started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "You must really trust your friend letting him drive your car."

“Yeah. John, he’s, well I guess you could say he’s my best friend. Known him a long time. His girl Mary, she keeps him grounded, so I’m positive she’ll make sure they get home safely.” Dean laughed softly and scooted across the bench, laying his hand on Sam’s thigh. “You live far from here?”

"Just on the outskirts of town." Sam shifted his hips slightly. He'd been half hard since Dean's fingers had slipped under his shirt. Even though he was as uncomfortable as fuck he wouldn't change it for anything. It had been entirely too long since he'd felt so turned on and he planned to get what he could out of it. Dean didn't seem like the kind of guy who would be back for a second _date_.

Dean shifted closer until he could brush his lips along Sam’s neck. _God_ he could smell the man, could feel the race of his pulse. Dean couldn’t wait to drink from him, he was going to taste amazing. “You the kind of guy who doesn’t do this?” He murmured against the man’s warm skin, slowly laving his tongue over the sweet, salty skin.

Clearing his throat, Sam's finger curled so tight on the steering wheel that his knuckles whitened. "Gonna...drive off the road if you do that."

Even as he spoke, Sam slid his hand over Dean's thigh and pressed his palm against the hard line in the man's jeans. Dean only hissed softly against Sam's flesh and his breath felt strangely cool.

“Good,” Dean breathed slowly, rocking his hips up against Sam. He laughed softly after a moment and shook his head. “Not that you’re going to drive off the road. You live alone?” Dean could feel the lengthening of his teeth as Sam’s pulse picked up speed and he couldn’t help letting them graze slowly over the man’s skin. He couldn’t _wait_ to feed from him.

"Jesus," Sam whispered. "Yeah, alone. I live alone. _God_. Right over here." Sam yanked the steering wheel to the right and headed down the long driveway to his house. He'd chosen the small house when he moved there because it was secluded, far enough from town to keep people away. Sam liked his time by himself.

By the time he pulled up in front of his porch Sam was so hard he was aching and he was reaching for Dean even as he slid the transmission into park. “Fuck,” he murmured.

In one swift motion Dean was twisting Sam, pressing him flat against the door and once more crushing their lips together. His hands moved over the man’s chest, rucking his t-shirt up, palming roughly a moment later over his crouch. His tongue thrust forward hard and Dean wasn’t sure he’d ever been so out of control with someone. It was like Sam brought out the desire to dominate.

Sam's body was on fire; he wasn't used to someone being able to actually shove him around. It was _hot_. Moaning into the kiss; Sam slid his fingers up Dean's neck into his soft hair. His foot fell to the floor with a dull thump and he twisted his hips up wanting more of the pressure of Dean's hand. Sucking on Dean's Tongue Sam's free hand slapped out to the side and grabbed onto the steering wheel.

Dean tore back from the kiss and worked his lips across the man’s jaw. He couldn’t wait anymore, that needy, burning desire was definitely more intense than Dean could ever remember it being. His lips moved down over the man’s neck until he felt the racing pulse against the outward flick of his tongue. Moaning low in his throat, Dean pressed harder forward and sank his teeth into the silky smooth skin, surging harder forward so he could latch onto the punctured skin and pull in mouthful after mouthful of rich, coppery blood.

An icey fire shot down Sam's neck; _painpleasure_ and his body jolted up off the seat. His hands clawed their way around Dean's shoulders to cinch tight and press the man closer. Rocking up against the firm body Sam moaned, hips twisting as he writhed with pleasure. Wave after wave of heat and pleasure spiralled down his body. "Dean," he whispered.

Biting someone didn’t usually cause them pain but Dean was certain he had never felt anyone respond quite like this. It felt almost like he could make Sam come from this alone and that was far too hot for his brain to handle. He needed the man naked, he wanted to bite and mark every inch of him.

Flicking his tongue over the wound to close it, Dean swallowed the last of the blood and shuddered, pulling back slightly. “Inside,” he growled, his hand pressing hard against Sam’s crotch.

Bleary-eyed, Sam panted softly into Dean's hair for a few moments. His head was spinning, and he did what Dean said without even thinking about it. Slapping his hand behind him he fumbled with the door handle and when the door finally unlatched he half crawked back out of the car and stood there, chest heaving, watching as Dean climbed out of the car.

“Still with me Sammy?” Dean asked softly, shutting the door of the GTO then stepping forward. His arm slid around the man’s waist and he tilted up to gently kiss over his jaw. “Usually prefer my men to be conscious when I fuck them.”

"Oh God," Sam moaned. Another shudder made it's way down his body and he gripped a handful of Dean's hair as the man pushed him back toward the porch steps. Stumbling, he felt Dean catch him as they moved up the stairs. Sam's lips moved over Dean's forehead, along his cheek and down to the corner of his mouth as they moved.

It took far too long in Dean’s opinion for them to get inside. But the minute they were he was turning Sam and pushing him up against the oak surface, hand shoving hard up under Sam’s shirt. He nearly tore the fabric pulling it over the man’s head then he was dipping down, mouthing over Sam’s pecs, sinking his teeth into the skin right above the man’s heart. He wanted Sam to look at himself tomorrow and _know_ how thoroughly he’d been claimed.

"Jesus," Sam murmured. Pain darted along his skin and morphed into pleasure as he flinched. Dean's skin was cold and smooth, his muscles rippling under Sam's palms. Sam pushed his shoulders back so his body arched off the door; his crotch ground against Dean's thigh as the man's mouth kissed and lapped at his chest.

Dean slid his tongue over the wound, knowing that Sam seeing any blood would likely bring everything to grinding halt. He wet his lips as he stepped back and slid out of his coat, letting it drop to the floor. His eyes locked on Sam’s lust blown gaze as he pulled off his shifrt and dropped it beside his coat.

A slow smirk tugged at his lips as he undid his belt, flicked his button open and dragged the zipper down. “You got a bedroom?” He murmured, slipping his hand under his briefs to adjust himself.

Trembling, Sam rubbed at his chest and winched slightly. He walked forward. "You like it kinda rough," he murmured. He was already moving back toward Dean, circling around to his side almost automatically. Running his nose through Dean's hair, he dipped his head down and brushed his lips over the man's cheek. "Bedroom's at the end of the hall," he whispered.

“Too rough for you?” Dean murmured and hooked his arm around Sam’s waist, pulling him slowly backward down the hall. His hands slid along Sam’s bare back, fingers dipping under the back of his jeans. It was a little surreal, the way he just wanted to _devour_ Sam. Dean kept thinking he should stop to really think about why it was like this but he couldn’t be bothered.

His shoulder bumped into the door frame of Sam’s bedroom and their lips slid together. “M’gonna be rough,” he whispered into the kiss, trailing off in a silent _unless you tell me not too_.

Nodding, Sam bit down on Dean's bottom lip as he pushed off the wall to guide them the rest of the way through the door frame. "S'good, I-" Sam sucked in a sharp breath as Dean's fingers slid lower under his jeans. Pulling back slightly he slid his hands down Dean's chest until he could hook his thumbs over the dark denim of the man's jeans and push it down.

Kicking out of the jeans and briefs, shoes and socks, Dean framed Sam’s jaw with his hands and drew him forward, their lips collided once more. They fumbled back for the bed and Dean dropped his hands, tugging Sam’s jeans open in two quick movements. “God, I want you,” he gasped into the kiss, pushing Sam back onto the bed.

Gasping for air Sam crawled back as he kicked out of his jeans. "You got a promise to keep," he whispered. Reaching down he pulled on Dean's arm until Dean crawled up over him. There was something almost predatory about the dark gaze that held his and Sam leaned up to lick his way along Dean's full bottom lip.

Moaning into the kiss Dean settled himself over Sam, rocking his hips forward as his tongue slid forward to map along the inside of Sam’s mouth. Miles of muscled skin and Dean knew he could spend all night worshipping it and still not get his fill. His hips lifted and his hand moved down between their bodies, sliding along Sam’s cock, grazing across his balls, tucking back to caress Sam’s hole once. “Give me something to use,” he growled into Sam’s mouth.

Arm curled around Dean’s cool neck, Sam reached out blindly and snatched at the drawer handle on the night stand. Somehow, he managed to get the drawer open and curl his fingers around a bottle of lube.

“Here.” He spoke into the kiss, tongue sweeping forward to taste Dean’s mouth. Pressing the lube in his hand he felt the top come off and the slick liquid coating his fingers. Sliding his hand down between them he caught Dean’s hand for a moment as he lurched up into the kiss.

The man’s entire body was cool, smooth and Sam shivered and pressed closer. As soon as Dean’s fingers were back, pressing forward for entrance he curled his still slick fingers around Dean’s cock and stroked slowly.

“God, you want it too don’t you?” Dean groaned into the kiss and shoved three fingers hard and sloppy fast up into the man. Sam let out a call that sounded caught somewhere between pain and pleasure. His fingers spread wide, stretching Sam as his hips jerked forward into the slick circle of fingers around his cock.

“Gonna let me take you now? So you’re still tight around me?” Dean growled and thrust his fingers up hard, aiming for that sensitive bundle of nerves that he knew would drive the man insane.

A burst of pleasure made Sam throw his head back. His spine arched up off the mattress and his nails dragged down Dean's chest. A small whimper escaped his lips and he gasped in a deep breath of air and let out a long, low moan. "Yes," he murmured. "Yes, I want it - want you, Yes."

All his words tangled together as Dean thrust his fingers forward again and another wave of pleasure ricocheted through Sam's trembling body. Pulling himself up he crashed his mouth against Dean's and the coppery taste of blood burst across his taste buds as his lip stung. "Please," he murmured in between urgent kisses. "Fuck me. Please, I want it."

“Jesus Christ,” Dean hissed and tugged his fingers free. He thought about flipping Sam onto his stomach but he didn’t want that. He wanted to see Sam when he claimed him. He grabbed Sam’s legs and brought them up to his shoulders, bending the man’s body as he lined up.

The smooth silky heat of Sam drew him in, too tight around Dean and he groaned, sinking down in one deep thrust. Sam’s breath hitched and Dean fell over him, kissing him surprisingly soft and tender considering how roughly he’d just fucked into him. “Shh, it’s good, so good Sam. You like it,” he murmured into the man’s lips.

"Yes," Sam hissed. One had was gripping Dean's hair tightly and Sam's entire body trembled as he breathed through the burn that ripped through him. Letting out a long slow breath, Sam blinked his eyes open and stared up at Dean's dark gaze then rocked his hips up slightly. Dean's cock was thick, and Sam felt so full and thoroughly _taken_. Then Dean's hips moved forward and Sam let out a low moan.

Dean didn’t waste any time building up to more. His hips drew back and fucked hard forward, eyes fluttering as muscles rippled tight around him. Shifting to the other side of Sam’s neck, Dean watched the flutter of the man’s racing pulse under his skin before he was moving in, tongue working over the skin moments before his teeth sank in. Dean moaned at the rush of blood flooding over his tongue as his hips snapped roughly down, making him feel dizzy and _perfect_.

The breath that Sam drew in smelled of Dean's hair and he cirlced his arm around the man's neck as he turned into the soft golden brown strands. There was another jolt of pleasure along his neck. "What ... what you doin' to me," Sam almost slurred.

Without waiting for an answer he twisted weakly and tried hard to match each of Dean's hard thrusts. Panting against Dean’s ear, moaning softly then letting his head fall back Sam could already feel the tight coil of pleasure building within him. Each time Dean sucked on his neck Sam’s entire body shuddered.

The blood pulsed swift and thick along Dean’s tongue and it was so much better than he remembered blood tasting. God, it couldn’t possibly have been that long since he last fed. Sam though, he was making his mind spin in a way no one ever had before. He forced himself to stop drinking, not wanting to make the man pass out. He flicked his tongue over the wound and drew up, thrusting hard down into Sam.

“Fuck, close, Sam,” Dean groaned and shoved a hand between them, grasping Sam’s cock and stroking hard and fast. “Come for me,” he hissed, blinking his eyes open to stare down at Sam.

Sam dug his nails into the back of Dean's neck and held on tight. The man's words were like a command that his body already knew to follow. He let out a small sound; a soft keen more than anything else and then he was coming. His aching flesh slipped through Dean's grip and Sam felt each spurt of come that splashed between their bodies.

Watching Sam fall apart had more of an effect on Dean than he’d anticipated. The flush of color on his cheeks, the way his eyes rolled back, the soft noise falling from his lips and Dean thrust hard forward one, twice, before he was coming. His release slammed hard through him and Dean moaned as he worked his hips forward through the waves of pleasure.

Minutes later he collapsed on top of Sam, panting into his neck. He could still smell the coppery tinge of blood and Dean nipped gently on the skin, lapping gently at the small beads of blood.

Smiling softly, Sam curled his hand over the back of Dean's neck and pressed him closer. Dean's lips were gentle on his throat, less urgent and Sam felt a little like he was floating just above the mattress rather than sinking down into it. “S’good?” he asked softly.

“Incredible,” Dean whispered, closing the wound and gently pulling his hips back. He flopped onto his back beside Sam, his hand draping over the man’s chest. “Been a while since it felt like that,” he breathed, satiated in a way he actually couldn’t remember ever feeling.

"Same," Sam murmured. Taking a deep breath he used the last of his energy to roll toward Dean. His fingers slid over the man's chest and he frowned. "You're cold." Flailing his hand over behind him he pulled up the blanket and folded it over them, rubbing Dean's chest gently.

Mouthing the man’s shoulder, Sam smiled. “Better?”

“Yeah, better,” Dean breathed and he finally felt like the sleeping he’d been missing out on was catching up to him. He felt... safe. Warm in a way he couldn’t be anymore. He felt like he could sleep for a year and his arm slid around Sam once more. “Who are you?” He whispered, wishing he could understand how Sam made him feel like this.

“Lucky stranger,” Sam whispered. His mind was cloudy with pleasure and he was exhausted. There was no way he could keep his eyes open so he simply trailed his fingers along Dean’s collar bone. “Stay tonight?”

“Okay,” Dean almost sighed the word. He knew he’d only be able to stay until the sun was threatening to rise and for maybe the first time in his undead life, Dean regretted the fact. He turned to brush his lips over Sam’s temple before sinking down into the sleep pulling at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean lamented leaving Sam’s bed in the darkness of early morning. For a few minutes he simply stared down at the man, at the two bruises on his neck, the one on his chest. Part of him hoped Sam wouldn’t hate him when he woke up alone. Then he realized none of that should matter and he forced himself to dress and leave.

He still felt rejuvenated, lighter than he’d been in so long - maybe ever. Sam’s blood was still swimming through him, his skin was still tingling from their touches, and if Dean never saw him again - which was likely - he would always remember the feel of that man.

No one was awake as Dean silently ascended the steps to his room. His bed felt too cold and he laid on his side, staring at the empty spot, wondering why now of all times he actually _missed_ someone. It didn’t make sense.

Thankfully, Dean’s thoughts left him long enough to catch up on more sleep.

It was still dark when he woke but it was night and Dean couldn’t believe he’d slept through the entire day. His mind instantly turned to Sam as he showered and dressed, something aching slightly when he found himself wondering how Sam might have reacted that morning.

He never had found out if Sam did this thing very often.

Heading down the stairs, Dean listened to the rise of voices in the kitchen and he headed that way, pushing his hand back up through his still shower damp hair. “Good evening everyone,” he said, heading across the kitchen to get a glass of water. “What are we talking about?”

Bobby’s brows rose and he looked curiously at John then back at Dean in confusion. “Uh, just discussin’ another body that’s turned up missin’.”

“Another huh?” Dean sighed and leaned back against the counter, sipping from the cup. “Well we’ll just have to start looking. John, any ideas where we should start?”

John blinked a few times and then glanced over at Mary who covered her mouth to hide her grin. Rubbing the back of his neck, John looked back over at Dean. “What happened to _you_?”

“What?” Dean frowned, looking around the silent room. “What do you mean what happened to me? I told you I was leaving last night.” He couldn’t figure out why they were all looking at him like he’d grown an extra head.

“And where exactly did you go?” Bobby asked with a shaky laugh.

“To-” Dean caught his lip under his teeth for a moment and cleared his throat. “Oh great, now you’re all going to give me shit because I got laid? Do I need to remind you _all_ that I’m your elder and should be respected?”

"It's not that, you just actually look happ-"

"John!" Mary's leg stretched out quickly under the table and connected with John's shin.

"Ow, Jesus!" John reached down to rub at his leg and glared up at Mary.

Mary's eyes widened slightly and she turned on her chair to smile over at Dean. "We're just really pleased to see you looking so relaxed, that's all, Dean."

“Right,” Dean said slowly, nodding his head. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Dean was sure he was always more relaxed after sex and really, that’s probably what this entire thing was anyway. He wasn’t losing grips on himself, he just needed someone like Sam to come along and blow his mind quite thoroughly.

“So uh, I take it this guy was quite... special.” Bobby cut off in a noise somewhere between a laugh and an uncomfortable cough.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Sam was, just. You know, he was...” Dean trailed off, his gaze fixing on the ceiling as he thought about exactly _what_ Sam was. Beautiful, breath taking even, sweet, amazing in bed. And the way he made Dean feel? He couldn’t even put that into words.

John's eyebrows lifted slowly as he watched Dean stare off out the window. "Uh, Dean? Did you - feel anything unusual last night?"

“Unusual?” Dean looked over at John, frowning slightly then half laughing. “No uh, I’d say it all went about the same as- you know, it should.” He laughed and rolled his shoulders back, massaging along the back of his neck then across his chest. “Feel kind of weird now though.”

“Weird how?” Bobby shared a look with John then back at Dean. “His blood okay?”

“No, his blood was, I mean it was fine. I don’t think it’s that.” Dean shook his head, pressing his fingers into his chest. “I don’t know this is more, something, weird. Off. Empty or something. Well whatever, doesn’t matter. The case?”

“Empty?” John shook off Mary’s hand when she tried to quiet him again. “Like empty how?”

“John,” Mary whispered.

Dean set his glass down and frowned at them, pushing away from the counter. “What are you thinking? You don’t think - I mean, Sam, he wouldn’t hurt me. He would never do something like that. I’m not feeling weak or - you know, I feel great. I feel fine. Stop looking at me like that John.”

“How do you know he’d never hurt you?” John leaned forward on the table, hands clasped tightly.

Mary stood slowly and walked over to stand beside Dean. “Dean? How did you know? Was it something he did or said? Or just something you felt?”

Dean didn’t like the looks on either of the vampire’s faces, or the look of slow understanding growing on Bobby’s face. “I- why would he have said something like that?” He laughed weakly and shook his head. “It was what I felt- or, just, I just knew. You two wanna stop lookin’ at me like you think I’m fucking adorable or something.”

“John, you don’t really think...” Bobby trailed off, tugging his hat off and scrubbing his hand across his scalp.

John's hand slammed down on the table so hard the dishes rattle. "I _knew_ it!"

"John!" Mary headed back over to the table and sat down again. Lowering her voice she turned toward John and pushed her long blonde hair back over her shoulders. "Just let it go, John, you're just gonna upset him again."

"I am _not_ and _yes_ I do, god damnit, Bobby!" John lifted his hands and smiled across at Dean. "Do you think maybe he's the one?"

“And who would have thought! Here all along. It really is a matter of fate!” Bobby laughed, his hand slamming down on the counter as well.

Dean looked from Bobby to John to Mary and back to John. “The one what?” He finally asked and stared as John scoffed and gestured to his mate. “What?” Dean’s eyes widened. “Oh you’ve got to be _kidding_ me. Sam? Sam is not the _one_ just because I’m relaxed after some extremely intense fucking.”

“Dean, now listen to them for a few moments,” Mary said softly. “When John and I met...wait. Extremely intense fucking? Like you just had to have him?”

John cleared his throat and sat back on his chair laughing softly.

“That’s- way more than I needed to know.” Dean shook his head, running his hand back through his hair. “I’ve just been really tense lately you know? Which was why...” But Mary did have a point, it had been like he just _had_ to have Sam. “It couldn’t possibly be,” Dean whispered, but the ache in his chest only seemed to grow. “I just needed a release.”

John’s smiled morphed into a broad grin. “It’s him. I’m tellin’ you. Dean, what about … what drew you to him?”

Mary’s hand slid across the table to slip under John’s. “Tell him about you and me.”

“He knows, I mean - Dean I couldn’t stay away from her but it was like I just couldn’t wait to touch her, _drink_ from her. Did you drink? Of _course_ you drank. Do you feel different though? Then - did it feel-”

“ _What_ John’s trying to say...” Mary interrupted. “Maybe while you were having this rather mind-blowing fuck did it feel like _more_?”

“Mary, once upon a time you used to be a proper girl.” Dean eyed her for a moment before scoffing and rolling his eyes. “It was different for you two. Back then, it wasn’t so common to randomly hook up and...” Dean was probably just making pathetic excuses now but there was just _no way._

“Dean, I can see you’re gonna fight this but seriously, stop for a moment, think about what they’re saying. How did Sam make you feel? Have you felt that way with someone before? Hell, how do you feel now?” Bobby gestured toward him, as if how Dean felt now would certainly mean Sam was his soul mate.

Frowning, Dean slid his arms across his chest and his mind turned instantly to Sam. That was probably a bad sign. “This is ridiculous,” he whispered, not sounding nearly as annoyed as he meant too.

“How do you feel Dean?” Bobby pressed, fixing hard eyes on him.

“You may be a grown man Bobby but don’t think I won’t punish you.” Dean snapped then rolled his eyes. “Fuck that came out wrong. Can we just stop talking about this shit? Bodies are missing. And since no one seems to be taking it seriously, it looks like I’ll have to delegate tasks.” There was that surge of anger again, huh, usually good fucks kept him calm longer than that.

John rolled his eyes. "Dean, are you feeling angry again? It's coming back sooner?"

“Fuck, just stop.” Dean clenched his fingers into fists and glared at them all. “Me running into some random guy, Sam, in a club, in _this_ town and having him end up being my soul mate? The chances of all of that lining up, it’s absurd. You are all just desperate for me to find the one, and just because Sam made me feel at ease, and warm all over, and happier than I can ever remember feeling...”

Dean swallowed thickly and the anger melted from him because _shit_. “It just can’t be,” he whispered, laying his hand over his face.

“We can still find him. Where did you go?” John was up and moving around the table before Mary could stop him from interfering again.

“No.” Dean looked up at John, shaking his head. “Sam is just- he’s just a man, he writes books and he has a life and it doesn’t involve being a vampire. I can’t possibly ask him to- unless he says to me, Dean, make me a vampire, it’s not happening. I won’t ruin his life like that.”

“Dean, you can’t just-” Bobby sighed, shaking his head. “John, tell him about changing Mary, it wasn’t like that right? You didn’t feel like you were ending her life right? And Mary, did you feel like you were giving up on things?”

“No, no - it’s not like that. I mean, I suppose it was but Mary understood afterwards. After-” John rubbed a hand down his face.

“I did.” Mary smiled over at John warmly. “Dean, I was scared at first, sure, but it’s the way it happens. You can’t really expect anyone to understand before the change.”

“I can’t possibly kill him.” Dean nearly choked on the words and he shook his head, taking a step away. “We’re not discussing this any longer. I’m going to try and track down what the hell ever is stealing bodies.”

“Dean-”

“Bobby, I said drop it.” Dean shot him a look before turning and leaving the room, maybe a little too shocked to really process this. Sam was his soul mate? Then he should be happy, and that was just never something he would be able to have with Dean because this world was dark and cold and Sam was full of too much light for it.

“We can’t just drop this,” Bobby whispered once the front door had slammed closed.

“He doesn’t understand,” said John softly. “And he’s too damn close to-” Everyone hated referring to the fact that Dean was running out of time.

“Then let’s go and get him,” Mary said.

“You what?” John spun and looked over at his mate.

Bobby laughed, rubbing over his jaw. “What you think Mary? Gonna go kidnap the kid and drag him back here? Did you get a good look at him last night?”

“He was well over six feet tall, had long hair, muscular and drop-dead gorgeous. You think there are a lot of men in this town-” Mary’s eyes snapped up to Bobby’s. “You know a writer who fits that description?”

John held up his hands between Bobby and Mary. “Okay. Back up the truck. We can’t just go and _kidnap_ someone. Not only does it go against everything Dean’s been trying to prove about us, but _he_ will kill us.”

“And if it doesn’t happen? If we don’t get this Sam to tell Dean he wants to be with him, then _I_ will have to kill him. You think- after everything - my whole life with-” Bobby inhaled shakily and shook his head. “You know what he means to me John. Killing him, that’s not something I want to do.”

John's expression softened and he headed over to Bobby to squeeze the man's shoulder. "I know how much you care about him."

"I'm right. You both know it. We'll go and get this...Sam and he _will_ understand or Dean will make him." Tilting her head slightly Mary folded her arms. "Do I have to do this by myself or is one of you going to get off your ass and help me?"

“You think it could be him, Bobby?” John stared hard at Bobby for a few moments.

“I think you two would know better than me. But the Dean that came down those stairs was the Dean we all know. And if Sam made him act that way? Then I say John, you best listen to your girl and give her a hand kidnapping this apparently drop dead gorgeous, over six foot tall man.” Bobby laughed and shook his head.

“Trick is how to find him. I could call Leslie down at the station, she owes me one.” Bobby patted John’s arm, his hand lingering there. “It’s for the best, right?”

“Yeah, I think- yeah.” John nodded.

“Finally!” Mary sighed. “You two, I swear. Make the call, Bobby. Maybe we can get this done before Dean comes back.”

“Let’s hope so,” Bobby muttered and turned, reaching out for the phone before anyone could change their mind.

o0o

Dean spent two hours staring at the ceiling as he waited for the sun to set. He was going to be losing sleep again. Hell, he was going to fall right back into how he’d been before Sam and that was almost terrifying. Mainly because it meant he was admitting to Sam being more than a casual lay.

God, he was _so much_ more than that and how could Dean possibly still have growing feelings for the man when he hadn’t even seen him for nearly two days.

Groaning, Dean rolled off the edge of the bed and straightened up, slowly dressing. How was he going to be over the next year? Maybe Dean should go now. Maybe Dean should pin himself down in the middle of a field and let his body catch on fire.

Or, maybe Dean should stop having suicidal thoughts and just get the fuck over the entire thing.

Still rubbing along his face, Dean headed out of the room and down the stairs. He could hear voices in the kitchen but he didn’t feel like having a conversation. Instead he dropped down onto the couch and tried to shove away the anger curling through him.

John’s hands connected solidly with Mary's back and she stumbled into the living room then straightened and smoothed down her t-shirt. "Dean, we ... we heard you come down." Smiling she folded her arms and glanced back over her shoulder into the hall.

John stepped into the room slowly and smiled innocently as he nudged Mary with his elbow.

"I know," she whispered.

Dean was not in the least bit soothed by the twitchy behavior of the couple and his eyebrows lifted, his shoulders automatically tensing. “And?” He asked quietly, trying not to preemptively snap at them.

"Well," Mary began, "we were thinking-"

"And it was her idea," John added.

Mary frowned. "We got you something. John got you something." She nodded and held out her hand to Dean. "Come and see."

“Got me... what could possibly have gotten me?” Dean continued to eye them suspiciously but he took Mary’s hand because he did trust the girl. “I’m appropriately scared.”

Pulling Dean down the hallway Mary stopped at the basement door. “Now, you promise you’ll just _not_ get mad until you think about it?”

John bumped into Mary’s back as she stopped and smiled nervously at Dean. “Let’s go, no point in putting it off, Mary.”

Mary pulled the door open and headed downstairs pulling Dean after her. John followed closely behind them, shoulders squaring as they approached the panic room door.

Dean couldn’t think of a single reason why they would be leading him down to Bobby’s panic room to give him a gift they supposedly got him. He frowned as John opened the door, looking over at them.

“Guys? What the hel-” Dean cut short as John nudged him forward and his eyes suddenly landed on the tall, muscular man on the bed.

If Dean’s heart were still beating it would have skipped a few beats. Sam. _His_ Sam. Lying sprawled on the bed. His impossibly long legs were covered with black sweats that hung low on his hips, each curve of abs visible since, for some reason, the man had no shirt on. “Sam,” he whispered and stepped forward, his eyes growing wide as he whipped back around stare at John and Mary. “What the hell did you do?”

John looked at Mary and then stepped slightly in front of her. “Listen, he’s the one, Dean. We’re sure of it. You just need to talk to him and … and explain a little bit about what’s going on.”

Mary peered over Dean’s shoulder as Sam let out a weak groan then tugged on John’s arm as she pulled him back toward the door. “You should, you should be with him when he wakes up. He... we had to drug him. Bobby drugged him and-”

“We were as careful as we could be but he couldn’t see where we were bringing him in case something went wrong,” John finished.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean hissed, stepping toward them. “You _drugged_ him? You want this man to hand himself over to me and to get him to do that you drug him, kidnap him, and lock him in a fucking panic room? You realize when he wakes up he’s going to think I’m absolutely insane?” Dean curled his hand up through his hair, tugging sharply on the locks.

“This is bad. This is really, very bad.” And even as he was saying it, Dean felt calmed, that ghost heat from Sam seeping through him.

"He fought me, if you find any bruises," John muttered. "Swung at me even though we went while he was sleepin'. The guy is strong. I can see why you-"

"John, we should really be going," Mary said. Shoving gently at John she stepped out of the room. "There's water and some food over there on the counter...and pain killers." Mary flinched and stepped back again.

“Great, and where are the handcuffs so I can chain him up and keep him prisoner here?” Dean rolled his eyes, laying the sarcasm on thick. On the bed Sam groaned and rolled again and Dean shook his head. “Get out of here, both of you; I can’t fathom trying to explain you as well.”

They left without a word and Dean was grateful because he couldn’t really say anything else that wasn’t incredibly mean. He crossed to the water bottle and shrugged off his coat. Dean had no idea what he was going to say to Sam but he was fairly sure the man was going to hate him now.

Standing over the bed, Dean swallowed thick and nervous, slowly sinking down onto the edge. “Sam?” He whispered, laying his coat over Sam’s chest and gently touching his forehead. _Fuck_ it was good to see the man.

Blinking his eyes open slowly Sam groaned again. His head was throbbing and the room kind of tilted strangely. His limbs felt too heavy to move and he squinted as he tried to focus on the form in front of him. "Where... what happened?"

“Shh, don’t try and do too much,” Dean murmured and gently shifted, helping Sam sit up against his chest and bringing the water to his lips. “Just take a sip or two, wanna make sure you don’t get dehydrated.” Dean thought it was probably a stupid thing to say but he didn’t know how to answer Sam’s question.

"Dehydr-" Sam's shook his head slowly and sifted back through his mind. He'd worked out, showered and crashed early. Finally, his vision focused and he looked up into a familiar face. "Dean?"

“Yeah, hi.” Dean smiled softly at him, shaking his head. “Um, so.” Dean was going to beat John _so hard_ for this. Possibly Mary too, she could handle it. “How are you feeling?” That was a ridiculous question; Dean flinched as the words left his mouth.

"Feeling?" Sam leaned back after pushing the water away. "Like I've been-" Sam's brow furrowed and then he swayed forward slightly as he lifted his hand to his jaw. "I was...there were these people. And, a guy punched me. I fought- Jesus-" Pushing back from Dean quickly Sam banged against the wall and winched. "Are you okay? Where are we?"

Dean’s insides tightened when Sam moved away and even more so when he realized that he didn’t even want to lie, no matter how much easier it would make things. “I’m okay Sam,” Dean whispered and shifted to the edge of the bed, giving Sam as much room as he could handle.

“We’re... at Bobby’s place. My friend. Look Sam, I’m really sorry about all of this. My friends seem to think you’re the one and it’s insane. I’m going to get you out of here, so just- yeah.” Dean stopped talking abruptly, realizing how crazy all of this must sound.

"Your friends did this to me?" Sam shoved the jacket off that was covering him and looked around as fear started to gnaw at his sense. "This is...this is crazy." He shifted further away and tried to roll over but dizziness engulfed him again and he slumped against Dean's side weakly. "Who are you people?"

“We- we’re-.” Dean sighed and slowly put his arm around Sam, worried he might pass out completely. He had no idea why John seemed to think this would be easy. The only other person Dean had told about this was Bobby and back then, Bobby had seen him in action. Sam was going to make a break for it and Dean would never see him again.

“We’re not human. I’m not human. My friends seem to think you’re my soul mate and if I reach two hundred without a soul mate I’ll turn into a monster and they’ll have to kill me but only if I don’t have a mate. You. According to them. Anyway, that’s why... they don’t want me to be a monster.”

Dean braced himself in case Sam actually made any sense of his rambling and just shoved him off the bed.

Dean's words were getting into Sam's brain, he was sure of it; the problem was that they weren't making sense. "You're not human?" Sam shifted away from Dean again and tried to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Not human," he murmured under his breath. _Just_ great. He picks up a guy who is hotter than hell and that he actually wants to see again and then he's suddenly kidnapped in the middle of the night.

Sam pushed up quickly, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "I was kidnapped... someone came into my- your friends did this to me?" Sam stumbled back a step and a wave of nausea slammed into him. The room tipped and Sam staggered.

In a flash Dean surged forward and caught Sam before he could go down. “Hey, okay, take it easy for a few minutes okay?” He lifted the man and carried him back to the bed, smothering a smile at Sam’s surprised, wide eyes. He carried Sam over to the bed and sat him down again.

This time though, Dean didn’t sit. Instead he took a couple of steps back and tried to shake off the feeling that this was going to end so very badly, possibly with Dean being more broken than he ever had been before.

“I didn’t know they were going to take you Sam. It’s just, the way you made me feel. It was so intense, so amazing, when we were together, when I drank from-” Dean’s eyes widened and he quickly cleared his throat. “I uh, um. It was just different and they were desperate because I had said to leave you alone.”

“Leave me alone? What are you, a gang?” Sam rested his elbows on his thighs and hung his head down. There had to be an explanation for how insane the entire situation seemed in his mind but he couldn’t really come up with anything that made sense.

Holding a hand up, palm toward Dean, Sam shifted a little. “I need to get out- I need to go home now. You can take me home, okay? I won’t do anything, I won’t - call anyone.” Pushing up to his feet again Sam swayed slightly, sat back down and rubbed at his chest. “Why do I have no shirt?”

“I honestly have no idea. Though I suspect Mary just wanted to touch you,” Dean muttered, rubbing at the place in his chest where the ache had started again. Something about the idea of losing Sam again, Dean hated it. Stepping forward, Dean dropped to his knees and brought his hands up to curve around Sam’s jaw.

“I’m so sorry; they honestly never meant to hurt you. It was, they just wanted me to be happy you see. And I’ve never had to explain all of this to someone. Certainly never someone as important as you.” Dean laughed weakly and pressed forward, holding Sam in place and gently kissing him.

“If it’s what you want I’ll take you home and you’ll never see me again. But, but if you feel the slightest pull toward me... then maybe you can stay, and listen?”

“Listen?” Sam’s lips tingled from the kiss, his head still whirling and he pressed a hand to Dean’s chest then pushed him back slightly as everything started to make more sense. “You _kidnapped_ me,” he said again.

The strangest mixture of thoughts and feelings collided in Sam’s mind. He had wanted nothing more than to see Dean again. When he’d woken the morning following their meeting, his heart had fallen. Something inside him had felt hollow and a little lost at Dean’s absence; and now this?

“You _kidnapped_ me. That’s... you know that’s a crime right?” Adrenaline surged through Sam’s system again and he stood quickly. “Let me go. I mean - let me out. I need to...” The room started fade away, black creeping in from the edges of Sam’s vision and then he felt as though he were floating. His last conscious thought was how gentle Dean’s hands were as he fell against him.

o0o

For a while Dean sat on the edge of the bed holding Sam against him and stroking a hand through his hair. It was strange to feel the waves of peace, comfort, warmth, and then the underlying _ache_ because he knew Sam would still feel the same when he woke. Sam wasn’t going to want him ever again, because Dean was a creature - who _kidnapped_ him even though that had never been his idea.

His chest still tingled with the imprint of Sam’s fingers pushing him away and yet Dean found himself dipping down and gently pressing his lips to the man’s. They were still so soft, still made his body tingle, and Dean was annoyed with himself for feeling so easily caught up in the sensations.

Eventually he knew he couldn’t put off talking to John. They needed to reach a decision about what to do with Sam. And Dean was going to call up the calm that Sam settled over him so he didn’t end up _killing_ the vampire couple that had meant the best but had screwed up royally.

Dean stared at Sam from the door for a few minutes longer before turning and heading up the stairs. Everyone was waiting in the kitchen and Dean nodded at Jo and Nick before turning to look at John. “Come outside with me please,” he said quietly and held a hand up. “Mary, wait here.”

He knew the couple didn’t like to be separated but this was one occasion when Dean needed to speak with John alone. He, of course, cared deeply for Mary but John was still his oldest friend and Dean would always feel more able to be honest with him.

They walked outside and a good ten feet from the house before Dean turned to John, shaking his head. “What were you thinking John? How could you allow this?”

“He’s the one isn’t he? Tell me he’s not, Dean. I can see it in you - you’re different.” John’s hands slid into his hair in a rather frantic looking gesture. “Mary and I - I want you to feel this, to know what it’s like and it’s _clearly_ him.”

It was likely because of Sam’s presence that Dean’s gaze softened, his shoulders slumping in something like defeat. “I know, John. I understand that you want to give me that and _god_ of course I want it. I want _him_. But John, he’s absolutely terrified. And what do I tell him? Oh hey, I’m a vampire and wouldn’t you like to be one too, just because we had one night of fucking hot sex?”

Groaning, Dean paced a few steps away and turned back. “All he knows now is that we’ve kidnapped him. And if I let him go? He’ll head straight for the cops. Even if we leave, Bobby might still be in danger and I _can’t_ put Bobby at risk. You see what I mean? About not thinking this out?”

“We thought...Mary said - you know? You haven’t been all that easy to get along with lately. Do you _know_ how worried Bobby is about you? About what he might have to do if things go sideways?” John followed Dean slowly almost like he was afraid the other vampire was going to bolt.

“Sam is the one and you _fucking_ know it. Just go in there and change him - he’s going to understand as soon as you do that.” John rubbed his beard and kept his gaze locked on Dean’s face.

“I will _not_.” Dean snapped, spinning to John and instantly shoving him back. “I could never do that. Don’t even suggest it.” He’d never shared with John, or anyone for that matter, the circumstances surrounding his own change and he knew the man wouldn’t understand his response without that.

The very thought though, or changing Sam, stealing his life, made Dean a little sick. “I won’t do it without him requesting it. If he wants me then-” Dean sighed and rubbed along the back of his neck. The further he walked away from the house the worst he felt. “I understand Bobby’s worried, it was unfair to ask him to kill me. Should that time come, I will handle the issue myself.”

“And what about us?” John’s voice was louder, thick with emotion. “What about your clan? You made us what we are and we can’t lose you. You have a responsibility to us, to keep us together. If Sam is the one - and you damn well know he is - you need to change him before the curse-” John’s voice broke slightly and he dropped his gaze.

Sometimes Dean didn’t want to be responsible for others, sometimes he thought it would be so much easier for him if had never created this clan. Looking up though, eyes fixing on John, Dean’s chest twinged with guilt and sadness. “I was never given the choice to be a vampire,” he said quietly, turning away from John.

“I was simply with a man and he affected every part of my life. I fell hard and fast for him like I never have with another until...” Well, until Sam. Dean couldn’t deny that. “Well. The last night I was with him, it was as breath taking as ever. Then I woke in the morning, alone, burned by the sun. Shortly after I killed a man, I never knew... no one ever taught me. My life was stolen from me and I can’t steal Sam’s from him.”

John's eyes widened slowly when he looked up. His hand reached out toward Dean and then dropped to his side. "Why...why did you never tell me?"

“I never realized how it would affect me. I may have hated the thing I’d become but I used it to my advantage, as much as I could. Nothing to come from dwelling on the past.” Dean frowned and lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

“You see though? Why I can’t simply change Sam? John, I love you, I love Mary and Bobby, hell, I love the entire clan and I don’t _want_ to leave you all. But sometimes you just can’t control how fate works.”

"Listen to yourself, Dean. When the _hell_ did you give up? Sam is _right_ here and all you have to do is go inside and change him. Tell me, Dean. Is he _not_ your mate? Tell me. Tell me the truth." John's eyes were blazing.

There was no denying the way Sam made him feel, the way Dean ached at just the _thought_ of losing the man. He had never had a soul mate, of course, but he had watched others go through it. Dean’s arms slid across his chest and he shook his head. “Even if he is John, I will not change him. You can make me feel as guilty as you want; this isn’t an issue I’m budging on.”

"Then _I'll_ change him," John yelled. Spinning he strode toward the house, hands clenched into fists at his sides.

Dean moved without thought. He spun and lunged, driving John hard back until the man was pinned against the house, lifted off a foot off the ground, his hand pressing into John’s neck to keep him there. “If you touch him, I will kill you John, do _not_ test me.”

"Dean?" Mary's voice was shaky. The screen door banged shut behind her.

John growled softly, frustrated and tugged at Dean's wrists.

“Promise me you will not touch him.” Dean kept his gaze fixed on John until Mary took a step closer. His gaze whipped toward the girl and his hands on John tightened. “Mary, don’t push me.” He’d never felt such a possessive flare of anger like this one stirred up at the thought of John feeding from Sam, _changing_ him.

John's jaw was clenched tight and he stared into Dean's eyes for a while before saying "I won't touch him."

At once Dean released John, stepping back as Mary rushed forward. He didn’t doubt John’s words, not now the vampire knew just how he felt regarding the subject. “Your disregard for my feelings on this matter, John, is wearing thin.” Dean hardly spoke this formally to his closest friend but he was nearly vibrating with tension. He was actually hurt by the entire thing and he shook his head, turning to walk away from the couple.

"Dean, I- I'm sorry." John rubbed at his throat as Mary curled into his arms. "I just want you to be - to experience this. Just ... talk to him at least?"

Mary reached up to press her fingers gently to John's lips.

“Did you think I hadn’t?” Dean said quietly, staring down at the rocks glinting in moonlight. “He’s scared out of his mind. So much so he passed out after I kissed him.” Dean laughed weakly. “Okay, kissing wasn’t the wisest idea. I hate the idea of keeping him locked up somewhere until he gives in to me.”

Sighing softly, Dean forced himself to turn to the couple and shrugged. “If it makes you feel better, I promise I will consider changing him if he hasn’t asked for it a month before the two hundredth year. I won’t let it come down to the end you’re worrying so much about.” It was the most he could give really.

"It _will_ be fine, Dean. You'll see." John leaned down to kiss Mary's forehead as her fingers brushed gently over his throat.

Dean forced himself to nod, forced himself to smile at the pair. “Right.” He thought about apologizing for his actions but he’d seen John protective over Mary plenty of times in the past. “I guess this means we can’t allow Sam to leave here. He’ll go straight to the cops I’m sure and I had told him Bobby’s name. Go to his home, gather some clothes, I saw a laptop, so grab that and we’ll just make sure he has no internet access.” He felt a little sick talking about how to best please their fucking _hostage_.

"We'll take care of that right away," John said quietly into Mary's hair.

Lips pursing, Dean nodded once more then turned back to the house, walking inside without another word. It seemed like he didn’t have much of a choice but to make Sam fall for him, somehow, and get him to ask to be changed.

The clash of emotions must have shown clearly on his face because Bobby caught his arm as he crossed through the kitchen. “Bobby, I’d really rather not right now,” Dean said quietly, glancing over at Jo and Nick before looking up at Bobby. “Later. Okay?”

Bobby didn’t look pleased but he nodded and released Dean.

Heading back down the stairs, Dean came to a stop just inside the room, afraid to move any closer. Sam stirred and Dean knew he was about to wake again. He half stepped forward, wanting to grab him and hold him close, but stopped when the man’s eyes suddenly opened.

"What do you mean, you're not fucking human?" Sam's thoughts came crashing down on him as he became more alert. The instant the words passed his lips, Sam’s heart rate sped up and his hands started shaking.

Dean blinked, surprised that the man had woken up, instantly speaking as if they were still in the middle of their conversation. “Uh,” he frowned and took a step closer, hesitating there. “You write horror books right? Well, what kind of things happen in them? What... creatures do you have there?”

"Just tell me!" Sam's yell echoed in the high ceiling of the room. In the oppressive silence that followed he sat up, leaning back against the rough wall. Dean's expression was difficult to read - Sam wasn't sure if the man was worried about him, or just worried about the entire situation.

“I’m a vampire,” Dean said quietly, trying to hide his flinch. This wasn’t going to go well, he anticipated Sam freaking out on a completely escalated level. “Maybe you should drink some water.” He headed for the opposite wall where he’d set down the water bottle before.

"You're a what? Jesus," Sam whispered. It was just Sam's luck that he would meet someone who made him feel the way Dean did and then the guy would end up being a complete lunatic. "This is nuts, _you're_ nuts." Flipping the blanket back off the bed, Sam dropped his feet to the floor.

The room was like an over-sized prison cell, the walls were steel or iron and there was nothing in there that looked like it could be used as any kind of weapon. Scooting closer to the edge of the uncomfortable cot, Sam eyed the door. Dean had left it open. Only about fifteen feet of floor was between Sam and the door.

“That would be so much easier if it were true,” Dean sighed and curled his fingers around the water bottle. Usually he wasn’t one for the showing off but in this case he needed Sam to believe him. So, moving faster than Sam could possibly see, Dean darted across the room until he stood beside Sam, holding out the bottle. “However, I’m not.”

Flinching, Sam held up a hand between them then blinked a few times as his mind tried to process what he was seeing. Looking back across the room to where Dean had been standing, Sam's mind flashed back to their night together. Dean's body was so cold, his flesh different - almost _too_ smooth. The pain in his neck...

"God," Sam said. "You just came to find someone at the bar to... to - you. What did you do to me that night?" The feelings that Sam had when he was with Dean; the most he'd felt with anyone was obviously some kind of crazy poison or something. "Did you fucking drink my blood or something?" Sam couldn't even believe he was asking the question.

Dean didn’t like the swell of guilt that crawled up in him and the way Sam looked at him now like he expected Dean to literally be the monster vampires were portrayed to be was making him ache all over again. This was ridiculous. Dean should just let Sam go. The man was _never_ going to fall for him.

Setting the water on the floor beside Sam, Dean stepped back to give him room. “I did drink your blood,” he admitted, biting back the urge to point out that Sam had clearly enjoyed it. “But I didn’t do anything else. I mean, supernatural, anything else. The way you felt, you’re feeling it now even if you don’t want to admit it. Maybe you feel, some sort of pull, a longing, like a part of you is complete even though you never realized it wasn’t. That’s because of... who you’re supposed to be.” Dean wanted to roll his eyes at _himself_.

"Who I'm supposed to be? What?" Sam's eyes darted around the room. "Your prisoner? Your next meal? What?" Folding his arms across his chest protectively he dropped his gaze to the floor. There may be something to what Dean said - the strangest feeling that everything would just be _better_ if he stood and walked over to the man. _The Vampire_. God.

Scoffing in disbelief, Dean actually couldn’t imagine that Sam didn’t feel _anything_ for him. It was actually a little heartbreaking but Dean knew feelings as a human weren’t nearly as intense.

“My soul mate,” Dean mumbled and laughed weakly. “Yeah, I know. It’s... whatever. But it’s what you’re meant to be, I’m meant to change you, you’re supposed to sav-” Dean cut himself off. No, he wasn’t going to tell Sam about the two hundred things, the man had enough to deal with.

“Change me?” Sam’s blood ran a little cold and he rubbed at his arm slowly. “What does that mean? Did you do something to me already?” Unable to resist, Sam reached up to run the pads of his fingers over the mark Dean had left on his neck. “Oh, God.”

“You’re still human.” Dean looked over at Sam, watching the color drain from his face. Sam was so scared, panicky even, and Dean was responsible for it. Hating that feeling, Dean crossed back to him, hesitating before sitting beside Sam and reaching out to take his hand. “I wouldn’t ever hurt you. And I won’t change you; turn you into a vampire I mean, without you wanting it. I care for you Sam, you’re my soul mate.” His voice sounded a little pleading, if only he could get Sam to understand him.

The cool, smooth palm of Dean's hand was soothing, comforting and Sam pulled his hand away reluctantly. "I would never want that - how can someone _want_ that. This is nuts. It's nuts. Completely - and I think that you need to just let me go now." Closing his eyes he pleaded silently to wake up from the nightmare he was obviously having so he could just go on with his day.

“I-” Dean’s voice caught on the word and he looked away, shoulders slumping as he rubbed at his brow. This was such a stupid idea, how could Mary and John actual think that this would work? John’s words _just change him_ echoed through his mind but Dean couldn’t. “I’m sorry, I can’t let you go. It would be putting my clan and my- it would put them at risk, should you report us.” The words were flat to his own ears and he shifted away in hopes Sam’s body wouldn’t be so tense.

Letting out a shaky breath, Sam dropped his arms and gripped the edge of the metal cot. "So...what? You just keep me locked up in this...jail cell and wait until ... what exactly?" Disbelief was still pressing at Sam; there had to be some weird explanation for what was going on. "Jesus _Christ_ ," he murmured. "I fuckin' liked you - I - when you were gone in the morning..." Sam shook his head then slid both hands up into his hair and groaned.

“Well it wasn’t exactly like I could stick around for sunrise or you would have woken with a bed of ashes.” Dean rolled his eyes, shooting his gaze quick toward Sam. “And now what? You can’t fuckin’ like me because I happen to be different? I didn’t hurt you did I? No, I gave you the best fuckin’ night of your life I bet. Even now you could think of it and get hard, even knowing what I am. As for the kidnapping, I’m _sorry_ but I had no idea what they were going to do. I never would have allowed them to harm you or take you away but there’s no changing it now.”

"Did you just _really_ turn this all around and make it sound like I'm just being ungrateful for a good fuck?" Sam's heart was thundering and he gripped the edge of the cot so tightly that his hands ached. Memories curled through his mind like wisps of fog; as soon as he reached for them they were gone. Smooth flesh under his palm, the longing and ache when Dean's mouth moved over his throat.

Dean curled his fingers into fists, trying to remind himself why snapping at Sam would be a bad idea. “No. I didn’t. I’m just pointing it out to you that worrying about me harming you is unnecessary and using the fact that I left before the sunrise to make me feel even worse is a shitty thing to do.”

Frowning, Dean looked over at Sam, staring too long even as his gaze shifted from annoyed to fond and _longing_. “I’m sorry Sam. I know that you’d- that you’ll never want- look, maybe I can-” Dean choked on the words and groaned, looking away.

“I’ll find a way to get you home.” It felt like Dean was stuck between two places, his clan that desperately wanted him to change Sam so he was good to live beyond two hundred and Sam, who wanted nothing more than to be as far from Dean as possible.

"Do I have to stay in here?" Sam dragged a hand down his face and pulled his feet up onto the bed so he could sit cross-legged. "It's cold and... I don't like it." Frowning, he looked over at Dean then looked away when the intensity of the vampire's eyes felt like it would burn right through him.

“Um, no. I guess you could go upstairs if you like.” Dean wondered if it was being in this room or being with _Dean_ that bothered Sam so much. “You could meet Bobby and, everyone. John and Mary went to get you some clothes and stuff.” Dean stood, picking up his coat from the floor where Sam had pushed it earlier. “Would you like to wear this?”

Sam nodded and stood carefully, getting a feel for how strong he was. When he didn't immediately get dizzy again, he reached out for the jacket. The moment his fingers brushed Dean's, Sam felt the slight shiver of pleasure he'd felt when Dean had first touched him. Yanking the coat back Sam swung it over his shoulders and shoved his arms in the sleeves.

A burst of scent washed over Sam and he inhaled deeply. The same scent as _Dean_ , the outdoors, the fresh air...night. Sam's lips twitched into the slightest smile and then he shook his head and pulled the jacket tight around him.

“Okay, well,” Dean said quietly, gesturing toward the door. When Sam didn’t move Dean sighed and went first. “I’m not going to attack you the minute your back is turned,” he grumbled low in his throat, shaking his head as he walked out of the room and headed upstairs.

In the kitchen once more, Dean looked at Bobby. Jo and Nick were MIA and Dean hoped that meant they’d gone off to do some more case work. He felt Sam behind him and he stepped to the side. “Sam, this is Bobby. Bobby, this is Sam as you guessed.” He shot Bobby a quick look, praying the man would say something, _anything_ , to make things better.

“Sam, it’s uh, nice to meet you.” Bobby looked uncomfortable as he tried to smile at Sam.

"You one of the kidnappers?" Sam folded his arms across his chest again and looked around the room. The hallway was just off to the side and Sam could see the front door. He moved his eyes back to Bobby quickly and studied the man's face. Bobby was older than Dean, probably by as much as twenty years; his bushy beard obscured his mouth so Sam wasn't quite sure what the man thought of the situation.

“Well uh,” Bobby had enough grace at least to blush and he pulled his hat off, rubbing his fingers over his scalp. “Not entirely. I’m not a vampire so I wouldn’t have been much help with collecting someone like you.”

“Bobby,” Dean hissed, resisting the urge to slap his palm against his face. “We don’t _collect_ people, Sam, I promise. We’ve never done anything like this before.” And apparently with good reason. “Are you hungry? Bobby’s a great cook, or so I’ve heard.” Dean walked across the kitchen, tugging the fridge open in effort to find something Sam might like to eat.

As soon as Dean's back was turned, Sam bolted into the hallway and it took him about three seconds to get the front door opening before he was leaping down the front stairs and running full tilt across the yard. His bare feet stung as he felt things cutting the flesh but he wasn't going to stop for something like that.

Sighing, Dean straightened up and looked over at Bobby. “You couldn’t have stopped him?” Dean gestured toward the door Sam had just bolted through.

“Oh yeah, _that_ would have gone over well.” Bobby rolled his eyes, leaning back against the counter. It was quiet for a few moments until Bobby cleared his throat. “Oh come on Dean, kid’s probably splitting his feet open out there.”

“Vampire. I like blood.” Dean scowled before taking off out of the house.

It hardly took him a minute to catch up with Sam, even if his impossibly long legs were carrying him quite quickly through the junkyard. Dean slammed hard into Sam’s back with enough force he was thankfully able to twist them enough so he collapsed down onto the stretch of grass near the metal fence. He held Sam down easily, a soft growl falling from him. “Did you honestly think you’d get away?”

Sam wasn't sure if it was the weight of Dean's body pressing down on him or the low resonating rumble of his voice but his body felt like someone had lit a fire under it. Heat sped through him even as he struggled against Dean's firm grip around each of his wrists.

Jaw set stubbornly, Sam panted as he stared up at Dean. He spoke through gritted teeth. "Did you really think I wouldn't try?"

Bucking his hips up, Sam was barely able to accomplished much more than sending another flash of heat racing through his body. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck and trickling over his cheeks and turned his head to the side quickly.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t.” Dean half shrugged and rolled his own hips down against Sam. “Truthfully, it’s kind of hot now.” He smirked and pressed Sam’s hand harder back down when the man tried to jerk free. “Sam, dude, fucking vampire. You’re not getting free. Stop fighting and I’ll let you up.” Maybe. After all, Dean could quite comfortably sit out here on Sam’s body for the rest of the night.

Biting down hard on his bottom lip, Sam grunted as he tried to move his arms but Dean's grip was unbreakable. The worst part - beyond the ache in his feet and the numb sensation that still lurked in his mind was the fact that he could feel his cock start to twitch. _So_ wrong, and yet, it was like all the memories from their night together just burst into Sam's mind again. "Get _off_ me," he growled. Twisting his hips was a mistake and Sam let out a small involuntary moan.

It was oddly thrilling to know Sam still felt pleasure here, even if he was fighting it as hard as he could. “Sam,” he breathed and dipped down, nose running along Sam’s cheek. “Let yourself feel it. What harm could there be? You know I won’t hurt you, that I would kill anyone who tried.” He listened to Sam’s derisive scoff and tilted his head so his lips brushed the corner of Sam’s. “You _know_ it. Deep down. I know you have to feel it.”

Sam's fingers curled into his palms as he strained against Dean's grip. It took every bit of willpower Sam had not to turn into the kiss; _fuck_ , he knew exactly how good it would be. Biting down even harder on his bottom lip he felt a sting as he drew blood. Dean's breath was cool against Sam's cheek and he arched up slightly to press his half hard cock against Dean's firm body.

Drawing back slowly, Dean’s eyes fixed almost instantly on the smear of blood on Sam’s lower lip. The coppery crimson pooled slowly, a bead forming along Sam’s lip and Dean’s nostrils flared. The scent hit him next, seemingly brighter, sharper than before. Dean knew just how it would taste, and _god_ he wanted that.

Simple logic. Sam was bleeding, Dean could make him stop bleeding and maybe ease some of the intense pulsing desire as well. He leaned down once more, tongue sliding out and moving over the blood. He moaned as the taste exploded on his tongue and licked a little firmer, knowing his saliva would work to heal the wound as it did when he bit. His hips rolled down against Sam’s as his tongue traced slowly along Sam’s bottom lip.

Sam was trembling; heart skittering around in his chest and he panted softly against Dean's lips. His lashes fluttered closed and for a few moments he stopped struggling. Desire coursed through him, nudging away all the feelings of fear and confusion. Drawing up one leg, he planted his foot on the ground and pressed his thigh firmly against Dean's hip. "Dean," Sam whispered. "I-"

Sam's body jolted. He was _not_ going to fall for that again. Twisting his head away from the vampire's lips he moaned and arched up again. "Let me go, this isn't ... this isn't fair."

Dean’s head dropped down to Sam’s neck as he exhaled shakily. He’d been so _close_ , he’d thought Sam was finally going to shake free of the things holding him back. Then it was all back to the beginning and as his lips pressed to Sam’s neck Dean could feel him tense as if he expected Dean to simply feed from him.

He wanted to prove to Sam that he wouldn’t, that he wasn’t a monster like that, so he pushed back and stood, grabbing Sam and tugging him up into his arms. Before the man could protest he ran across the lot, stopping at Bobby’s front step and gingerly setting the man down. “Are your feet badly hurt? May I look at them?” He asked as he held the door open and gestured for Sam to go first.

Sam limped over the threshold and headed over to the couch. "I'm fine," he muttered. He was already looking around to see if there were any shoes near the door; a closet where he might find some.

Sighing, Dean ran a hand back through his hair and followed Sam inside, shutting the door behind him. “Sam? Please let me help you. You’re bleeding and you’re in a house of vampires.” In a flash he was in the bathroom grabbing a wet rag and two ace bandages then back in the living room, kneeling in front of Sam. “You’re in pain, please let me help.” Dean reached out and loosely curled his fingers over Sam’s ankle, waiting to see if he’d pull away.

"A house full? You said -Is Bobby one? How many of you ... Vampires are there?" Sam tried to keep his focus on anything other than Dean's touch but it was difficult. Regardless of how confused Sam was he wasn't going to get remotely close to escaping with his feet all torn up.

“Bobby isn’t one, he wasn’t lying about that.” Dean shook his head, stalling as he wiped along Sam’s feet. As he began to wrap one foot in the bandage he finally sighed and shrugged. “Including me, there are five in this house. They’re all out, doing things. My clan is much larger however but you won’t have to meet them.” _Unless you let me change you._ Dean didn’t add that bit on though, he really didn’t want to be the one caused Sam even _more_ unpleasant thoughts.

"Did you make them all vampires?". Sam could see Bobby hovering by the entrance to the kitchen. The house was nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that there seemed to be books on nearly every flat surface and Sam kept taking it all in.

“No,” Dean murmured as he finished wrapping Sam’s second food, fingers gently massaging over his ankles. “I have never made anyone a vampire. Most vampires don’t really, if they are a darker, not as good as my clan, they might change people. When that happens, I find the new vampires; give them a chance to be helpful. Most of us only perform the change on our mates.”

Sam shifted back a little on the couch and his eyes settled on dean once more. "You all kidnap people and then make them your mates?" Sam raised his eyebrows slightly and watched Dean's expression darken.

Curling his fingers slowly together Dean stood and shook his head. “No. On most occasions when the vampire is certain they have found their mate they change him or her. Then the person is able to feel as vampires do and they see why it is so important. So special.”

Sam frowned. "People just agree to that? To be changed?" He found it a little hard to believe that anyone would just be okay with someone offering to change their lives on such a monumental way. "What? You just walk up to someone, introduce yourself and when you feel this special feeling you just make them ... one?"

“I don’t just do anything. I’ve never done this before. But in most situations I’ve seen the vampires have run into their mates as they have been hunting. The desire is very intense.” Dean frowned as Sam was, knowing the man would probably think even worse of all of them by hearing this.

“Trying to explain it however is complicated. As you can see. If every vampire used my methods then there would be a lot more crazies out there.” That just slipped out, Dean hadn’t meant to say it. “Are you hungry?”

Shaking his head Sam kept his gaze on Dean. He was unsettled. Sam was strong, and big, he knew that. And his entire life he hadn’t really ever had to worry about people being able to take him on. Dean was more than capable and a hell of a lot stronger than Sam and it was disconcerting. “Crazy? Why...who’s crazy?” For an instant his eyes flicked over to Bobby as the man disappeared back into the kitchen.

“No one you have to worry about.” Dean shook his head, mentally telling himself to _shut up_. “Listen, this is, I know how much all of this is to take in and I don’t want to overload you anymore. Would you like to see the room you can stay in? I swear it’s not the room in the basement.”

"Stay in?" Sam laughed humorlessly. "A guest?" Pushing up he winced as he stepped forward and waited for Dean to show him the way. If there was a window, he was going _out_ it at the first possible moment.


	3. Chapter 3

“And where are you going to sleep?” Bobby asked from Dean’s side, watching as Dean pulled sandwich stuff from the fridge.

Sighing, Dean lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “Panic room I guess.”

He didn’t want Sam to be stuck down there, the man didn’t deserve that. Especially not when they were responsible for him being a _guest_. When _he_ was responsible for it. When Bobby continued to simply stare at him, Dean’s brows lifted. “Something you wanna say?”

“You know this would be so much easier if you just changed the boy. Then you wouldn’t look like he was stabbing you in the gut every time his mouth opened and he didn’t confess to being madly in love with you.”

Dean rolled his eyes, spreading mustard and mayonnaise on the bread. “What is it with the lot of you and thinking taking away someone’s life is the right thing to do? You’ve seen him Bobby, he’s terrified. Of me, of vampires, this entire thing. He flat out said there is no way he would _ever_ consider being a vampire. So the way I see it, we relocate you, then we disappear. I know this is your home but then we could let Sam go and no one will get hurt.”

Frowning, Bobby shook his head. “And what? You just give up?”

“Would everyone just give me a break for one damn minute? Fuck.” Dean finished the sandwich and he threw everything back into the fridge before grabbing a beer. “Look Bobby, I can only do so much and changing Sam without him wanting it? That’s not one of those things. So unless you magically know how to talk him into it, that’s the best I’ve got.”

Before Bobby could say more Dean snatched up the sandwich and beer and carried it upstairs to the room he’d previously been occupied. Sam was staring at the window and Dean cleared his throat before walking to the desk and setting the plate and beer down. “It’s covered to keep out the sun. But you can pull the shutters back if you want, you know, to get some sun.” So _casual_ was his new technique, he didn’t think it would last long.

Sam wasn’t surprised by Dean’s presence. He’d been looking at the window for a while, there was a small gap down the side and he figured if he waited for the right moment he could get out of it and manage a drop to the veranda room without killing himself. From there it was an easy drop to the ground of less than ten feet.

As soon as he had heard footsteps on the stairs Sam had backed up to sit down on the bed so he was prepared. “What? Sun doesn’t burn you?”

“It does, of course. So I will be hiding from it.” Dean shrugged, taking a step back and sliding his arms across his chest. “‘Nother few hours ‘til sunrise anyway.” He looked over at the window then back at Sam, uncertain if he should leave or stay.

"What time is it?" Sam had lost all grasp on what time of day or night it was since he'd been removed from his home. There were some parts of the last day or so he couldn't remember at all. "I can't remember...some things."

“It’s just after three.” Lips pursing, Dean half stepped back again. “What do you mean you can’t remember some things? Like what? From when they took you?”

“Yeah, my memory... did you drug me?” Sam swept his hair back off his forehead and leaned back against the head board. Staring over at Dean he made sure that Dean was watching him move and then flexed his muscles slightly. If the vampire's weakness was _him_ then Sam was going to do his best to provide a distraction.

Dean stared at Sam, watching the way his skin moved, the jump in his pulse that Sam was likely completely unaware of. His tongue slid over his lips, eyes lingering on Sam’s neck for a long time until his gaze finally met Sam’s then he turned away, guilt crawling through him. “I swear I had no idea what they were doing. If I had known... Sam, I wouldn’t have let them.”

"Yeah - kind of ruins the flavor I guess." Sam gestured at his neck and rubbed at the mark Dean had left there. Tilting his head to the side Sam stared over at Dean. "When you drank from me... it didn't hurt. Why?"

“Did you just suggest that I wouldn’t have let them drug you because it _ruins your blood_?” Dean took another step back, his body hitting the door frame. He ignored the other question, possibly because what Sam was implying was oddly more hurtful than anything he’d said thus far.

"Don't go," Sam said quickly. Dropping his feet to the floor he smiled slightly. "I'm goin' crazy up here by myself. Stay for a bit?"

Dean’s brows lifted, his arms slowly unfolding to drop at his sides. “You don’t want me here,” he stated simply, even as he took a step toward Sam. “And you didn’t answer my question.”

Sam stared into those dark green eyes for a long while - trying to get a handle on what the vampire was thinking. The way Sam had it figured Dean was the only person in the house that was likely to have a bit of a weakness as far as he was concerned. "What question?" Sam stalled and licked his lips.

“I asked if you were implying that the reason I wouldn’t let them drug you was because it affected your blood.” Dean watched Sam’s tongue move across his lips once more and he took another step closer. It was so easy to picture Sam’s body beneath him, to remember the taste of him, and _god_ Dean wanted him.

"I - no. I don't know..." Sam shifted and pulled one leg up onto the bed. He frowned and tried to ignore the fact that he actually felt a little guilty for saying it. "You don't seem like you'd do that," Sam admitted softly. Dropping his gaze, Sam took a deep breath. Three feet away from Dean and Sam could _still_ feel the pull of the man.

“No, I wouldn’t. Not when it came to you,” Dean murmured and took another step closer. Another, until his shins were resting against the edge of the bed. “I wouldn’t have even let them kidnap you. Honestly, I’m a little pissed at them, but well, they just felt like they didn’t have an option.”

 _Didn't have an option._ The writer in Sam perked up at the words Dean chose. Taking a deep breath he shifted enough that his foot rested against Dean's leg slightly. "Why? Why no option?"

“It’s...” Dean sighed and rubbed his fingers along the back of his neck. “Just the way they think sometimes.” He looked away, hating even just the slightest lie to Sam. His hand dropped down and came to rest over Sam’s foot. “Still not hungry? I would have thought you’d be starving.” It might have been a while since Dean was human but he still got hungry quite often, seemed like it would be the same for Sam.

"Maybe, I guess. Was busy thinking about other things, you know, like what you're gonna do to me." Sam's eyes moved down along Dean's arm to his fingers and watched the gentle way they grazed over the bandages. "You like touching me," he said quietly when he looked back up.

“Makes me feel better.” Dean nodded and moved his hand along Sam’s ankle, sliding up the front of his calf then stopping as he realized he was basically caressing the man. Clearing his throat, he slid his hand back down Sam’s leg and let his fingertips hover just over his bandages. “Does it... do you feel anything? When I touch you?”

The truth was, for some stupid reason, Sam felt safer when Dean was touching him than he could remember feeling in a very long time. The other truth Sam was in _no_ way prepared for was that Dean's touch was like fire. Ice cold as the man's flesh was, Sam felt every touch like he was drowning in pleasure. "I... it...I feel things," he muttered reluctantly.

“I’m not going to do anything to you,” Dean whispered and shifting around to the side of the bed, letting his fingers move up Sam’s calf, over his knee, stopping at his thigh. It was just barely a touch Dean knew but he could see what looked like heat growing on Sam’s cheeks. “Your body was meant for this,” Dean murmured, looking up from Sam’s lap to his eyes. “That’s why it doesn’t hurt. When I bit you. Well, that and I know how to make it feel good.” He laughed softly, shaking his head at his cheesy words.

"The other night felt good," Sam agreed. Dropping his head back a little he gasped when his eyes met Dean's. The vampire was still stunning, he'd been gorgeous enough at the club but with his eyes darkened, the gentle expression on his face he was beautiful.

Opening and closing his mouth a couple of times Sam swallowed and tried to focus on getting more information from Dean. "M-Made for you? Or made for this in general?"

“Me.” Dean sat beside Sam on the bed, his thigh pressing against Sam’s. A soft smile was on his lips and he swallowed thickly then reached out, tucking Sam’s hair behind his ear. He felt like he was finally being given a chance and he certainly was going to take advantage of it. “You were made for me, according to the lore about soul mates.”

"Can you tell me about it? I mean..are you allowed?" Sam wasn't sure if there were some crazy _vampire_ laws that would mean his head had to be chopped off or something if he learned any details. Taking a chance he leaned a little closer and pressed his shoulder against Dean's for a few moments. "Long as you don't have to kill me or something if you let me know the secrets." He looked up and smiled so Dean would know he was teasing.

Dean had no idea how things had gone for tense to teasing but he wasn’t complaining about it. “No, not gonna be forced to kill you.” He wet his lips and shrugged. “There’s only so much we know. Just that every vampire has a soul mate, their equilibrium in a way. I don’t know why there’s the pull, I don’t know what makes one particular person better than the other. All I know is I’ve been on this Earth a long time. I’ve seen and felt a lot of things, and it’s never felt like this,” His fingers touched Sam’s cheek and he leaned forward, not quite realizing what he was doing until his lips were touching Sam’s.

Sam's hand lifted, and he pressed it against Dean's chest then as soon as he felt those full lips pulling away he tightened his hand on the man's shirt. He could spend the entire night telling himself that he held Dean there because he wanted to convince the vampire that he trusted him - but there was so much more.

Sam's entire body was trembling and it felt like the temperature in the room was rising even as those cool, soothing lips brushed against his so softly. Sucking in a shuddering breath, Sam spoke softly against the man's lips. "I ... I felt that."

Chuckling softly, Dean nodded just barely and let his tongue move along Sam’s lips. “So did I,” he breathed and tilted his head toward the man’s so their foreheads rested together. “So, there’s this thing between us, and I can’t explain all the details but I’ve never...” Dean sighed and pulled back slightly, staring at Sam. “Just not used to it. I’m normally not so, sappy. And romantic.”

"You've never what?" Sam asked quietly. His grip on Dean's shirt tightened and he closed his eyes against the swell of desire that was burning through him.

“Never felt anything like this.” Dean frowned slightly, fingers curving over Sam’s arm and running up than slipping back into his hair. “You live long enough you just stop thinking there could be anyone.” Dean laughed weakly, fingers once more sliding down and pausing over the pulse in Sam’s neck. “Met a lot of people, probably stopped believing.” Then he was moving forward and capturing Sam’s lips again once more, because it was really the only thing he could think about doing.

A cool shiver slid down Sam's back and he pressed forward slightly into the kiss before pulling away to suck in a breath. "I can't... this is - it's like you're-" Shaking his head Sam closed his eyes and tried to remind himself that two days ago he'd been happily settled at his desk writing and _now_ he was being held prisoner. "Let me go," he whispered against Dean's ear.

Hands slowly pulling back, Dean slid to the edge of the bed and stood, staring at the wood shutter that would block the sun in the morning. “As soon as I figure out a way to make sure everyone remains safe, you and my clan and Bobby, then I will,” he said flatly, and closed his eyes for a moment. “I promise, Sam, as soon as I can do that.”

Sam's hand lifted to reach out for Dean then dropped to his lap. "Where are you going? Don't go yet." Sam stood and took a step closer to Dean. "Just stay for a little while longer."

“God, what is it you want?” Dean asked, his voice sounding much weaker than he meant it to. “I just- I don’t understand. I’m trying to do what you want but it’s like, one minute you want me here and the next you’re asking me to let you go. I swear all I want to do is make you happy.” Dean turned to him, reaching out to snag his hand and pull him in close.

Sam had no intention of falling against Dean the way he did, nor did he expect himself to moan. His mind was whirling again and he lost his battle with trying to _scheme_ and plot. Panting against Dean's cheek, Sam slid a hand down the man's side then squeezed his thigh. "It's hard to ... not touch you," he whispered.

“It’s kind of a little hard not to give in and touch you,” Dean admitted with a soft laugh. His eyes fluttered closed at Sam’s haunting touches and Dean wet his lips, pulling Sam upright so their gazes could lock. “Would it really be so bad? Being with me? Living forever? What you’re feeling right now? It’s a thousand times more intense as a vampire. I could show you everything.” Dean was nearly pleading as his hand stroked back through Sam’s hair, free fingers curving around the side of his neck.

What Sam was _feeling_ was the strongest desire to be touched by someone he'd ever felt - and yet - nipping at the edges of his pleasure was the unpleasant reminder that he was being held against his will. Tilting his head, Sam leaned against Dean's hand _knowing_ he was exposing his neck to the vampire's lips. "Did you choose this?"

Swallowing, Dean let his nose run over Sam’s neck, his voice low and quiet. “Doesn’t matter about me. All that matters is you.”

"Wanna know," Sam whispered. His hand slid back up over Dean's hip and under the hem of his shirt. Cold smooth skin passed under his palm and he felt Dean shake slightly. "How did this happen to you?" Sam arched his back slightly and pressed his hips forward. Much as he wanted answers to his questions, he wanted to feel _everything_ again.

Torn between the two feelings, Dean shook his head and moaned, moving toward Sam like he was drawn to him. And he was. “I-” He moaned softly and his lips ran over Sam’s neck. “No, it wasn’t by choice,” he whispered and slid his free arm around Sam, pressing his fingers flat against the man’s back and drawing him in.

“Tell me,” Sam said in a hushed voice. Sliding his free hand up Dean’s arm, he curled his fingers into the vampire’s hair and pressed him harder into his own neck. “You can...” he whispered and the tendrils of fear were back, tangling with his lust and making his knees weaken slightly.

Inhaling slowly, Dean savored the scent of Sam and parted his lips, dragging his teeth over the man’s skin. “It doesn’t matter,” he murmured, just barely nicking the skin and lapping at the tiny beads of blood that appeared there. “Just that it wasn’t by choice. It’ll be different for you, I swear.” He pressed Sam tighter against him, lost in the heat of the man’s body.

Sam's heart was beating loud and fast. He _knew_ what Dean was doing, felt the same shimmering pleasure as it swept down his body after the slightly tug at his skin. He _knew_ and he didn't stop Dean; he pulled him closer. "It's okay, you can... you can-“ A moan slipped past his lips at the next brush of Dean's lips and Sam's entire body felt alive.

“What? What can I do?” Dean breathed and slipped his hand up under Sam’s shirt, finger tips running over the man’s burning hot skin. He was completely shocked really that they were like this once more, certain that Sam was going to realize what he was doing and step away at any minute, but he would take what he could get.

"Drink... if you want. I won't fight you. Just don't-" Sam stopped short, not wanting to say the words. Fiction writer or not he found it difficult to believe the world he was suddenly immersed in.

The truth was that Sam couldn't really imagine pulling back from Dean; he knew - _fuck_ \- he knew he was being held there against his will but there was something between them. Tangible and heady; the bond between them wasn't something that Dean was making up.

“Do you want it?” Dean whispered though he wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. After all, he’d fed from the man before and not gotten permission. And if Sam couldn’t say he wanted it, Dean would lose this.

So he sank his teeth forward before Sam could answer. His hand pressed flush and hard against the man’s back, holding him impossibly close as he drank from Sam in long, deep pulls. The man’s blood was rich and sparking across his tongue and Dean couldn’t get enough.

Sam felt each draw on his vein, each sucking pull of Dean's mouth against him. His hand tightened to a fist in Dean's hair as his chest heaved. Somehow all the air had drained out of the room and Sam was just breathing _Dean_. A warm trickle of his own blood was creeping down his neck and Sam shivered. “Dean...”

Pressing in harder, Dean knew just how to drink without taking too much but getting the pleasure from it as well. Sam was moving in to him maybe without realizing and Dean loved that, and the soft moans, and the way the man was letting Dean just hold him up. His hand slid down between their bodies, fingers curling over Sam’s crotch and slowly massaging.

Sam gasped as his hips rocked forward into Dean's touch. So hard he ached, Sam could only just managed to keep breathing. He was sure he could feel the beat of his heart starting to match the rhythm of Dean's mouth. When he opened his eyes the room swam in front of him and he dug his nails into Dean's side, holding on.

Just as Dean was about to pull back there was a tap at the door that interrupted him. He pulled back, looking over at the door and clearing his throat to try and clear out some of the deep arousal. “Yeah?”

“Dean, ‘bout sunrise,” Bobby called through the door, sounding nervous.

Likely because Dean hadn’t come down after giving Sam the food, maybe Bobby was thinking the wrong thing. “Okay, I’ll be down in a few,” he called then turned back to Sam, smiling slightly as he loosened his hold on the man.

Sam wasn't prepared for the sight of blood on Dean's lips, coloring his teeth, the smile completing the macabre picture. "God," Sam whispered. "What the fuck am I doing?"

Shaking off Dean's hand, Sam staggered back a few steps he shook his head and sank down heavily onto the bed. There was no way he could tear his gaze from the blood staining Dean's lips. "Get out."

The sudden cool had never felt harsher to Dean and he frowned, wiping the back of his hand over his lips. “Sam? What- I thought- you liked it. Your body was...” He was confused, maybe a little hurt, and he stepped toward Sam thinking he could fix things somehow.

"Just leave, you're - you're making me feel this - like this." Sam's head ached and he rubbed at the wound on his neck. It was still bleeding slightly, he could feel the warmth trickling down his throat and wiped at it. He had to get out of there - not matter how _good_ it felt to be near Dean the fact remained that the _man_ wasn't a man at all. "Just, leave me alone. If I gotta fucking stay here - I don't have to ... just go."

“Oh,” Dean whispered and stepped back, turning for the door. “You had to feel-” He stopped at the door and turned back to Sam, sucking in an un-needed breath. “Sam, please, don’t hate me.” His chest tightened and his hand held tight to the door knob. “I won’t touch- I promise I won’t- just, don’t hate me.”

"Leave me alone!" Sam pushed up from the bed again and reached out to knock the lamp across the room. He _hated_ himself for still wanting Dean, for caring that a _vampire_ looked like he was hurt. It was all so fucked up that Sam couldn't even understand what was going on.

It hadn’t happened in so many years Dean didn’t even realize it could still, but sharp tears pricked at his eyes and Dean dipped his head in a slow nod before turning back to the hallway. “Sorry,” he said quietly then forced himself forward, leaving the room before he could hear anything else that could make his body ache.

At the bottom of the stairs he descended too quickly his shoulder connected hard with John and Dean pushed back from the vampire, connecting with the hall table instead. “Fuck,” he slammed his palm hard down on the table, body still humming from Sam’s blood pulsing through him. “Figure out a way Sam can get home,” he said quietly, nearly a hiss. “No matter what it takes. He doesn’t want to be here.”

“What?” John stepped closer to Dean as Mary came around the corner from the kitchen. “Dean? He doesn’t understand yet...what happened?”

“He doesn’t want me, John, let it go.” Dean knocked the vampire’s hand away. He turned his gaze up, fixing his eyes on John’s even though his gaze was blurred with tears. “I’m sorry. I tried. I’ll make sure Bobby doesn’t have to- I’ll take care of it. But trust me; Sam will never want me like that.”

"I'm gonna make _sure_ he understands." John whirled and headed up the stairs.

In a flash Dean was moving, grabbing John’s arm and tugging him back. “Trust me, John, he wants to see you even less than he wants to see me and that’s saying something. What did you expect? You kidnapped him from his home, drugged him, and then I had to get all caught up and fe-” Dean groaned and released John, rubbing at his eyes. “Leave him alone, it’s his life, he has every right to say no.”

"This is ridiculous." John huffed and shoved at Dean's shoulder. "Get up there and change him. I don't fucking understand you. You _know_ it's him. You _know_ it and whether or not he's too stupid to admit it - you know that he feels it too. Just go up there and do it." John threw his hands out to the side and glared at Dean.

"You owe it to us - to ... to ... you _can't_ leave us! You know what? Fuck you, Dean. Fuck you for making me believe in this _family_ you claim we are, and letting me take Mary so you can just... “John sucked in a quick breath and shoved past Dean to head back down into the living room.

Dean was rooted to the spot, caught between one place and another. If he changed Sam now, who was to say the man wouldn’t wake up as a vampire and hate him even more? And at this point, how could he possibly even get close to Sam without the man losing it? Dean knew John was upset, hell, _he_ was upset about the entire thing, but what choice did he have.

Gaze settling on Mary, Dean sighed and gestured toward her. “Would you like to point out what an ass I am for not forcefully taking the life of the man I might love?”

Shaking her head, Mary leaned against the wall and stared up at Dean. "I understand. You probably love him already - I remember the feeling." Smiling slightly, Mary moved up the stairs quietly and lowered her voice. "John's terrified to lose you Dean. You're ... everything to him. He looks up to you - and he wants you to be happy. The thought of losing you - for all of us - it's frightening."

“I can’t force Sam into this,” Dean whispered, curling his fingers into tight fists at his side. He blinked over at Mary and shook his head. “I don’t want to leave you guys, trust me I don’t, but what if I turn him now and he hates me for it? I might love him now but I can guarantee he doesn’t love me.” Dean looked up the stairs and his chest tightened even further.

Mary did something she rarely chanced and stepped forward to slip her arms around Dean's neck and pull him into her. "Dean, you need to rest and we'll try and figure out what to do." Her hand settled on the back of Dean's neck, fingers moving gently.

Only slightly surprised, Dean hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Mary and turning to kiss the side of her temple. “Don’t let John touch him Mary. You know I won’t be able- I can’t handle that.” Being put between Sam and John even at this point felt like too much, Dean didn’t want to push it.

Stepping back, he smiled briefly at the girl. “I’m taking the panic room since he’s up in mine. You- tell John-” Dean sighed and shook his head. There wasn’t really much he could tell John.

"Dean, John knows. He really does understand more than you think." Mary smiled sadly and reached up to brush a strand of hair back of Dean's forehead. "And he won't touch Sam, none of us will. We know what he means to you. Go and rest, we'll figure out how to get Sam home tomorrow if that's what you want."

“It’s not about what I want. It’s what Sam wants.” Dean shrugged, giving her a last brief smile before turning to head down the hall. He looked into the living room at John there but he didn’t stop. Sam’s blood was still coursing through him and even though every part of Dean ached as he heard the man’s _leave me alone_ , he thought he would at least find some sleep over the course of the day.

As soon as Dean was gone, the fight went out of Sam like it was just yanked out of him and he sank back down onto bed. It was starting to feel like he was losing his mind. Slowly but surely things were getting more and more twisted up inside him and the things he was so sure of earlier... he just wasn't certain of anymore.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, drained and defeated before he thought he heard something. Looking up he tilted his head and concentrated. There was another quiet knock on the door. "Uh... hello?"

"Sam? It's Mary. Can I come in?"

Sam blinked and stared at the door with his mouth open for the span of a few heartbeats. "Well, I can't come out there," he answered back finally.

The door knob turned and the door opened slowly and a small women stepped into the room. "I'm Mary," she said quietly.

The woman was slight; her long blonde hair was smooth and shining in the light from the hallway and hung down over her shoulders almost like a veil.

"Sam, but I guess you already know that." Sam gestured at the lamp on the floor. "Sorry about the dark I got - I was pissed off."

"I heard," Mary said. Walking over to the far side of the room she perched on the edge of the chair there and smoothed her hands on her jeans. "I'm John's ... partner. Like you probably were meant to be for Dean."

"I don't think I'm meant to be anything... I just - are you one of the ones who kidnapped me?" Sam tilted his head.

Shrugging apologetically, Mary half-smiled. "Guilty. We thought - well, _I_ thought it was a good idea. Although, looking back-" She shook her head and Sam watched as her hair cascaded forward over her shoulders.

"Not such a good idea," Sam agreed.

"Listen Sam. Dean had nothing to do with this. He just - when he came back after spending the night with you I knew he'd met you - met his _one_. You know how you can see that on people's faces?"

"You're not people," Sam said softly. There was something sweet about the woman and if it weren't for the fact that Sam knew _what_ she was he would find it hard to dislike her.

"I was just like you, Sam. I met John, had a great night with him and woke up - wow - woke up like this I guess. It was kind of a blur of pleasure and fear, a little pain and a hell of lot of ... well." Mary blew out a breath and leaned forward on the chair. "I just - I wanted you to know that Dean didn't want this. He wasn't even going to go back and see you again - as good as you make him feel - he was going to just drive away."

"It's not like I'm the only guy in the world," Sam muttered. He was starting to find it a little ironic that in a house full of vampires he kept finding himself feeling guilty.

Mary pressed her lips together and nodded sadly. Standing she walked back toward the door turning at the last moment to smile over her shoulder at Sam. "I know you can feel it, Sam. I felt it when John found me. I see it on both of your faces - the way you ... anyway. The fact that you're here and not at home wondering whatever happened to that handsome Dean fellow? That's all my fault. Don't take it out on Dean. He's downstairs right now trying to figure out how to get you back home even though it's gonna break his heart and put everyone he cares about at risk. Just remember that."

Sam frowned. "I - I don't ..this isn't about me. You _kidnapped_ me. Somewhere in your mind - if you were like me - you must understand that."

Smiling again Mary shrugged a shoulder and headed out into the hall and closed the door behind her.

The door snicked shut and Sam just stared at it. It was kind of like being thrown into a movie he didn't have the script for. Everyone seemed to understand things he didn't - and everyone also seemed to think that being kidnapped was _okay_. Shaking his head, Sam stood and paced over to the window. The sun was finally visible above the horizon and that was all the encouragement that Sam needed.

As quietly as he could Sam pulled the shutters open and flicked the lock back on the window. It slid up with surprising ease and Sam took a quick look around before swinging one leg over the window sill and climbing out. He was right. The drop to the veranda roof was short and Sam managed to sit down and slide quietly to the eaves. Rolling over onto his belly he wriggled back until he could drop his legs over the edge.

The debris in the gutter scratched his chest and Sam hissed quietly and he hauled his body back until he was hanging down by his hands. Without glancing down he dropped to the soft ground below. Pain lanced up his legs from the wounds on his feet and he paused for a few moments, bracing himself as he crouched near the house.

“I had a hunch you might try something like this.” Bobby’s voice broke the early morning silence, a slight smirk on his lips as his fingers curled over the shot gun in his hands. “Best get back inside boy, not time for you to go just yet.”

"You're not gonna shoot me," Sam said defiantly. Pushing up to his full height he tried not to wince as he had to put all his weight on his feet. _Bobby_ , the one who wasn't a vampire - and certainly not the strongest of them.

“You don’t think so huh?” Bobby quirked an eyebrow and cocked the weapon, shifting so his stance stiffened. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re human. You’re not like them.” Sam shifted back a step, closer to the house and his eyes darted over to the road to judge how fast he could move past the older man. _Not_ fast enough, he was certain, to outrun a shotgun.

Bobby’s brows drew together, his lips thinning out. “Are you sayin’ they’d shoot you then? No qualms about it? Sam, you’ve sure got a warped perception of those vampires.”

“Am I the only sane person here?” Sam threw his hands up. “They kidnapped me - and Dean...Dean drank my blood -there was blood on his face...” Even thinking about it made Sam’s stomach do a strange flip. The most disturbing part was that he wasn’t sure if it was because he felt disgusted or turned on.

“You tellin’ me you didn’t let him? Because I’ve known Dean since I was a boy and outside hunting, he’s never forced anything from anyone.” Bobby sighed and gestured with the barrel of the shotgun to the front door. “Look, Sam, why don’t you come on in and I can give you a better picture of the vampire’s you seem to think are so bad.”

“Kinda hard to say no when you have a shot gun pointed at my chest,” Sam muttered. But he turned because part of him was curious about what Bobby might have to say. The tinge of guilt was there again too - he knew damn well that Dean hadn’t _taken_ his blood. Sam had offered it willingly even if he _did_ think it was because of some kind of crazy power Dean had over him.

Bobby let Sam go first, only stepping around him when they entered into the kitchen. He fixed them both up a cup of coffee, setting cream and sugar on the table. “Only bad thing I could possibly say about that lot is I seem to get a lot less sleep when they’re in town. And I drink a lot more coffee.” He dropped onto the nearest chair and pushing at the chair across from him. “Take a seat.”

Sighing, Sam sat down and ran a hand through his hair. "Can I shower after you enlighten me?"

Bobby rolled his eyes and set the shotgun down between them in the middle of the table. “You know, I fuckin’ get why you’re pissed Sam. Hell, I should have stopped those two when they came up with this idea to take you in the first place. But damnit, Dean is the most important person in the world to me and I’ve never seen him look more wrecked than the way you’re makin’ him. Would it kill you to just hear the guy out?”

“I heard him out,” Sam protested. “I’m his _soul mate_ and I’m supposed to just ask him to change me like it’s the easiest thing in the world. But I - I have a life and I don’t even _know_ him. I feel like I’m going crazy! I picked the guy up in a bar and we had a great night and now - this.”

Bobby stared at Sam for a few moments then spoke softly. “When I was a kid, I was sleepin’ safe and sound in my bed when some guys broke in and suddenly my mom and dad were demon suits and I was being raised by a vampire. Didn’t have much a choice. Welcome to the real world Sam, shit happens and sometimes it sucks, though in your case you’re being offered an eternal life with a man who will be the most loyal, loving man you could possibly imagine.” Bobby scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I can see how that must be real frustrating for you.”

“You what? Wait - back up - demons?” Sam leaned forward and wrapped his hands around his mug. “Raised by who?” Sam frowned. Since the moment he’d met Dean he hadn’t heard a single story that made sense.

Groaning, Bobby took a long drink from his coffee before setting the mug down and fixing his eyes on Sam. “Hate to be the one to break it to you Sam but there’s a lot more to this world than most people know. Vampires? Just the tip of the ice burg. When I was a kid some demons were looking to use my parents as a sort of, undercover gig. They had plans to kill me off which was how Dean tracked them down, apparently it was a familiar routine with them.”

Bobby scratched along his arm before shrugging and continuing. “Course it was too late for my parents, demon’s MO involved killing the vessel the minute they were inside. Dean was gonna take me somewhere, state services or somethin’, but I begged and pleaded him to keep me. So he did. Grew up as a human in a clan of vampires.”

Bobby’s smile was fond and soft, his gaze drifting off to nothing as he spoke. “You could live a thousand lives and never meet someone like Dean. He’d put everything on the line if it meant saving just one person. Hell, he’s willing to give up his life for you and you haven’t exactly been the most civil man to him.”

“Give up his life?” Sam let go of his coffee and sat back. “Give me a break. I say no and he just moves on to find someone else. You’ll all just move on if you even let me go. Civil?” He huffed and folded his arms across his chest.

“So he didn’t tell you. God damn him, that is so _like_ him.” Bobby nearly growled and slammed his hand down on the table. “Let me tell you a little something about vampire lore Sam. Whatever it was that made vampires in the first place, how it all started, came with a basic design. One vampire, still basically the same when changed, free to go on about their lives with a few minor changes. But you can’t live forever without it affecting you, you can’t drink blood without your mind suffering. So vampires come with a mate. It’s the person who balances you out, keeps things even, keeps you sane. If you don’t have your mate, eventually, you unravel and turn into a soulless monster.”

Bobby tapped his finger on the table then pointed at Sam. “You’ve got two hundred years until it happens and you’ve got one mate. Those are the rules.”

Sam's eyes shot up to meet Bobby's gaze. He might not know the man but he could tell that Bobby was telling him the truth. "That doesn't even make sense. I mean, what if they don't find their mate? What if - what if the person they think- No. This is crazy." Sam shook his head and sat back but his mind was already putting together pieces of his conversations with Dean. The half-finished sentences, the way the vampire had only just managed to stop himself from speaking.

"Bobby. This is - how can i even believe this stuff. Two days ago I was just a guy hanging out in a bar and now everything I used to write about is _real_ and happening right in front of me. Dean is ... I mean-" Sam shook his head again and looked away.

Bobby’s gaze softened and he reached out to lay his hand over Sam’s. “Sam, I know it’s a lot. Fuck, sometimes I _still_ see things that shock me and I’ve lived the last fifty years of my life with at least a dozen vampires.” Bobby pulled his hand back and wet his lips, taking his hat off and clearing his throat. “I’m not saying you’ve got to become a vampire right now, hell, not even in the next few weeks. But maybe, you could agree to spend some time with Dean? He’s got almost two hundred and thirty years of stories and when he loves you? He pours everything into it. Sam, I know it seems weird but that man is the closest thing to a father I’ve ever known. And if he’s still alone by the end of this year I’m gonna have to kill him because he wants to spare his clan that. Is any of this getting to you?”

Sam watched as the tears welled in Bobby's eyes before the man turned his gaze away. "I didn't know ... any of that. I guess, I guess he didn't tell me because..." Sam's voice trailed off because admitting that Dean might be _half_ the man that Bobby seemed to think he was .. was hard. “You think he loves me?”

Laughing softly, Bobby rubbed at his eyes then nodded. “I think he’s willing to put you in front of me, his clan including a best friend he’s had for seventy five years, and himself, all because he knows you don’t want him. Also, I think I’ve never once seen him cry until today. Emotions like that seem strong enough to imply that love’s the culprit.”

Sam nodded slowly and looked down at the table. "You think he's sleepin' already?"

“Hasn’t slept much lately. Part of the changing thing.” Bobby leaned back in his chair and gestured toward the door to the basement. “Even if he was, don’t think he’d mind seeing you.”

"What's he doing down there?" Sam looked down the hall to an open door and another set of stairs. "Why isn't he upstairs with everyone else?" Sam frowned when he looked back at Bobby. So many feelings were welling up inside him he wasn't ever sure he was on the right side of sane anymore.

Bobby rolled his eyes but laughed, quiet and fond. “He gave you his room, Sam. Only other place safe from the sun is done there.”

"Oh." Sam pressed his lips together and stared at his coffee. "I should maybe go and talk to him. Just to...you know." He tilted his head slightly and pressed his hands flat on the table for a few moments. “He won’t like - freak out or anything - if I surprise him...”

“I think he’d like to see you,” Bobby said quietly, leg extending to catch on Sam’s chair and push slightly. “Just to, you know.” Pushing back, Bobby stood and stretched. “I’m heading up to bed. I trust you to make the right decision.” Walking around the table, Bobby clapped Sam on the shoulder. “These are finer people than you’ll ever meet Sam, wouldn’t spend my whole life with them if they weren’t.”

Sam rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he could actually walk out the front door after that. Sighing he pushed up from the chair and padded down the hallway. Peering down the dark staircase he hesitated only a moment then headed down. The basement was dark and Sam hesitated at the bottom of the stairs for a few moments to let his eyes adjust.

The shelves were packed full of jars containing strange objects, knives, weapons, dusty old books. Sam turned slowly and walked backwards as he squinted to try and see what was hanging on the wall.

The open door to the room he'd been held in when he arrived hit him square between the shoulder blades and he started and spun. "Jesus," he whispered. Peering into the room, Sam reached out blindly for the door frame and stepped into the room. As his eyes adjusted again to the further lack of light he squinted and thought he could see Dean across the room.

Sam dragged his thumb across his bottom lip and creeped a little closer. He stared down at Dean for a few moments, a half smile on his face then crouched down beside the cot. He couldn't help the way his gaze lingered on the curves of Dean's chest, the tightness of his abs and the cut of his hip bone. Catching his bottom lip under his teeth he reached out and traced the line of Dean's hip. The vampire's flesh was cool, just like he expected and Sam sighed softly.

The moment Sam had taken one step downstairs Dean’s body had been on alert. He hadn’t thought the man would willingly come to him, unless maybe something had happened upstairs. He seriously hoped that wasn’t the case.

Then the man was there, touching him softly, and Dean had to force himself not to arch up into the touch. “Kinda thought you’d find a way to run off by now,” Dean admitted in a whisper, slowly blinking his eyes open.

"Jesus _Christ_ ," Sam spat as he fell back on his ass. He laughed nervously as his heart raced and ran a hand through his hair. "Thought you were asleep," he said softly.

Dean’s lips twitched in a slight smile as he turned his eyes to stare at Sam through the darkness. “I’m kind of a vampire ninja. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Blowing out a tense breath, Sam crossed he legs and curled his fingers over the edge of the cot. "You okay?" It was a stupid question, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Regardless of what had gone on between them earlier, Sam hadn't liked the expression on Dean's face when he'd last seen the vampire.

For a moment Dean frowned in confusion than slowly nodded, knowing Sam didn’t really need the additional stress. He sat slowly, blanket shifting as he moved. “You want to sit up here? Floors cold I bet.” He scooted further to the side so Sam would have plenty of room to sit.

Chewing on his bottom lip for a few moments Sam finally pushed up off the floor and sat down on the cot. "You gave me your room, thanks," he said softly. For some reason the darkness, and the silence in the house made him feel like he should be whispering.

“You’re welcome,” Dean whispered, not bothering to ask how he knew. “So, you and Bobby had a talk?” Dean laughed softly when the man sucked in a sharp breath. “I can’t read minds or anything. Just, you knew about the room thing, and I can smell the coffee, it’s the way Bobby’s made it since he was old enough to reach the pot.”

"He cares about you a lot," Sam answered. He smiled slightly and shifted his feet on the cold floor. "Can I..." he gestured toward the length of the cot. "Floor's cold."

“Yeah, sure.” Dean nodded and twisted around, trying to give Sam more room. “Bobby’s... he’s important to me.” If Sam spoke with Bobby, it likely meant he knew a lot more than Dean had told him. “Guess he probably talked to you about a lot of stuff huh?”

"Fair bit, yeah." Sam stuck his feet under the thin blanket and lay down on his side facing the vampire. "You've known him a long time; seem to have left a good impression on him." It was impossible for Sam not to smile when he thought of the man upstairs. "He's a .. character."

Dean’s laugh was a little louder and he shifted around once more, lying on his side to face Sam. “That he is. When he was younger, he used to think he knew _everything_. He’d give me this look, pout his lip out, and say, Dean! I’m seven! I can fire the gun all by myself.” Dean snorted and met Sam’s gaze, lifting his shoulder in a shrug. “He had a very unconventional upbringing.”

"He told me that you - that you saved him." Sam frowned and closed his eyes for a few moments. "Listen, about before... I'm sorry. I ... really? There's nothing that could have prepared me for what's happened in that past-" Sam's frown deepened and he opened his eyes again. "How long has it been since you and I-"

“I have no idea,” Dean murmured and laughed once more, shaking his head. “Three nights? Maybe? I’ve been a little caught up in all of this. Sam, you don’t have to apologize. You’re scared and you have the right to be. None of this should have been dumped on you like it was. John and Mary, they thought they were making the right choice. They didn’t know I wouldn’t change you without you asking for it.” Dean half shrugged and rubbed back over his neck. “Freaking out? Totally normal response.”

"I guess," Sam answered. "Why didn't you just talk to me? About all this I mean. You knew - I mean you must have known that I was... affected by you. Why not just explain?" Sam shifted down a little, reaching for Dean then pulling his hand back when he realized what he was doing.

“You can touch me,” Dean whispered, almost as if he were asking for it. His smile was a little wry as he half shrugged once more. “Felt too much like a guilt trip. I believe that you’re a good guy Sam, if I told you what was going to happen to me if you said no, it seemed like it would be just as bad as forcing you. I know you feel that pull, so even if you’re unhappy with me, I’m not sure you could have just let that happen. I know this has to seem so unfair to you, I’m sorry for coming into your life and fucking it all up.” Dean smiled sadly, sliding his fingers across to Sam, stopping just short of touching him.

“Exactly what happens to you - if you don’t - you know, find your soul mate?” Sam’s eyes widened slightly. “Bobby said that - you’d - that things get bad.” When Dean was silent for a few moments, Sam covered Dean’s hand with his own. “Tell me what happens to you, what’s happening?”

Sighing softly, Dean stared down at Sam’s hand over his for a long while, trying to put the right words together to make it sound less freaky than it really was. “In short, I lose my soul. There’s nothing tethering me to this world, no matter how much I might care for Bobby or John or the entire clan. I become a monster, the primal form of a vampire, whose only instinct is to get blood, tear others apart. It starts with anger, sleeplessness. I’ll stop- I’ve stopped making the right decisions. I can feel lit, the way I’m losing myself.” Pursing his lips, Dean closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly as if he could deny what he’d just said.

"It's begun already?" Sam pressed his lips together and reached up to curl his fingers over Dean's neck. The aching cold of his flesh bit into Sam's palm immediately and he shivered slightly then shifted closer. "You're so cold," he whispered.

Shifting closer Sam wrapped himself almost around Dean's body. It was a whim, human instinct to protect, provide warmth. "I know you don't need this," Sam said softly. "Just humor me."

“I wouldn’t say I don’t need it,” Dean whispered and wrapped his arms tight around Sam, though he couldn’t imagine the man being any warmer now. He would take it though, Sam pressed against him. “It’s begun, except, when I’m around you it gets better. That’s how John and Mary knew it was you, hell; Bobby could even tell the difference.” Dean’s hand slid back into Sam’s hair, his lips pressing to the man’s temple.

“Would it stay better - I mean, would you _be_ better if I was around? What if you just lived here?” Sam shifted back a little so he could study Dean’s feature.

A smile flickered on and off Dean’s face and he dipped his head down, sighing softly. “I think my emotions might remain a little more balanced, so that I wasn’t snapping at everyone, but just being around you won’t save me. You’re not bound to me in any way, there’s nothing balancing my soul out. I might be loving and caring all the way up to the last day, I’d still become the monster once I hit two hundred.”

“When does that happen?” Sam’s thumb was sliding over the square line of Dean’s jaw. “Bobby said - I could - maybe you and I could get to know each other. That there was some time. _Is_ there time?”

“Yeah, about a year, little less but not by much.” Dean wet his lips, not even daring to let himself _hope_ that Sam might mean what it sounded like he meant. “Never before you’re ready, if, you know, that was to happen.”

“Bobby said you’d expect me to ask - or at least - you wouldn’t do it until I asked. Is that true?” Sam’s thumb was trailing along Dean’s cheek bone and he smiled at the way Dean seemed to unconsciously lean into it.

“Yeah, it’s true. It has to be willing on your part.” Dean’s eyes were closed as he let himself enjoy the heat of Sam’s body. He wasn’t sure why Sam was giving him a chance but he was definitely grateful for all he could have.

"Then we should get to know each other. But... there's got to be some trust on both sides. I want to go home. I'll spend tonight here - today - whatever it is. But I want to go home. I need a shower, and clothes and my feet hurt - and frankly, Mary - she scares me a little." Sam smiled crookedly and smoothed Dean's hair back. "Deal?"

“How often will we see each other?” Dean asked quietly, already considering how two schedules could work together considering Dean was exclusive to nights. He wasn’t going to let Sam know that the idea of being without him for any length of time was terrifying.

“What if you came to stay with me, away from your team of dedicated kidnappers?” Sam leaned a little closer. “I can’t - I mean, I really don’t know what’s going on here and I feel like I have to catch up, you know? I know so few things about you.” Sam shrugged and his smile broadened.

Something churned deep in Dean and he sighed, bringing his hand up to rub at his eyes. “I don’t know if I can do that Sam. My clan... they need a leader. I’ve never left them. And- god I would love to just be with you for a while but it’s more complicated than that. I’ll need to feed, I’m generally never up in the day if I can sleep, and the rest of my clan is still waiting for us to return after we finish the hunt here.” Even thinking about all the things between them made Dean feel tight chested.

“Can you work with me here a little?” Sam laughed nervously, feeling a little like his options were getting more and more limited by the moment. “This is...this is my whole life we’re talking about here. I think I deserve a bit of leeway.”

“I didn’t ask anything of you, Sam.” Dean blinked his eyes open and stared at Sam. “I’ll let you go home, whenever you want. I trust you not to turn in Mary and John. I’m sorry, I wish I could go to your home, I just can’t leave my clan alone.”

“So I get no room to even think about this? Is that why you guys usually just change people? Like John did to Mary?” Sam huffed out a breath and his hand stilled on Dean’s shoulder. He was only _just_ getting his mind wrapped around the fact that Dean was a vampire and now that he was entertaining the idea of getting to know him - he was finding out that it meant, basically, staying at Bobby’s.

“Jesus Christ are you even listening to what I’m saying? What the hell are you acting like I’m _making_ you do anything. I just said you could go home, you can do whatever you want Sam, I’m not forcing you into anything. I never once have. This is why I didn’t want you to know about the monster thing. Because if you didn’t know, you wouldn’t be here. You don’t _want_ to be here. You’re just a nice guy and you would feel guilty if-” Dean cut himself off and shook his head, sitting up and pushing his hand roughly up through his hair. “I don’t know what you expect of me.”

Sam flinched slightly. "I don't think I deserved that," he said softly. Untangling himself from the blanket Sam stood and headed back over to the door then turned as his temper flared.

"I had the hottest sex ever with a stranger, and then he disappeared. In the middle of the night I was dragged out of my bed and brought here after being _drugged_. You've ... you drank from me and I _know_ I let you and then Mary told me about her - and - _Jesus_ and Bobby told me all this stuff. I'm trying to reconcile the way I feel when I'm around you - with the fact that I'm confused as fuck. What do I expect of you? I don't even think I know." He leaned hard against the door frame and sighed.

“Then just go,” Dean said quietly, finding himself for the second time in less than twelve hours in tears. “Even now, you make me feel like I’ve already ruined your entire life when I am _telling_ you to do whatever you want. I’m sorry, Sam, that this was how it turned out. I’m sorry that John and Mary went against my orders and kidnapped you, I’m sorry that Bobby told you all of that stuff. Already I’m fucking in love with you and I’m going to literally _die_ by letting you go but I will, in a heartbeat, if that’s what you want.”

"You know," Sam sighed. "For someone who's almost two hundred years old you're not very good at listening." Shaking his head Sam rolled his shoulders and then headed back over to the bed. "I'm trying to tell you that I know I feel things - I just - I'm trying." Kneeling down beside the cot, Sam didn't care that the cold floor was too hard against his knees.

His hands settled on Dean's cheeks and his thumbs swept through dark tears. "Your tears..."

Sighing, Dean blew out a low breath and looked away. “Blood. I know. Sam,” he breathed and finally fixed his eyes on the man. “I’m trying to give you an out. You shouldn’t have to be stuck with this life. I love you too much to force you into this life.”

“Do it again,” Sam said softly. His fingers tightened on Dean’s face, thumbs trying to wipe away the dark smudges his tears left. “Drink from me again. Let me feel it … _knowing_ what I’m feeling.”


	4. Chapter 4

Dean’s nostrils flared as the request started to sink in. “Sam,” he whispered, his eyes flickering automatically down to the pulse point on the man’s neck. “You- are you sure?” His tongue moved out over his lips, his body thrumming with the idea of drinking Sam once more.

Smiling shakily, Sam let his hands fall to Dean's thighs. He hadn't noticed before that the man was only wearing boxers. It seemed so strange in the cold room, in the dark that felt so close. "Yeah, I wanna understand more. I mean - yeah." He nodded slowly and moved closer until he pushed in between Dean's legs, head tilted back slightly. “It makes you feel better, right?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Dean whispered once more. “Just makes me feel guilty.” He reached out to curl fingers over the back of Sam’s skull, bringing him forward and closer until his lips moved over the man’s skin. “If you were a vampire, you would feel each touch like little sparks. It would be, John says it’s like he knows every little thing about Mary, how she feels, how to touch her and please her, he says it’s kind of like never feeling alone, even when you are.” Dean chuckled softly, his thumb gliding over the constant pulse on Sam’s neck. “Can’t really imagine that, I guess.”

Nervous laughter passed Sam's lips and then he drew in a long breath. "How does it make you feel? When you-" His fingers tightened on Dean's thighs and he moved closer, pressing into non-existent warmth.

“Like I’m floating.” Dean laughed softly, leaning in to lay an open mouth kiss over Sam’s throbbing vein. “Like I’m connected to you in a way I’ve never been connected to anyone.” Dean pulled in the scent of Sam, rich and musky and perfect.

“I’ve been alive for so long Sam, part of me had accepted my end.” It came out of nowhere, the confession, but he drew back to meet Sam’s eyes, caught with the desire to say it all now. “I think maybe I’d already given up.”

"And now?" Sam was struck by the dark honesty in those eyes. He dragged his thumb across Dean's bottom lip then leaned in to brush warm lips against cool briefly.

“And now-” Dean’s sigh felt heavy but his hands continued to stroke along Sam’s body, simply savoring the touch. “Now I just want to turn you into a vampire so I can feel like this always. I want to have you in my bed and at my side at all times. But more than that, I want you to be happy. Even if that means, in the end, you leaving me.”

Sam could feel himself beginning to relax as he let himself trust the feelings that were moving through his body. His lashes fell to his cheeks and he turned his head slightly, exposing his neck again. "How would you do it? The change."

“I would drain you,” Dean whispered, almost scared to tell Sam. After all, it wasn’t the most pleasing experience. “Then you would take your blood back. Sam, it’s not pleasant, I won’t lie. You won’t be alone of course, and trust me, that’s much worse, but regardless.” He sighed and leaned forward, tongue dragging slowly up the man’s vein.

"Would it..." Sam's voice was deep, his body trembling slightly as Dean's tongue lingered cold and gentle on his flesh. "Would it change me a lot? Would I feel different?" His breath hitched when Dean's fingers dug into his sides. All the memories of the confusion and fighting still lingered but there was something all-encompassing about the way that Dean touched him ; the way that Sam felt it everywhere.

“Some changes. The most obvious, no sun, you’d drink blood, you’d live presumably forever.” Dean spoke against Sam’s neck, his hands pulling and shifting so Sam was between his legs, flush against his chest.

“Everything is brighter, sharper. Smells, sounds, tastes, feelings. Some vampires are alone and they drain humans, kill them, because they don’t know better. They become those monsters they I can’t stand. You though, you’d be with a clan that would love you, teach you. And me, you’d always have me. God Sam, you’d be so much more gorgeous, I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone anywhere.” He chuckled softly, nicking the skin just barely to draw at the blood.

A half smile pulled at Sam's lips. He felt the slightest sting and stiffened for just a moment in Dean's embrace. The vampire tasted him and there was a shiver of fear that was quickly soothed by the desire that was inching its way through Sam's body. Gasping, Sam slid his hands higher on Dean's thighs, thumbs digging in hard. Dean was all muscle and Sam could feel the vampire moving slightly; arching closer.

“You trust that I won’t change you until, unless, you want it, right?” Dean murmured and ran his hands down along Sam’s shirt, slipping under the hem so he could press against burning skin.

Shifting back slightly, Dean dragged the material up the man’s body until he had no choice but to lift his arms and let Dean tug it off. Then he was pulling Sam in again, their flesh burning together and Dean moaned. “Do you feel this? The want? God, it’s so intense.” Dean was nearly shaking from the desire to just flip Sam over and claim him once more.

Sam felt it. He felt the most overwhelming desire he'd ever experienced; there was something pulling him in. His hands slid to Dean's hips and then around his cool flesh to the small over his back. As his cheek slid against the vampire’s he sighed and then whispered, “I trust you.”

Those words alone had Dean spinning and he moaned softly, lips parting wide on the man’s skin. He sucked until the vein surfaced, pulling back to watch its occasional pulse. He couldn’t take anymore ; talking, torment, teasing. Instead he leaned back in and sank his teeth into Sam’s neck, sucking slow and deep as his arm around Sam’s middle pulled him in close, holding him tight as the heat and coppery tinge slid across his tongue.

All the strength left Sam's body. He felt the sting of Dean's teeth, the first pull and then the sweet beauty of giving in. He could give Dean this, his blood; the swell of emotion he felt as the vampire pulled it from his body felt more like a gift to Sam. Moaning, he let his body sag knowing that Dean would hold on to him. "Feels like waves," he murmured softly.

Dean hummed against Sam’s neck, fingers digging into Sam’s back. It didn’t feel close enough and as heat crawled through him Dean found himself rocking up, grinding against Sam because his body couldn’t get enough, he thought there might never be enough. Dean moaned, one palm pressing against Sam’s ass and drawing him impossibly closer.

"Dean," Sam rasped quietly. His hands clawed their way up Dean's back, pulling himself higher slowly. "I want you," he whispered. Sam's broad palm was pressed to the back of Dean' head, holding the vampire there. He wanted Dean to drink his fill, wanted to feel the delicious pull of each mouthful of blood. Sliding his free hand around Dean's throat, Sam could feel the muscles working in the vampire's neck as he swallowed.

Pulling back slightly with half a gasp, Dean moaned. He was panting against Sam’s neck, tongue sliding out to drag over the wound and close it. His lips scattered kisses along Sam’s neck, body circling slowly forward. “What is it you want?” He asked quietly, words impossibly deep.

Sam pulled back enough to stare into Dean's darkened eyes. "You," he whispered. Pushing his hand down Dean's chest, Sam's fingers finally ran over the hard line in Dean's boxers. "Another night," he said softly. Smiling, Sam kneeled up and pressed his lips to Dean's so he could slide his tongue forward to taste his own blood.

It surprised Dean that Sam would want to taste his own blood. It was also the most incredibly hot thing Dean had ever experienced and he moaned, circling his tongue around Sam’s. He felt like saying every night, not just another, but they would get there. His hand moved down to Sam’s sweats, shoving under the material so he could curl his fingers over the man’s crotch and massage slowly.

Sam's entire body jolted forward, pressing his hard shaft against Dean's palm. "God," he hissed. The cool of Dean's touch was an almost blinding contrast to the heat that Sam felt. He pulled himself up using Dean’s shoulders until he was swaying there in front of the vampire. Eyes locked with Dean's, Sam shoved his sweats down until he could step out of them.

Smiling, he reached down and picked up Dean's hand then pressed it to his own chest. "Like before, just... I wanna feel it all again. Like before." Sam felt like he was drunk, weaving slightly as he stood there.

Swallowing thickly, Dean nodded then slid his hand up, curling around the man’s neck. In one swift move he yanked the man down, trapping Sam beneath him on the bed. His hips lifted so he could kick off his boxers and then it was just miles and miles of overheated skin. Dean covered Sam entirely, lips rocking slow and languid together as his tongue mapped along every inch of Sam’s mouth.

Hips rolling against Sam’s, Dean moaned into the kiss, hands fluttering along the man’s side. Their cocks slid together and Dean nipped at the man’s lip, coaxing blood from the wound the man had made earlier.

Sam couldn't remember every being kissed the way Dean kissed him. Cool and silky soft, Dean's lips moved over his, sliding, pulling back, teeth nipping and then there was the coppery taste of blood right on the heels of a slice of pain. Groaning quietly, Sam arched up so his heated flesh would slide against Dean's; lust tore through his body like wildfire.

Pushing down, Dean spread Sam’s legs apart with the press of his knee, hands drifting down to slide along the underside of the man’s thigh and spread him further. He lifted his hips so his hand could move over Sam’s cock, stroking slow and twisting, his tongue still working over the cut to pull up more blood. Dean felt dizzy and overloaded, and he wanted to just take Sam like this, claim him without waiting.

“Sam,” he gasped as he pulled back from the kiss, fingers grazing over the man’s balls. “Drivin’ me insane.”

Laughing quietly, Sam's body curved up off the bed. Gasping in a breath he dropped back to the bed as the cold radiated off Dean's body. "Better fuck me then," he almost growled.

No matter what Sam’s thoughts had been all day, the smooth cold skin pressed up against him brought back all his memories of their first night together. Moaning, Sam gripped Dean’s arms tightly.

Dean groaned and pulled his hand up, sucking two fingers into his mouth and thoroughly soaking them. He considered running up through the house to his room where he knew his bag had a bottle of lube but the journey seemed impossible because it meant tearing himself away from Sam.

Reach back down between them Dean slid both fingers into Sam, eyes fluttering closed at the tight heat that instantly encased his fingers. Though Dean didn’t require breath he found himself panting, eyes locked on Sam’s arousal colored cheeks as his fingers spread apart and twisted slowly.

Each breath Sam dragged into his lungs was like a wheeze. His hand slapped out against the cold, rough wall and his nails dragged along it slowly. The cold burn of Dean's fingers was like a teasing ache and Sam's hips twisted to the side. "Just fuck me," he said. Licking his lips Sam swung one leg over Dean's arm and pushed up onto his hands and knees. His entire body swayed back, sliding Dean's fingers deeper inside him.

“Jesus,” Dean hissed, shuddering at the ripple of pleasure sparked by Sam’s words. His fingers drew back and he spit into his palm, quickly slicking himself. It was rough, gritty even, certainly hotter than anything Dean had.

Fingers curving over the man’s hips, Dean slid forward and lined himself up. He heard Sam inhale, perhaps to say something, but Dean drove forward in one swift thrust, plunging all the way inside the man and squeezing his hip tight it enough it had to hurt.

"Oh God-" Sam's moan was loud, his hands curling into firsts in the old thin mattress below him. His head hung low, oxygen coming in short bursts as his body tried to adjust to the cool stretch. He could feel Dean's cock throbbing and the slight tremble of the vampires hands as they gripped too tight.

"Fuck, I-" Sam let out a choked moan again, his body aching and tingling everywhere all at the same time. There were words he wanted to get out, things he wanted to tell Dean - about the way he felt - the way he did feel something so different when he was with Dean... but everything was too caught up in the pleasure of the moment.

“Shh,” Dean hummed softly, pressing over Sam’s back until his lips met the bump of the man’s spine. He had no idea how long he stayed buried in Sam, simply letting him adjust, just that by the time he was finally pulling back his entire body was sparking.

He straightened up and pulled slowly back from the man, biting down on his lip as his hips snapped hard forward into the impossibly tight heat of the man. Instantly he was moving again, each draw back shortening until he was thrusting hard forward, his pace quickening so he was fucking hard against the man, their skin slapping together the only sound outside Sam’s breathless keens.

Sam rocked back against Dean's thrusts; pulling the man deeper. His head was spinning, thoughts racing at the same speed as his heart. Dean's name passed his lips a few times in between moans; he wasn't even aware enough to be ashamed of the sounds he was making.

Each hard thrust forward made Sam's entire body buzz with lust. It felt like his skin was on fire and he'd never been so hard. His cock ached, hanging full and heavy between his legs. "Dean...please," Sam whispered.

Angling his hips, Dean snapped forward until Sam called out and he knew he’d hit the spot that would drive Sam a little mad. His arm wrapped around the man’s middle, hand moving to curling around Sam’s cock and stroke hard and fast, matching each quick forward thrust into his lover.

“So good Sam,” Dean groaned, head tipping back as he felt the beginning peak of his orgasm, so close he could feel it just underneath his control. “Come, come for Sam, so close.” The muscles tightened around him and Dean knew that Sam was going to pull him over the edge when he came.

The way Dean's cool palm slid over Sam's cock was insanely intense. But it was the words, low and seductive that Dean murmured that set off the burst of pleasure that cascaded down Sam's body.   
As Sam's orgasm slammed into him, his arms gave out and he fell forward. His muscles tightened around Dean's cock and he felt the pulse of his lover's pleasure as he fought his way through wave after wave of his own.

Dean felt like his orgasm lasted for a lifetime, a thousand times more dizzying and intense than their first time together. Maybe because he knew exactly who Sam was, he knew exactly how they were supposed to be together.

Finally he pulled out, collapsing to the side and pulling Sam with him. “Jesus,” he whispered, forcing Sam to turn so their lips could meet. He had to admit it was kind of a sharp thrill to know he could so easily manhandle Sam.

Sam's hands were on Dean quickly, his kisses a little frantic, desperate. But in that moment everything seemed a little clearer; Sam felt like he just needed to be close to Dean for as long as he could. Slipping his tongue forward, Sam moaned again as his leg slid over Dean's to press the length of their bodies together.

Arms clutched tight around Sam, Dean held him there as they kissed until Sam’s heart was no longer racing. It was cold in the room, Dean knew he was just as cool, and Sam was going to be freezing soon. So he tugged the blanket up over them, finally breaking back from the kiss when Sam’s chest shook as he inhaled.

“Hey,” Dean whispered, the word muffled as Sam instantly pressed in to kiss him again. “Sam? Hey, what’s going?” He pulled back again, this time holding the man back.

Shivering slightly, Sam burrowed down under the thin blanket and rested his head on Dean's cool chest. "I just, right now it feels like I can't ever be away from you - just scared me a little. It's kind of ... intense." Arms still cinched tightly around the vampire's body, Sam blew out a long breath and closed his eyes.

“Yeah, it kind of is.” Dean had to agree there. He didn’t want to let Sam go, not for a moment, and he thought again about how easy it would be to just change the man right then and there. “I don’t think- not sure I can,” he whispered and slipped his hand through Sam’s hair, carding along the silky locks slowly.

“Not sure you can what?” Sam smiled against the vampire’s chest and pressed a kiss to the cold skin.

Eyes closing, Dean exhaled shakily. “Be without you. Kept saying I could, if that’s what you wanted, but it’ll kill me before I even reach two hundred.” Nothing quite like laying it out there he supposed.

"Oh," Sam said. He wasn't sure what the right answer was to that but he knew what his heart wanted him to be able to say. Taking a deep breath, Sam rolled back a little so he could see Dean's face. "What would happen? I mean - if I did this - if we did this. What about the people that I know? My family? My writing?"

“Well, there’s no reason you couldn’t continue to write. And you could even stay part of your family for a little while longer, depends on how you want to handle that. I’ve seen it done a couple of ways; some people fake their death right away. Some people wait. We, my clan, we hunt you know? We fight evil and it means a lot of traveling.” Dean sighed softly, hand stroking through Sam’s hair. “Are you close with your family?”

"I don't - I don't see them a lot but then I never thought there was even the slightest possibility that I wouldn't be able to." Sam sucked on his bottom lip for a few moments as he thought about everything.

There was a pull. He couldn't explain it any other way. Something inside him, his heart, his soul, whatever was that mythical place that was the center of his being; that place - that part of him wanted to be with Dean. Maybe he even needed it. It was easier to breathe lying there next to Dean, easier to think, it was the only time he'd been truly relaxed since the morning Dean left. "I don't know what to do," Sam said softly.

For a while Dean let silence fall between them, his hand stroking slowly through Sam’s hair, down his back. There wasn’t an easy answer to this, Dean knew. It was going to end up coming down to Sam choosing between his family and Dean and that wasn’t ever something he wanted. But Sam wasn’t the first to join their clan and have people to leave behind; he was just the first to get the choice before hand.

“Do you think it would have been better if I just changed you? Then you would have felt all the things I feel and it wouldn’t be a choice,” Dean whispered the words, knowing Sam was still awake though Dean had thought he would crash after their time in bed together.

"Honestly? I don't know." His eyelids were heavy and the decision felt like a ton of bricks balanced on his shoulders. "Maybe?" Sam nestled closer. "Maybe I would have hated that you took that choice away from me." Sam's fingers moved slowly on Dean's back, like he was trying to learn every inch of the vampire's flesh.

“No one has ever hated their mate. I’ve seen over twenty vampires find their mates and never once have I seen anything but love and devotion between them after. They always say it’s like, feeling whole even though they never realized before that they weren’t. When I found John he was halfway to mad, I brought him back, I watched him get better and grow and come back from all of that. But I don’t honestly think he got truly better until he met Mary. I’ve never seen anything quite like that.” Dean couldn’t help the soft smile brought on by thinking about his friends, even if he was just a little jealous that they’d gotten it so easy.

Even thinking about the slightest possibility of losing Dean was making Sam's body feel colder, alone and he pressed closer. "Yes," Sam whispered. The sound was hardly above a breath, and his heart thundered louder in his chest.

Dean listened to Sam’s heart pick up speed, his breath quicken, and everything inside him warmed. “Yes?” He asked softly, already knowing what Sam was saying yes to but needing to hear the man ask.

Sam pressed his lips to Dean's chest, and whispered again, "yes. I want you to change me." Somewhere in the back of his mind Sam could feel the nip of fear, but he just breathed deeper, pulling in that outdoor, night scent off Dean's skin.

A low growl shook through Dean and in one move he rolled them, pinning Sam down to the mattress. He stared down into his lover’s - his future mate’s - eyes and slowly smiled. “Don’t think I’ve ever heard anything as good as that before. What made you change your mind? It was my good looks huh? Never growing old with someone as beautiful as me, I get it.” Dean smirked at Sam, so happy his entire body felt warm like it never had when he drank.

Sam smiled weakly, fingers lifting to curl around Dean's forearms. "Just can't stand the way it feels now when I think of not being with you. Feels like trying to give up myself somehow, I can't even explain it." Sam's smile faded slightly and he blinked up at Dean. "I just need a few days? I need to ... there are some things I need to do." Thinking about his family, seeing his Mom and Dad made Sam's throat tighten a little.

“Yeah, okay.” Dean nodded and since Sam didn’t seem nearly as happy as him, he rolled off the man’s body. “Did- will you sleep here? Before going I mean. Do you need anything?” He’d thought that the change me would come with a lot more excitement but it seemed like Sam was struggling with the things he’d be given up with as well.

“Could you come back upstairs with me? It’s cold...and I don’t want Mary to tackle me ‘cause she thinks I’m leaving.” Sam smiled slightly as he sat up. “It’s a little scary that’s all,” he added as an afterthought. Somehow, he could feel that his reaction had disappointment Dean.

“I know.” Dean nodded, taking a moment to think of the layout of Bobby’s house. “You’ll have to walk ahead of me, just to make sure there’s no sunlight, not sure what time it is.” Dean sat up, looking around the room before pushing forward to grab his boxers and clothing. The last thing he wanted was Bobby seeing him next to naked, he was kind of like the guy’s father in some weird, demented sort of way.

Sam pulled his sweats back on and picked up the blanket off the bed. “Here, cover up.” He swung the blanket around Dean’s shoulders and leaned in to kiss him again before tugging his forward. “Mary is kind of the scariest of all of you,” he whispered.

“You’re telling me.” Dean smiled briefly at Sam then nudged him forward. He wanted to go back to being in bed, and holding Sam. There he could close his eyes and remember that Sam asked and leave it at that.

Following the man, Dean paused at the top of the steps, waiting for Sam to check before stepping up and into the kitchen. Even though there was no direct sunlight beaming into the room Dean flinched and covered his eyes. “Jesus, that’s bright,” he hissed and bumped into the wall.

"Here," Sam turned around and bent down slightly. "Keep your arms covered and get on my back. I'll take you upstairs or you're gonna known yourself out." He looked over his shoulder and widened his eyes when Dean just stood there. "C'mon."

“Oh this is just ridiculous.” Dean muttered but he found himself doing as Sam requested, hopping onto the man’s back and dragging the blanket up slightly to wearing like a hood. “Come on horse, move your fine ass.” Dean grinned and bit gently at Sam’s shoulder, squeezing his legs tight around the man.

“You’re very funny,” Sam huffed. Shaking his head he chuckled and made sure he had a good grip on Dean’s legs then headed up the stairs as quietly as he could. The shutters were all closed on the second floor, most of the doors except Sam’s closed so they moved quickly into darkness.

“Sam what are-” Bobby came into the hall, stopping as he took in Dean on the man’s back, his eyes widening. “Dean?”

“Oh man.” Dean sighed and wiggled, trying to get free. “Sam, put me down,” he hissed, rolling his eyes when Bobby’s smirk slowly grew.

Sam shrugged and let Dean slide to the floor as soon as they were on the top step. "Sunlight," he muttered. "I was just - well, he- I wanted-" Sam shrugged again and nudged Dean with his shoulder.

“The panic room is too cold so Sam dragged me up here, literally.” Dean shrugged, giving Bobby the slightest smile to tell the man things were okay. “I swear you tell anyone what you saw and I will bust out the naked baby photos.”

Bobby scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You don’t have any baby photos of me.”

“I know, that’s what makes these ones really disturbing. Never met an eight year old so eager to be naked all the time.” Dean smirked, stepping forward to hook his arm around Bobby’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be in bed boy?”

“Don’t boy me, just because you’re old enough to have known my great-great-grandfather.” Bobby elbowed Dean but sank slightly into his side a moment later. “Gross Dean, you reek.” A moment after Bobby said the words he seemed to get what the smell was and his eyes widened as he wiggled away. “Dean.”

Dean laughed and shook his head, crossing the hall to Sam and slipping his arm around the man’s middle. “Sam, I think we’ve officially damaged him, what do you say?”

"I might actually be a little damaged myself.” but there was a smile on Sam's face. The affection between Bobby and Dean was sweet and so very ... Human.

“Welcome to a life with Dean,” Bobby muttered gruffly, shaking his head. He watched them for a moment before stepping back. “Goin’ back to bed unless...”

“It’s all good Bobby,” Dean reassured the man softly, telling him with a smile that things with him and Sam were good, that the man wasn’t going to tear open the shutters and burn him to a crisp or something.

“Kay, night then.” Bobby nodded and stepped back into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Dean led the way into his room, dropping the blanket to the side and slipping out of his jeans. “So, you’ll go tonight then?” He asked, leaving his shirt on and tugging the blanket up on the bed to climb under.

"Wow, yeah. I guess I will. And alone I suppose." Every time Sam tried to think about what to say to his parents he just drew a blank. After all what would anyone say knowing it might be the last time they saw a loved one.

He slipped into the bed and lay down on his back. "What else will I miss? Once I'm different."

Guilt curled thick through Dean’s chest and he scratched over his scalp, trying to shake off the feeling. Maybe it would always feel this way, like he was taking Sam’s life from him. “Eating. Drinking. Obviously the ability to have children, if that was something you wanted. Honesty with others. In the clan of course honesty is expected but when we meet new people we can’t tell them who we are. At some point down the line if you keep writing we’ll have to get you another ID so people are suspicious. Normal sleep. Breathing. I think that’s most of it.” It sure sounded like a whole shitload of things.

It was too difficult for Sam to even begin to comprehend what Dean was telling him. His mind had become mired down in the simple notion of being dead; not being the person he had been his entire life. "But you? You will always be with me?"

“Yes,” Dean whispered, shifting slightly so he could look at Sam. “I’ll never, ever, leave you. You can count on that.” He reached out to brush Sam’s hair behind his ear. “And John and Mary, I know you’ll get to love them once they stop doing things like kidnapping and scaring you.” He laughed weakly, smiling sadly at Sam. When he’d said he was waiting for Sam to ask to be changed, Dean had somehow pictured the moment being much more joyful. “You’ll love the rest of the clan too I’m sure.”

“I’m sure,” Sam said quietly. “When? When will you do it?” His fingers crept back over to Dean’s chest, smoothing up to the side of his neck.

“I guess, whenever you feel ready. There’s the change, and because it’s so close to me turning two hundred in vampire years there’s this ceremony we’ll have to perform. It binds our souls faster, smooths things out.” Dean closed his eyes and swallowed the slightly sick feeling in the back of his throat. He’d never changed anyone before and he knew it wasn’t going to be the easiest thing, at least not when things felt like they did now. “Where does your family live?”

“What? Oh, not far. I’ll just drive there and...well. I’ll figure out what I’m going to do when I get there I guess.” Letting out a long, slow breath, Sam closed his eyes against the swell of nervous energy. “Ceremony...tell me about that.”

“Lots of big fancy words in Latin. I’ll have to eat a mixture of some herbs and stuff, then you’ll have to drink until you’ve nearly drained me. Then you have to feed me blood. Something about giving over my strength, entrusting you to care for me when I’m at my weakest. Then we consummate things and there’s probably some flashy lights. Only works with soul mates who love each other.” Dean shrugged scratching at his jaw slowly. “It’s not as complicated as it sounds.”

Sam blinked, wide-eyed in the dark room as he stared over at Dean. "Uh, I drain you? Consummate - like... how consummate?" Sam’s heart started racing again and he shifted closer. The closer he was to the vampire, the more he was reminded of the way he felt drawn to him; would never be able to leave.

Dean snorted and blinked his eyes open, tilting his head to look at Sam. “It’s a fluid exchange spell, so to speak. In which you basically have to possess me in all ways. So you take all my blood and choose when to nourish me, then you claim my body, the spell covers the soul part. It’s like... you’re taking control of me, something deeper than a promise that says you’re going to keep me from any dark ways.”

“Claim your body?” Sam rubbed a hand down his face. “Like.. wait. Are we alone when we do this?” Rolling his shoulders nervously, Sam slipped his hand down and curled his fingers over Dean’s hip. The cool of his skin was refreshing and Sam tried to slow his breathing.

“For the you fucking me thing we will be,” Dean muttered, half laughing though it wasn’t all that amusing. This really hadn’t seemed too complicated before. “Bobby speaks Latin so he’ll have to be there to read the incantation while you’re draining me, then he’ll leave. You get to decide if you want to claim me then or feed me first then claim me.”

“Feed you from me?” Sam’s mind was spinning again and he discovered the feeling was entirely too familiar. He seemed to have spent an awful lot of him time confused since he’d met the vampire. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he added softly.

“You won’t. The point is that I trust you not too. But uh, no, not from you. You need to take my blood and keep it. We’ll have to have someone... well let’s just say Mary and John are going to be repeating the kidnapping performance.” Dean pursed his lips, quickly continuing when Sam stiffened. “We don’t have to kill the person. I’ll only drink enough to give them a slight headache. They’ll be back in their home in the morning and just think the whole thing was some weird dream.”

“Wow, okay.” Sam shuddered slightly and hesitated a moment before leaning in to kiss the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Okay, right? It’ll be fine.” Sam smiled nervously and slid further down into the bed.

“Yeah. You- it’s-” Dean laughed weakly once more and rubbed at his eyes, blowing out a low breath moments later. “It’s supposed to be a ceremony of love. And trust. And I guess in part sacrifice. Me giving myself up to you in every way.” Smiling wryly at Sam, Dean shrugged. “It’s kind of supposed to be romantic.”

Looking up through his hair, Sam smiled slightly. "Could I just take you out for dinner and a movie?"

Dean laughed quietly and shook his head. “Somehow I don’t see that working quite as well. Sorry. I know all of this, it’s kind of ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous at all.” Sam wrapped his long arms around Dean’s body and pulled him as close as possible. His cheek was pressed against Dean’s chest and he turned in slightly to place a soft kiss there. “It sounds really important, and special and just the kind of thing that I usually screw up somehow.”

“You won’t. Someone will be guiding you the entire way. Either me or Bobby. I know you can handle it.” Dean let his fingers fall over Sam’s cheek, sliding back into his hair. “Sam? Are you sure this what you want? I can’t understand the amount of stuff you have to give up but I know it’s important to you.”

"Yeah. I mean - yeah. The way I feel. It's all inside and it's hard to put it into words. You know, I can't even think about leaving you without feeling kind of crazy. Like I'll fall apart...I don't know. Weighing it all out - this is what I have to do. Doesn't feel like a choice." Sam smiled and pushed himself further up again so he could meet Dean's gaze head on. "I'm sure this is what I need to do. I couldn't live with knowing that you...”

“Okay.” Dean nodded, returning Sam’s smile with a soft one of his own. “But if you go, and see your family, and change your mind... I won’t hate you okay? Just, in case.” His lips dipped into a frown for a moment before he forced them back up.

“Dean, I wouldn’t have said yes if I were going to change my mind. I know how important this is.” Sam’s lips turned up and his smile warmed. “You could come with me, you know, make sure I come back.” The idea of introducing Dean to his mother was mildly entertaining.

“And what? Meet your family?” Dean laughed loud at that, shaking his head roughly. “Wouldn’t work. Hilarious thought and I hate the idea of letting go of you for even a minute but there’s not many ways to explain to your parents why your new boyfriend can’t step into the sunlight and drinks blood.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Sam’s lips pressed tighter together. “She’d sure love you though. She’s been after me for a long time to find someone, settle down. Just never seemed right...” Sam frowned and shook his head slowly. “Never before the moment I saw you - even in that bar, you were being all cocky and I never usually do that - you know - bring someone to my home.”

Sam had to admit, there was something to it. Maybe parts of him had known the truth before his mind had caught up. “You know how it was important before that you knew I trusted you? You know that you can trust me, right?”

“I know.” Dean smiled and sighed softly, pulling Sam close so their lips could meet. “I do trust you Sam. I just, you know, I’ve never had someone like you. I didn’t think I would get to have you honestly. After so long...” Dean blew out a low breath then kissed Sam once more, deepening in as if he could tell Sam exactly how he felt by this one kiss alone.

The soothing heat of pleasure moved back over Sam's entire body. Shivering slightly he tightened his hold on Dean's body and moaned softly. The house was silent around them; all Sam could hear was his own heart beat pounding in his ears. His tongue slipped forward and pushed into the cool, slick mouth of the vampire and he keened softly.

Dean kissed Sam until that tight band around his chest faded away. He knew he loved Sam, knew he trusted him, didn’t even question the fact that things like this shouldn’t happen after only a couple of days together. Pulling back from the kiss, Dean pressed his lips to Sam’s nose. “I know it’s crazy Sam but I love you.”

"It's not crazy," Sam murmured. "I'm awesome. Who else could you find who would be better to spend the rest of e-eternity with?" Breathing slowly, Sam settled back into the pillow. "You still... hungry?"

“You got a kink about me drinking your blood?” Dean’s brows rose, a slight smirk on his lips.

Sam felt his cheeks flush slightly and turned away so Dean couldn't see the blood color his cheeks. "No, I just - I'm bein' nice," he lied. The thing was, it felt amazing. It was like being drugged and floating above the world for a little while, above all the problems - the puzzles that faced him. “I’m just bein’ polite,” he added weakly.

“You know I think it’s hot,” Dean murmured and rolled toward Sam, nuzzling into his neck. “That you like it, want it even, that’s hotter than anything I’ve seen in a long time.” He nipped at Sam’s neck, laving over the small beads of blood that appeared.

Sam let out a half laugh - half moan and tilted his head back as he slid his fingers up into Dean's hair. Shifting slightly, Sam pressed the length of his body against Dean's as that cool tongue moved over his flesh. "Will it..will it always be like this?"

“Hotter than hell?” Dean suggested with a slight smirk, body moving against Sam’s. “It’s going to be a thousand times when we’re both vampires. We can drink from each other, everything will be more intense.” Dean pressed his lips under Sam’s jaw, exhaling slowly. “We can be as rough as we want, god, it’s going to be amazing.” He moaned and shifted back to the crook of Sam’s neck, sinking his teeth into the skin and instantly gathering the coppery blood over his tongue.

Sam’s gasp was as much of pleasure as surprise at the push then release as Dean’s teeth slid into his flesh. Desire slithered through his body, hot and quick and the anxiety of his worries faded slowly with each pull on his vein.

Grunting softly, Sam circled his arms around Dean’s neck and cradled the vampire’s head, pulling him in close.

Honestly, Dean was a little surprised that Sam hadn’t passed out yet. No food, all the blood Dean had taken from him, the deliciously dizzying sex they had before. Hell, Dean was close to passing out and he was a fucking vampire. He pressed Sam flat back against the mattress and sucked slow and long from him, fingers skittering along the man’s sides.

Sam's breathing deepened and his muscles relaxed; arms sliding off Dean's neck slowly. The buzz of pleasure was all over his body, peaceful and sweet, loving and Sam just closed his eyes and rose the wave of feeling.

When Dean pulled back he lapped gently at Sam’s neck, dragging his tongue up along the man’s jaw and back to his ear lobe. “We should sleep,” he murmured, nuzzling into Sam’s side.

Sam's nod was barely there and his fingers brushed against Dean's until he could twine their hands together.

Settling into the man’s side, Dean pressed his lips to Sam’s shoulder, sleep already tugging at him now that he was safe in the knowledge that they would get to be together.

-=-=-=-

As Dean woke he became aware of several things in quick secession. He was a lot warmer than he normally was, Sam’s smell was invading his senses, and someone was watching him. Presumably, Sam. Dean wet his lips before his eyes opened, shifting over to his future mate and he smiled slightly. “Enjoying the view?”

"You slept late. I'm hungry. And I'm not going down there without you, or they'll tie me up until they can check to see if you're still alive...or ... a vampire or whatever." Sam's smiled widened and he dipped forward and took Dean's lips in a gentle kiss. "And, yes. I enjoy the view."

Laughing softly, Dean turned into the kiss and slid his arms around Sam. “They can feel me. Just like I know they’re alive. Can’t tell specifics, can just still feel their presence.” Dean’s hands slid along Sam’s back, relief swimming through him. It was good to know the man was still there. “Sleep good?”

Nodding, Sam pulled Dean over onto his chest and slid his hands down the curve of the vampire’s back until he could squeeze his ass. “I did, was good. Better than the night before - but then-” Sam shrugged and laughed as he thought about his kidnapping.

“And you would think being drugged would provide for a good sleep.” Dean snorted and ran his nose along the man’s neck, inhaling his scent. “You gonna go tonight? Or you could stay until morning, you know, if you want. You said it was only a few hours’ drive right?” Dean was maybe not looking forward to letting Sam go.

Sighing, Sam frowned and turned into Dean’s soft hair. “I’ll wait until you sleep, and go to my place then take off. I need clothes, and shoes and a variety of other things before I see my folks. I’ve got enough to … well, figure out. I guess I won’t be explaining anything.”

It made Sam’s chest tighten as he thought about the way his Mom would fling the front door open when she heard his car in the driveway. His Dad would insist on them having a drink together and laugh when Sam told him about the novel he was working on. And throughout all the normal chit-chat and banter Sam would be trying to figure out what to say; if he was going to say anything.

Dean tried to keep his light touches soothing, his lips pressing to the man’s temple. “We could see them you know. Sometime down the line. The light thing is clearly an issue but we can figure something out yeah? So maybe this won’t be the last time you see them?”

“Can we go eat?” Sam’s stomach was knotted up and he didn’t want to think about his family. “Take me downstairs and feed me.” He smiled warmly at Dean and kissed the corner of his mouth.

Frowning slightly at the brush off - after all, Dean had just been trying to help - Dean nodded and rolled off him. “If you’d just eaten the sandwich I made for you earlier you wouldn’t be so starved. God, it’s not like I would have poisoned it.” Dean huffed and sat up, reaching out for his bag to grab some clean clothes.

“Can I have a shirt or are you gonna parade me around half naked?” Sam smirked and scooted down so he could press up against Dean’s back. His arms snaked around the vampire’s middle and he pointed into the bag. “I like that t-shirt.”

“Then there you go.” Dean pulled the shirt from his bag and tossed it over his shoulder. “You know, I told you, Mary and John brought you some things from your home last night. I could go get you a shirt and some clean pants if you want.”

“I can’t wear your shirt?” Sam pouted slightly against Dean’s shoulder.

Snorting a laugh, Dean rolled his eyes. “You can wear my shirt, was just offering. Come on, thought you were hungry.”

Sam pulled the dark t-shirt down over his hair. “I need a shower too,” he said.

Groaning slightly, Sam stretched his arms up and stood slowly, arching his back. “I never asked,” he said frowning. “Where do you actually live?”

“I have a manor in Louisiana; we’re not there very often though.” Dean changed from his old t-shirt to a new one, standing as well to pull on some jeans.

“A manor?” Sam wandered closer and smoothed his hand over the ass of Dean’s jeans. “You’re sexy and rich?”

“You don’t live to be over two hundred without acquiring some wealth.” Dean laughed softly and turned to press against Sam. “That’s all confusing, the age thing. Because I was thirty when I was changed, and now I’m nearly two hundred in vampire years, so depending on how you say it.” He shrugged and drew Sam close, kissing him softly.

“How did Mary do it?” Sam’s brows drew together as he pulled back from the kiss. All the pieces of information in his head were starting to slot together and give him a bigger picture. Maybe it was the writer in him.

“With her family?” Dean frowned, trying to catch up once more to Sam’s thoughts.

Sam shook his head and circled his arms around Dean's waist so he could tuck his fingers under the man's waistband. "No, y'know. I mean - the ... claiming thing. Of John." Sam swayed them back and forth for a few moments and studied Dean's expression.

“Oh, well, the ceremony thing, it’s only when it’s really very close to the edge. They had natural time for their souls to connect, for everything to build. The ceremony thing is for us because we don’t have that time.” Dean swayed them back and forth slowly and laughed. “Are you picturing her trying to claim John? That’s really... just. Weird.”

Sam blushed almost instantly. “I wasn’t picturing it. I was just curious - well, not even curious - just thinking about.. okay look never mind. And if you tell them I said that - I’ll … withhold sex or something.” Sam shrugged and shoved at Dean’s chest. “I need food.”

“If you withhold sex then I would just not feed from you,” Dean muttered, leading the way across the room and tugging the door open. “After you Princess.”

“Oh you’re funny,” Sam jibed. He shook his head and yanked the door open coming face to face with Mary. Trying to maintain his composure Sam swung around in a circle and moved in behind Dean then peered over the vampire’s shoulder.

Mary smiled brightly and waved her fingers. “Breakfast? Bobby cooked for you Sam.”

“Oh, that must mean Bobby really does like him.” Dean grinned at Mary, stepping forward to kiss her cheek and squeeze her arm before turning back to Sam. “Come on, I’ll hold her, you make a break for the kitchen.”

"It's not funny," Sam muttered. But he slipped behind Dean anyway and scooted down the stairs.

Mary’s smiled brightened eve more and she tilted her head back to beam up at Dean. “Things going well?”

“Yeah,” Dean murmured, grinning and catching his lip between his teeth. He didn’t want to reveal Sam’s decision yet, not until the man was completely ready himself, but it was hard not to be caught up in the rush of warmth, the very idea of being with Sam.

“Good,” Mary said softly. “Real good. So you forgive me and you think I did the best thing ever by kidnapping him?” She patted Dean’s chest as she looked up at him.

“Well, maybe not the best thing but I do forgive you.” Dean laughed and stepped in to hug her once more. “Where’s your mate? I think I need to apologize.”

“Outside on the front porch firmly engrossed in a manly sulk.” She shrugged and stepped back. “Probably doesn’t need an apology but he needs his friend.” Her smiled softened slightly.

Dean winced. “Hope you didn’t have to deal with that all day.” He smiled softly at her once more before heading down the stairs, looking out front for a moment before heading to the kitchen. “Sam? Oh uh, did you meet Jo and Nick?” Dean had forgotten he hadn’t told his mate about them being there as well.

Sam was sitting at the table with his fingers wrapped tightly around a coffee cup. “I have now, thank you,” he said through a forced smile.

Wincing once more, Dean gave his future mate an apologetic look before turning his gaze to the vampires. “Jo? You two need to go out and feed? And perhaps do a little more investigating on the bodies, still no lead there huh?” Dean was certainly slacking on the case, but well, Sam was in the picture now and things were different.

“No leads but we can certainly try. I’ve been working with Nick on tracking,” Jo smiled as her hand touched her mate’s arm. “Sam, it was nice to meet you um, even though the circumstances are weird. Hopefully we’ll see more of you soon.”

“Yeah you too,” Sam said quietly. He was holding his mug so tight he was surprised that it hadn’t shattered.

“Sammy!” Mary laughed softly and slid down into the chair beside Sam so she could sling her arm over his shoulder. “Let’s get to know each other while Dean goes to see John.”

“Uh, okay.” Sam frowned over his smile as he glanced up at Dean.

“Can you please, all of you, stop scaring the man I love? I’d like to keep him around long enough without the use of drugs and kidnapping.” Dean sighed, clapping Nick on the shoulder and kissing Jo’s cheek before they left.

When he turned back Bobby, Sam, and Mary were all staring at him and Dean pursed his lips. “If you’re about to make fun of me, any of you, allow me to remind you that I have blackmail material on each of you.”

Sam nudged Bobby in the ribs. “Don’t go easy on him on my account.” Smirking he picked up his coffee and sipped it, peering at Dean over the rim of the mug.

“What do you think Mary, is he gonna start showing up with flowers and candy soon?” Bobby smirked, heading for the frying pan on the stove. “Gonna go all Twilight and make Sam marry you before he becomes a vamp?”

“I’m going to go talk to John.” Dean groaned rubbing at his temple then dropping his hand. “Sam?” Which was a silent, you good? Just to be safe.

Nodding, Sam smiled warmly. “I’m good, Dean. Bobby hasn’t kidnapped me yet and Mary - well, she and I will get to know each other.”

Mary grinned at Dean and patted Sam’s thigh.

“Okay.” Dean smiled, nodding as he headed for the door. He stopped halfway there, turning back and crossing the room quickly. His hand slid back through Sam’s hair, tugging so the man’s head tipped back and he dipped in to slant a long, deep kiss over his mouth.

"Oh my," murmured Mary.

Sam could feel his body respond immediately and moaned softly as his tongue slipped forward into the man's mouth.

Mary reached over and pushed the bottom of Sam's mug level again as it started to spill.

Dean pulled slowly back as Bobby cleared his throat, smiling against Sam’s lips. “Just in case you’re gonna miss me,” he murmured, kissing Sam softly once more before laughing and stepping back. “Mary, your cheeks are almost red, does John know you’re into voyeurism?”

“Oh he sure does.” Mary’s eyes widened and she winked at Dean.

“I’m so not ready to be part of this clan,” Sam murmured with a smile on his face.

For just a moment Dean’s smile slipped then he stepped back, looking over at Bobby to make sure he was making Sam food. “Okay, I’ll be back in a few, I’ll just be outside. I mean, obviously, if you were-” Dean laughed and shook his head. “I need to get out more.”


	5. Chapter 5

John was washing the windshield of the motor home. Dean wasn’t exactly sure _why_ but the vampire had weird habits that seemed to calm him and Dean just went with it. He crossed the front lawn, knowing John knew he was there. Kicking out, Dean knocked his toes against the hubcap, staring down at the moon reflected on the metal surface.

“You mad at me?” He asked quietly after a while, glancing up at John with a faint smile.

Smiling slightly, John tossed the sponge he was holding back into the bucket of water and sighed. "No, Dean. I'm not _mad_ at you. I was just... I was-" John rubbed at his beard and leaned against the motor home. "I'm scared. I don't know if I can do all this without you."

Dean’s big idea about not telling anyone about Sam were about to fly out the window. Only because John was, to use a human term not nearly big enough to encompass it all, his best friend. “You won’t have to find that out. So stop sulking.”

"I what?" John looked up with a puzzled expression on his face and then his eyes widened slowly. "Did he..."

“He wants to go see his family for a few days, maybe say goodbye, or drink sunlight for the last time.” Dean shrugged, his soft smile returning. “I haven’t told everyone. I just, you know, worried about getting my hopes up I guess. But, you know, he asked me, I think he understands being apart isn’t much of an option.”

John stared at Dean for a few moments and then stepped forward slowly to grab the back of Dean's neck and pull him in to his arms. "God, Dean, that's- that's..." Stepping back again he ran his hand through his hair. "That's real good."

Laughing quietly, Dean nodded, sliding a hand along his side as if his palms really could sweat. “It is. I- you know, I feel for him, he’s got to give up so much. I hate that I have to ask him to do that. But he must really feel something because he said he would do the ceremony too.” Dean shrugged, smiling a little brighter at John. “He’s really kind of amazing.”

Smirking slightly, John bent over to pick up his sponge again and wring it out. “Yeah? Well, maybe your ass will be less miserable now.” Slapping the sponge against the motor home _hard_ John laughed when water splashed all over Dean.

Dean groaned and jumped back too late, turning his eyes down to his wet clothes. “What is with everyone today? I find a potential mate and everyone seems to forget that I’m still the clan leader?” But Dean was laughing as he grunted the words.

He brushed idly over his clothes then cleared his throat. “You know John, if something did happen to me, you’d make a great leader. Might not feel like it but seriously, you would.”

“Let’s just not test that theory, okay?” John smiled warmly and patted Dean’s shoulder. “‘Sides, I like being the carefree one.” Laughter burst out of him finally, and he swept the sponge across the window.

“Oh I see, so _that’s_ why you were really concerned. And here I was feelin’ all guilty. You’re awful. I’m going back in before your girl stills Sam away, she was eyein’ him pretty hungrily,” Dean mumbled, smirking when it seemed to have the desired affect and John tensed.

“Keep him away from her,” John muttered. “On second thought, I should probably come in as well.” Tossing the sponge back in the bucket John strode back toward the house.

Dean was still laughing softly as they headed through the house and into the kitchen. Sam had been served an omelet made by Bobby and Dean nudged John forward. “Mary your boy is jealous.” Let them tease someone else for a while.

“I’m not _jealous_ ,” John spat. He sank down into a chair near Mary and reached out for her hand.

“Oh John knows he has _nothing_ to worry about,” Mary said softly. Her fingers twined with John’s and she slid off her seat to sit on John’s lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed a trail of his kisses down John’s cheek.

Laughing softly, Dean shook his head and took the chair beside Sam, reaching out to lay a hand on his thigh. No matter what Sam may think, Dean had a feeling he’d fit in with his clan. He leaned over and kissed the corner of Sam’s mouth before settling back in his chair. Things would be good now.

o0o

The sun would be up in less than an hour, Dean knew this, but it didn’t make it any easier to leave. He’d driven Sam back to his place and was now lingering just because he had no real desire to let Sam out of his sight. “So,” he looked slowly around the apartment, fingers twitching together. “You um- wanna just come by when you’re home? Or call?”

“You know I’m coming back right?” Sam buttoned up the front of his shirt and then pushed his damp hair off his forehead. “I mean - to you. I’m coming back to _you_.”

“Yeah. Yes, of course I do.” Dean smiled briefly at him then stepped forward, knocking his hands away so he could finish up the buttons. “You know I’m just gonna miss you is all. Nothing wrong with that.” Weird? Most likely.

Sam stared down at Dean, and then curled his fingers over the vampire’s hands. “Two days at the most. I’m coming back to you - I don’t think you want to believe that.” Bending his knees slightly, Sam dropped down until Dean had no choice but to look him in the eye. “Promise that you believe me.”

“Sam,” Dean sighed softly and leaned forward until their forehead’s touched. “I do believe it. I just, got a long history, torrid affair with disappointment. But I know you feel for me, maybe love me in some ways, and I know you would never ask me to change you if you didn’t want it. I’m learning Sam, I’m getting there, okay?” Wetting his lips, Dean’s tongue flickered over Sam’s.

Nodding slowly, Sam curled both hands around Dean’s neck and held on tightly. “I’m _coming_ back. Two days and I’ll meet you at Bobby’s. Don’t leave without me, okay?” His lips pressed to Dean’s and he smiled.

He understood Dean’s hesitancy. He’d tried to imagine what it must be like for Dean - sending someone away that he’d waited a century for; not knowing if Sam would return. But, there was nothing else Sam could do. If he were going to live out a life with Dean then there were some things that he needed to do.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Dean whispered and clung to Sam just a little tighter. “You gonna be able to handle this?” He was worried for Sam, almost wishing he could tolerate the sunlight long enough to go with Sam.

The man shouldn’t have to do this alone. Hell, he shouldn’t have to do this at all. “Sam...” he whispered, not sure how to put an apology into words that wouldn’t sound harsh.

“I’ll figure it out,” Sam said softly. “Somehow. I mean, I have to say something right? Mark it somehow?” Sam had thought about it, it might not be the last time he spoke to his parents but it would be the last time he spoke to them as...himself.

“Tell them you love them. Maybe, tell them something you’ve been meaning to say but just hadn’t gotten around too. Even if it’s something stupid and small like you really did take the last cookie when you said you didn’t.” Dean smiled sadly and wished he could come up with a way to give Sam both lives, even though he supposed that was simply normality and Dean would never be that again. “Or just hug and kiss them. just in case.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, I think I’ll go with _just in case_.” He shrugged and finally stepped back. “So, do I look okay for a visit home?”

Forcing a slow nod, Dean reached up to smooth Sam’s hair down. “Yeah, I’d say you’re good to go. Guess I should back to Bobby’s, sun’s gonna be up pretty soon.” No part of him really wanted to go.

“Okay,” Sam said softly. Groaning, he slipped his arms around Dean’s waist once more and pulled him in to crush their lips together. He dipped down a little, almost curling his body around Dean’s and moaning. He didn’t want to go - it felt strange, like he was trying to _pull_ himself away.

Dean wouldn’t admit to how much he clung to Sam. _God_ the man wasn’t even officially his mate yet and just a few short days ago Dean was denying the possibility that he could be. Now? The potential of a life without him was sickening. His hand slid back into Sam’s hair, body pressing up against the man’s as he moaned into the desperate kiss.

Sam had to force himself back from the kiss and trembled slightly as he pressed his lips to Dean's hair. "You gotta go, want you to get to Bobby's safe. And the sooner I leave the sooner I can come back, right?"

Wetting his lips slowly to savor the taste of Sam, Dean dipped his head in a slow nod. “Yeah, that’s true. Drive safe. You put my number in your phone right? So you’ll call when you get to your parents? Just so I know you made it safe?” Dean smoothed down the collar of Sam’s shirt though it looked fine already.

Sam's laughter was gentle, not mocking and he reached up to still Dean's hands. "Just wait for me. I'll be back as soon as I can."

“You know I wouldn’t leave you. Not now that I’ve finally got you.” Dean forced himself to step back, teeth scraping over his lip until he nicked the skin and drew blood. “Okay,” he whispered, forcing another step. “I’ll... see you soon then.”

Drawing in a long breath Sam shoved his hands in his pockets so he would reach out for Dean again. "Real soon," he said.

o0o

Dean hadn’t gotten any sleep over the course of the day. He worried about Sam, how things would go for him, and maybe a little about whether he’d actually come back. Sure he believed the man. At the time. But when Sam got to his parents, had a real face to face about his consequences of turning, well...

It was just safe to say that Dean wouldn’t hold it against the man if he didn’t want to leave his family for good.

As soon as the sun set Dean was outside. He knew Sam wouldn’t be back that night but he still wanted to watch, just in case. Hours passed pacing across the gravel, perching on the edge of the roof, staring out down the unlit road.

Dean stared until his eyes were sore but he didn’t care. He just wanted Sam back.

"When you have a personal crisis..." John edged his way along the peak of the roof, "you think you could do it lower? Heights make me feel all weird."

Rolling his eyes, Dean huffed a laugh and shook his head. “I could shove you off this thing and you wouldn’t even break a bone. Why do they make you feel weird?” Dean could at least be grateful for the distraction.

"I dunno. I'm just meant to be on the ground or somethin'. You okay? You've been out here staring for a really long time. Mary's pacing inside." John made it to the chimney and held on tightly.

“Why is Mary pacing?” Dean asked since it was easier than trying to answer if he was okay or not. Glancing over his shoulder, Dean sighed and shook his head then jumped off the roof, landing easily on the ground below. “Come on John before you end up busting up Bobby’s house.”

"I hate you," John muttered under his breath. Prying his fingers off the chimney John closed his eyes and hesitated for a few moments then dropped from the roof. Landing in a crouch beside Dean he looked up and smiled wildly. "Piece of cake."

“Some day when I’m not preoccupied I am so giving you shit for being scared of heights. Just fair warning.” Dean smiled briefly at the man then shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked forward onto his toes. “So, Mary? Why is she pacing?”

“She’s worried about you... well, worrying. Apparently, it’s some female thing - I dunno, whatever - the point is - you’ve been out here staring and … why are you staring? He’s not coming back tonight, you know that.” John stood slowly and stretched his arms out.

“I just feel better out here.” Dean shrugged, rubbing along his back slowly, “Mary needs to do something, can’t you go distract her. Don’t you two need to feed at some point? It’s been a few days.”

“Come with us. For old times’ sake.” John shrugged and grinned. “Soon you’ll be a _married_ man and won’t be able to come out and play with us unsupervised.” Stepping forward he nudged Dean with his elbow. “Come on.”

“Feed?” Dean pursed his lips, trying to figure out if he could get over the _weird_ sensation that feeding off someone else now would be like being unfaithful to Sam. “I’m not sure Sam would like me feeding off another yet. After all, it’s not like we discussed any of that at all.”

"Hey," John threw his hands out. "He knows what you are and if you didn't talk about it then there are no rules yet. You can't just stay here and fret. Mary says there's nothing that could keep Sam from coming back."

“You know she has you wrapped around her pinkie right?” Dean eyed the man, content to focus on that fact instead of his own drama. Part of him felt tempted to call Sam and ask if it would be okay to go out and feed but that was kind of proving the point.

“Of course she does. And you have much the same to look forward to Mr. Staring-Up-The-Road. You’re staring because you’d love nothing more than to see Sam’s truck coming, right?” John folded his arms and stared up the road ahead of them.

Sighing, Dean rubbed at his eyes but there was really no point in denying it. “I’m scared,” he admitted instead, his voice quiet. “Never let myself think I’d make it past two hundred. And now it’s not even about that. I just... fuck. How can I possibly ever be enough for him?” Dean shook his head, annoyed with the emotion making his voice waver.

“Have you seen the way he looked at you?” John laughed softly and kept his gaze trained on the horizon in the distance. “You know he’s off right now, trying to begin the process of giving up everything to be with you. He’s alone and probably freaked out- but he’s doing this because he can’t stand the idea that he might have to be without you. And that’s after a couple of days.”

John was right, of course, he always tended to be the sane part of him when Dean struggled with human emotions. Sometimes he found himself worrying that he’d been a vampire and alone for too long to be relatable to anyone. “Should I have gone with him? Even if it meant hiding in some hotel or something during the day? I shouldn’t have forced him into doing this alone should I have?”

“You didn’t force him into anything. He has to figure it out on his own. You’re the one who’s always talking about how people should make their own decisions about changing. You’re letting him do that. It’s right and you know it. It just sucks to be away from him, that’s all.” Reaching out a hand, John squeezed Dean’s shoulder. “He’ll be back tomorrow.”

“I know.” Dean nodded, smiling briefly over at John then turning his gaze away. “Well, I guess. What did you want to do John? Go feed then see if we can take care of whatever the hell’s stealing bodies?” It was certainly easier than continuing this conversation that was getting them nowhere fast.

“Sure, everyone else is suited up and ready.” John smirked when Dean glanced over at him. “I told them you’d be coming with us.” He shrugged.

Rolling his eyes, Dean huffed quietly and shook his head. “Of course you did. For that alone I should just send you lot off solo. Not like you couldn’t handle whatever it is.”

“Come on, the women like watching you get all butch and bossy. Give them some enjoyment. You know, something to gush about till Sam comes back.” John winked when Dean looked over at him.

“Who are you and what have you done with John?” Dean’s brows rose. “Or did Mary feed you that line? Butch and bossy? Seriously?” He snorted and bumped his shoulder into John’s as he turned back to the house. He still didn’t like the idea of feeding off someone other than Sam before the man was a vampire but he’d need the extra strength for defeating whatever the creature was.

John slung his arm over Dean’s shoulders. “You sure think Mary has a lot of influence over me. I mean, seriously, Dean. You should know that I’m definitely the one in charge.

This pulled a genuine laugh from Dean and he shook his head, arm hooking around John’s shoulder and dragging him into the house. “You just keep telling yourself that,” he muttered through his laughter, allowing himself to be distracted the rest of the way.

o0o

Sam's visit with his parents was strange. While he was leaning over the kitchen counter stealing cookies off the baking tray fresh out of the oven he had told his mother that he'd found a man - someone that he wanted to spend his life with. She had smiled, warm and loving and asked for details and Sam had told her what he could. More than details _about_ Dean he found himself talking about the way he felt. It was what he had; a feeling deep inside him, burning and rich, swirling and growing.

Out in the garage, Sam had helped his dad put some drywall up. There'd been a flood earlier that Spring and his folks had been lucky, escaping with only some minor damage to the garage. Sam had laughed and smiled as his father told him, for the thousandth time, the story of how he'd met Sam's mother. It was a good story and Sam didn't mind. A moment of kismet in a lifetime of comings and goings; Sam's parents had reached for the exact same record album at the exact same time in a small store. Their fingers had touched and Sam's Dad had thought that maybe he was about to meet the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

The funny part of visiting his parents, the strange part - was that of everyone in Sam's life - they would probably understand if he could tell them the truth. They'd believed enough in _fate_ and serendipity to go on a first date after just ending up holding the same small square of cardboard in a random store. They would understand.

The thing was, Sam couldn't figure out a way to actually tell them what was going to happen to him. It wasn't difficult to speak to them about Dean. It wasn't even the difficult to speak to them about the fact that Dean's job meant they would be traveling a lot. But _vampires_? You just don't go home on a casual visit and tell your parents that you're going to become a _monster_.

While Sam was in that familiar house - the exact same home that he grew up in - he kept thinking of questions to ask Dean. _Would he still feel the same after he changed? Would he still love his parents enough to want to come back and see them? Would Dean ever change his mind? Would he want someone other than Sam one day?_

While he was taking out the garbage for his mom for possibility the last time ever, Sam found himself thinking about how little he and Dean knew about each other and how it didn't matter. His heart ... his soul ... knew Dean and he knew that he was doing the right thing simply _because_ of how it felt. It just felt odd to be doing so many mundane, every-day tasks while he had so much yet to come.

As soon as he was in the truck, he rolled the window down and waved to his parents. He pulled out of the driveway just the same way he always did, slowly, watching for Bob Adams' truck. The old man always sped down the road. He'd nearly clipped Sam more than once when he was a little kid and didn't know better than to stay out of the road.

His Mom did what she always did and disappeared inside first. She always said she didn't like saying good-bye to Sam; if she just went inside she could pretend that it was like the good old days when Sam was heading off to College and he'd be back for dinner.

His father stood there in the fading daylight; beer clutched in his hand, glasses up on the top of his head. And that might be Sam's last image. It might be one of the last times he saw his parents and his childhood home.

Once he hit the freeway, Sam sped. He just wanted to get back to Dean, ease the _pull_ he'd been feeling since the moment he drove away. It didn't ease as he got closer to Bobby's, in fact, it felt stronger - like a thick sense of _longing_ that was clogging up his veins. Sam was glad he'd picked up most of his things from his place before heading over to Bobby's because the idea of stopping there and putting more time between him and Dean felt wrong.

The lights were all on in Bobby's house and Sam's lips twitched into a smile. He pulled up near the front porch and turned off the truck, sliding out of the cab and heading for the front steps quickly. The door creaked as he pulled it open and he called out up the stairs. "Dean? I’m back."

Dean had felt Sam coming and only Mary grabbing his arm kept him from waiting out in the driveway. He would have pulled away but they were talking to Bobby about the monster they’d found, trying to put a name to it by description of death alone just so they could be sure the thing didn’t have a mate or offspring somewhere. But when the door opened and he heard Sam call his name he finally tugged from Mary and nearly ran from the living room.

He rounded the corner quickly, immediately stepping into Sam’s space and gathering him close, their lips crashing hard together. It was like he’d finally remembered how to breathe and it was a little terrifying to feel just how sharply he’d missed Sam now that he had him back. He moaned instantly into the kiss, tongue sliding forward as if he needed to remind them both how perfect this was.

Sam's heart thudded out a steady beat as his hands moved over Dean's body. They slid straight down Dean's back, to slip into his back pockets and curled into the muscles under the denim. "I came back," he whispered into the kiss.

“I knew you would,” Dean whispered back, laughing softly as Sam made a disbelieving noise. “I completely did. Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you every second you were gone.” He was crazy thinking he actually could have been okay without Sam in his life. “How did it go? How are you?”

“Tired, terrified, confused, happy to see you, glad to be back,” Sam said quietly. For just a few moments he buried his face in Dean’s neck and breathed slowly. “How is everyone?” His lips moved just slightly against Dean’s cool flesh.

Hands running slowly through Sam’s hair than down his back, Dean held him close, not sure if he’d be able to let him go for the rest of the night. “Everyone’s good. We were just discussing our night; we tracked this creature after we fed, not sure if you’ve heard about the bo-” Dean cut off as Sam’s body tensed against his, his brows pulling together in a frown. “What is it?”

“You fed?” Sam had mixed feelings about that statement and wasn’t entirely sure which one to focus on. “Oh, I -” He frowned and stepped back slightly. Why had he thought that wouldn’t be something that Dean would do with someone else? All Sam could think about was Dean’s mouth on someone else’s neck and the pleasure they would have felt, the gentle, sweet sounds that Dean made when he was sucking up the blood. “Where’s Mary and John? I should say hi.”

“Sam, wait.” Dean caught his arm before he could turn, frowning as he tugged him back. “Did... I needed too, for the energy, because we were going to hunt the creature. It didn’t mean anything, it was necessity.” Dean had _known_ this was going to happen. Sam wasn’t a vampire yet, he didn’t understand how feedings could be different. “I never touched the man outside biting him, I promise.”

"It's okay, Dean." Sam smiled slightly and looked down, scratching at the side of his neck. "Is Bobby around? I brought him some of my Mom's cookies. Thought he might like the sugar rush." Sam's heart felt like it was being flayed apart, a sickening twist of jealously making the bile creep up his throat.

For a long minute Dean just stared up at Sam then he dropped his hand, releasing the man. “Everyone is in the kitchen.” He knew it wasn’t okay, he could _feel_ it, but if Sam wouldn’t talk about it then there wasn’t anything he could do.

“Okay, you comin’ in?” Sam walked backwards toward the sound of voices in the kitchen and swung his bag down off his shoulder. He tugged out a plastic tub full of cookies and turned at the last moment. “Bobby! I brought you cookies,” Sam said softly.

Dean stayed in the hall, listening as Bobby called out, “cookies! Sam I liked ya already but I’ll take the bribery.” He felt like he’d screwed up somehow, he’d upset Sam, maybe he’d even _hurt_ Sam, and he felt foolish for going against his better instincts the night before. Hardly five minutes into the return of his future mate and Dean was questioning himself all over again. How in the world was he ever going to make this work if he screwed up so many times already?

“Sam, you came just in time, I was just about to tell Bobby how I cut this thing’s arm off with an axe.” Jo bounced in her seat, grinning proudly.

“You guys cut the arms off things?” Sam’s face paled a little and he sank down into one of the chairs.

John laughed. “Not all the time, Jo missed its head.” He rolled his eyes. “Dean! Get in here.”

It took a great deal of effort for Dean to actually get himself to move but by the time he’d stepped back into the kitchen he’d schooled back his expression, eyeing the chair beside Sam but going to look at the cookies Bobby was picking over instead.

“I did _not_ miss its head, the thing had arms that were like, seven feet tall,” Jo scoffed indignantly.

Bobby coughed on a piece of cookie. “I’ll be sure to add that to the description of the beast. Next you’ll be saying it had five eyes or somethin’ too.”

Mary leaned over and broke off a piece of cookie so she could sniff it. “It was _me_ who figured out where the thing was. If it weren’t for me all of you would be licking your wounds right now.” She grinned and held the cookie up under John’s nose.

Waving Mary’s hand away, John laughed. “You’re so tough Mary. What would we do without her, Dean?”

Sam grinned and folded his arms across his chest. It didn’t matter how tightly he squeezed he could still feel the ache there.

A smile twitched on and off Dean’s lips and he shrugged. “We’d be helpless I’m sure,” he muttered, scratching at his jaw and staring at the back of Sam’s head. “‘Scuse me,” he nearly breathed the words, turning and heading out of the room once more.

“What’s goin’ on?” Bobby asked Dean’s retreating form then looked over at Sam with a confused frown.

Sam kept his gaze on the table and shrugged. “Guess he didn’t miss me,” he said softly. When he looked up to find everyone staring at him, he forced a smile.

“Say what?” John leaned on the table and stared across at Sam with a scowl on his face.

“John,” Mary whispered.

“He’s been moping around here from the moment you left,” Bobby said, tugging off his hat to rub along his scalp.

“Not just here, he was moping last night. Hell, if I hadn’t gone for that arm that thing would have landed a nasty blow on him.” Jo added, glancing over her shoulder than looking back at Sam. “You two get in a fight? God, you’ve been here like, five seconds.”

Sam dragged a hand down his face and looked from one pale face to the next. “He drank from someone else.”

John’s mouth fell open and Mary sat back in her chair.

“Well,” Bobby cleared his throat after a few silent moments. “Yeah, Sam, of course he did. Just like you will when you’re a vampire. You won’t be able to provide him nourishment when you’re turned. He just did what he had too.” Bobby snorted and shrugged. “Kinda crude but when you break it down Sam; it’s kinda no different from us eatin’ a steak.”

“ _Kinda crude?_ ” Jo repeated with a smirk and arched brow.

“It wasn’t crude at all when Dean-” Sam looked up and his expression softened. “It just felt special and I didn’t know it would be...” Sam had no idea that he’d be sharing that part of Dean with other people.

“Oh Honey, it’s not that same.” Mary was holding John’s hand and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Didn’t Dean talk to you about that?”

“We didn’t do a lot of talking,” Sam said quickly.

“Yeah well it’s really-”

“Enough.” Dean interrupted Jo, the word sharp and clipped and the girl’s jaw instantly clenched shut. He leaned against the door frame, sliding his fingers over the back of his neck and massaging slowly. “I’m sorry Sam, I thought you understood that vampire’s needed to feed to survive. I also thought you would just understand the difference in when I drink from you as opposed to when I drink simply to revive my energy. I should have explained better.”

Pushing his chair back quickly, Sam stood and headed over to Dean. Grabbing the vampire’s hand as he passed him, he yanked Dean along behind him as he headed up the stairs. Shoving the door open, Sam tugged Dean inside and kicked the door closed. Panting, Sam dug his fingers hard into Dean’s wrist. “Anything else I need to know?”

Still startled from Sam’s sudden movement, Dean blinked a few times then wet his lips. “He didn’t taste anywhere near as amazing as you do?” Dean said quietly, almost like a question, as if this might be what Sam wanted to hear. He would have held his breath if he could, eyes fixed hard on Sam. “You know, when you’re a vampire, it’ll be an erotic thing to feed together. Or, you know, so John says.” Dean shrugged weakly.

"Drink from me now," Sam whispered. Crossing his arms he pulled his t-shirt up off over his head and dropped it to the floor. "Now, I want it now." All he could think about was Dean's mouth on someone else's skin. "I need it."

Sam's hair fell forward and he stepped closer, fingers finding their way along Dean's waistband. Pulling roughly at Dean's belt, Sam struggled with the button then slid his hands higher to push impatiently at Dean's shirt. "Now, please."

Moaning low in his throat, Dean nodded and pressed forward, arm circling around Sam’s waist and drawing him in tighter. “I’m glad you do, need it that is,” he murmured before dipping his head down, sucking along Sam’s skin almost teasingly.

As the man began to squirm against him Dean sucked in a large lungful of his scent, noting how badly he’d been craving it. He felt the hitch of Sam’s breath and before the man could say anything more his teeth sank forward, sharp coppery liquid spilling instantly over his tongue and Dean moaned louder.

The pain of it was exactly what Sam wanted. The subtle pinch of Dean's bite and then the flood of release as his blood moved into Dean's mouth. "I wanted, I wanted to be everything for you," Sam murmured. His hands were everywhere on Dean's body, shifting over the soft material of the vampire's shirt then down to dip under it and brush over his cool skin.

Dean growled and surged forward, spinning Sam in one hard twist. He slammed the man up against the door, suddenly lost in the desire to show the man that he was absolutely _everything_. His hand skittered down Sam’s sides, fangs digging deeper; to the point where he knew it had to hurt but couldn’t get himself to stop. Hips rocking hard forward, Dean pulled Sam’s leg up around his thigh,

Sam let out a soft cry, low and deep and dug his nails into the back of Dean's shoulders. "Jesus," he hissed.

His nails scratched their way down the vampire's back and pushed at the denim at his hips. "Fuck me," Sam whispered into the man's hair. "Please." Sam had thought of nothing else since he'd walked into Bobby's house. As soon as Dean's hands were on him, he wanted more.

Another growl fell from Dean and that wasn’t much of a shock anymore. His fingers clawed down Sam’s back until he was touching the top of denim. The minute the button was free and the zipper was down Dean tore back from Sam’s neck, stepping back from him but catching the open flap of denim.

He dragged Sam away from the door and crushed their lips together, stumbling back toward the bed. He’d known how much he missed his future mate but right then the desire for him slammed so hard through him Dean felt dizzy. “God I want you,” he gasped into the kiss, shoving his hand under the material to get it to fall off Sam’s hips.

Sam's leg kicked out to the side as he tried to shuck off his jeans then he fell back onto the bed and twisted against the cool sheets. His hand reached out toward Dean. "C'mon," he almost whined. He didn't care what it came out sounding like he was begging; he _would_ beg if that was what it took.

Instead of making another sound, Sam turned over and pulled one leg up. He curled his hands into the sheets and rolled his aching cock down against the mattress.

“None of that.” Dean growled and stepped forward, grabbing Sam at the hips and yanking him up. His fingers curled in Sam’s hair and he tugged until the man had no choice but to straighten up, falling back against his chest. Dean spoke into his ear, free hand sliding along the man’s front so he could curl his fingers loosely over Sam’s cock and stroke slowly up.

“M’gonna fuck you Sam, but only if you’re on your best behavior before then. Still gotta get me naked after all.” Dean half smirked as he slid his lips down the curve of Sam’s neck, biting down just where neck met shoulder.

Weak and feeling boneless, Sam leaned his head back on Dean's shoulder and moaned. His hips moved back and forth slowly, cock sliding through Dean's grip. "Dean," he whispered. His hand gripped Dean's thigh and curled hard into the denim. "Please," he said softly.

Between the two of them they somehow managed to get Dean out of the rest of his clothing. He really couldn’t recall how, considering his fist stayed curled around Sam’s shaft and his lips continued to suck blood in slow, long pulls from him.

Then he licked over the wound, sealing off the bite and releasing the man. In one swift move he pushed his future mate down on the bed then tugged him up to his hands and knees, spreading his legs wide and dipping forward. Of course they kept getting into situations where Dean didn’t feel like hunting down a bottle of lube, this time he didn’t stop to even think about it. His fingers dug into the globes of Sam’s ass, spreading him wide as he moved forward and laved his tongue slow, hard over the puckered flesh.

"Jesus _Christ_ ," Sam spat. He lurched forward and then instantly rocked back into the cool, slick, swipes of Dean's tongue. No one had touched him like that before and Sam felt a little like his skin was trying to crawl off his body. The sheet bunched up in his hands and Sam pulled hard on it; spine arching as Dean's tongue worked wet against his sensitive skin.

Dean didn’t take as much time as he might have liked licking Sam open. He wanted to be in him too badly, so he slicked his finger and slid it forward, licking around the digit, riding out each twist and writhe of Sam’s body. Sam was so burning hot like this, begging and pleading, wanting Dean just as badly as Dean wanted him.

He shoved his second and third finger into the tight heat of the man and drew back slightly, lips running over Sam’s smooth skin. “God I love you like this. You’d let me take you right now wouldn’t you? I can feel you practically humming with want for me.”

"D-Don't, Jesus, please..." Sam's words tumbled out; his mind spinning so fast he could hardly make sense of what was going on. What he did know was that if Dean didn't fuck him soon, Sam was going to go completely out of his fucking mind. Just thinking about that thick, cool, cock sliding into him, sent a shiver running down his spine.

After a few more hasty thrusts of his fingers Dean pulled free, moaning even as he slicked his hand down his cock. Sam was shaking just slightly beneath him and Dean grasped his hip, dragging him back so his feet hung off the bed. Dean’s calves came to rest on the edge of the mattress as he lined himself up with one hand and slowly breached the man, biting hard down on his bottom lip to keep up the tortuously slow pace down into his lover.

Sam's body clenched, his muscles tightening around Dean's girth. The burning sent ripples of awareness up Sam's body and his arms collapsed. Face down on the bed, back arched, skin tingling; Sam moaned and pushed back. As soon as Dean started to move, Sam's body was caught up in a violent shudder. "God," he murmured.

It was hard, desperate, fast, and more perfect than it had been before though Dean could hardly fathom why. Like things between them would always be just a little bit better than the time before. Dean dug his fingers into Sam’s hips as he fucked hard against the man, everything sparking within him. He could listen to Sam’s soft keens forever but he wanted to hear him call out with pleasure so he angled his hips, driving in hard over and over until he hit that sweet spot deep within the man.

"God, _fuck_ , Dean-" Sam's words caught in his throat. His body was rocking hard back and he tried to push back up on to his arm. He fell again and cried out in frustration as he clawed at the sheet. "Dean, please - I want-" He moaned loudly as heat shot through his body with each and every thrust of Dean's hard cock.

Dipping down, Dean’s hips stutter thrusted for just a moment before his arm hooked around Sam’s middle and dragged them both back up. It changed the angle, sending Dean impossibly deep into his lover even as he was half twisting the man so their lips could crush together. He was vaguely aware of the other vampires in the house who might hear Sam call out and it only made him thrust harder, tongue slipping into Sam’s mouth in a contrasting tenderness.

Sam let out a loud moan and clutched at Dean's hand. His lips parted eagerly and he drew Dean's cool tongue into his mouth, sucking on it and biting down hard enough to pull a hiss from his lover. Each of Dean's thrust sent Sam closer and closer to pitching over the edge into _pure_ pleasure. "Dean, I-"

As Sam's lips brushed the words on Dean's mouth he shivered. His balls ached and he tried everything to hold onto his pleasure; hold back the release that was pressing forward.

“Come with me Sam,” Dean growled, nudging Sam’s head to the side. His own orgasm was only moments away so Dean acted fast. His fingers curled to stroke around Sam’s cock, twisting and squeezing in time with his deep thrusts. His lips parted over Sam’s neck and he bit down on the path he knew Sam was most sensitive, sucking hard at the gush of blood that filled his mouth. His hips snapped hard forward and his orgasm began to burn through his veins.

All the air burst out of Sam's lungs as he cried out. His knees gave out and he collapsed back against Dean's body knowing his lover would hold him up. Come splashed over their hands and across his belly as he moaned. A trickle of blood tickled its way down past Sam's nipple and his body jolted forward; curling hard with each pulse of pleasure.

Dean’s thrusts slowed as his orgasm began to ebb off, his teeth withdrawing from the tightly corded muscle. Dean licked slowly along the skin, hips occasionally twitching forward. Sam was boneless against him, still panting with the sporadic soft whimper and louder keen when Dean pulled free and gently laid him onto his back.

Smiling down at his lover, Dean crawled up over Sam onto the bed and dipped down, licking at the salty bitter combination of blood and come on Sam’s chest. He moaned at the taste, deciding right then and there that he was going to clean every inch of Sam’s chest.

"Ohh," Sam breathed. His arm flopped across Dean's shoulder and curled up into his lover's hair. Each swipe of Dean's tongue set all of Sam's nerves afire again and he could feel goose bumps crawling across his skin. "Dean."

Dean smiled against Sam’s chest before resuming each slow slip slide of his tongue up the man’s abs. He loved the lingering sparks of desire lighting up in him, loved the taste of the man, and he was almost a little disappointed when Sam was clean.

Until of course he climbed up higher and his lips gently brushed over his lover’s. “You’re amazing,” he whispered into the kiss, sinking to Sam’s side and tipping him into the kiss once more by finger tips pressing along his future mate’s jaw.

Warmth swelled inside Sam's chest and he looped his arm around Dean's neck to hold him close. Laughing softly, Sam closed his eyes against the spinning room. "M'dizzy," he muttered into Dean's soft hair.

“Means I did good,” Dean whispered, tucking his arm around Sam. “I love you Sam,” he breathed, even though he was certain Sam already knew it. Maybe Dean just liked saying it, having never really said it before in his life. “And not just because you let me fuck you as hard as I want. Though that doesn’t hurt.”

Sam laughed again, fingers tightening in Dean's hair. "Me too," he said quietly.

“Say it,” Dean nearly growled, a little concerned with how sharp the words sounded. Blowing out a low breath, Dean lifted up a little, pulling, even with Sam’s fingers still clutched in his hair. “Never heard it really said before by anyone so, yeah.” Dean smiled weakly; half shrugged and dropped back down again.

Sam just stared for a while, his gaze locked with Dean's; fingers tight in the golden brown hair. His lips twitched into a smile, then it faded and he wet his lips nervously. "I love you."

“Thank you,” Dean whispered and sighed. “That- I’m sorry. That probably sounded horrible.” He found it harder to think about what he was saying when he was around Sam.

"What? You wanting to hear if or you thanking me? But for the record, I'm fine with both." Sam smiled and loosened his grip on Dean's hair so his hand could settle on the vampire's chest. "I thought about you a lot while I was gone."

“Yeah? Good thoughts?” Dean murmured, gently stroking his hand down through Sam’s hair and over his back. He thought about Sam a lot too of course, pretty much always. “What kind of thinking?”

Sam's smile faltered slightly as he thought of his mother moving around her kitchen counter to hug him. "Told my mom about you."

Swallowing thickly, Dean dipped his head in a slow nod. He hadn’t wanted to bring up Sam’s parents, just in case it upset the man, but he was curious. “Yeah? Was she okay or um, happy for you?”

Sam took in a deep breath and pressed his lips together for a few moments. When he turned to look at Dean he felt that hollow feeling inside; the unknown. "She said it sounded like I was in love and that she'd waited a long time to hear that in my voice. She said she always hoped I would find it. She figures that not everyone does." As he spoke Sam moved a little closer to his lover.

“Well, that’s, I’m glad she’s supportive.” Dean nodded, fingers pressing against Sam’s back. “We can still see them again Sam. Sure, the circumstances will be different, but you wouldn’t be the first vampire to visit his parents after their change.” Dean hated how sad and _off_ Sam sounded.

"I know. It was just ... I guess it felt like a lot of _lasts_. Maybe the last time I'll steal one of my mom’s cookies or help my dad with some work around the house. Just stuff like that." Sam closed his eyes and stretched out a little more on the bed.

“I’m sorry Sam,” Dean whispered, this time apologizing that he was the reason for Sam’s sadness. “There’s... you know, there’s still time. We don’t have to; we could wait, for a little while. You, if you wanted to you could stay at your parents for a week or something?” Dean _hated_ the idea but he’d do what he had to for Sam.

"I'm not trying to make you feel like shit, it is what it is. You know? My mom would tell me to choose this ...you, us." Sam smiled again and rolled until he was lying across Dean’s body.

Dean wasn’t sure he could classify their relationship in any terms that would fit under _it is what it is_ but he knew the difference. Sam was going on the wisp of a feeling, he thought it was strong so he clutched to it. He had no idea what he was in store for emotion wise once he was a vampire. “Okay,” he murmured, lips pressed to Sam’s temple.

“Why’d you never change Bobby?” Sam’s hand smoothed along Dean’s skin and he slid his leg over both of the vampires.

The question surprised Dean and he blinked a few times then looked over at Sam. “It wasn’t something either of us wanted. I- it’s one thing to change to be with your mate you know? But it’s entirely different to change just because. Bobby and I discussed it when he was about twenty or so and decided he would just be better off human.”

Sam frowned and turned to press his lips to Dean’s chest. “But I’ll be better off with you, right?” Maybe he wanted Dean to tell him everything was going to work out fine and that he was making the best decision - Sam had no idea where the question came from.

“God, Sam, you have no idea.” Dean laughed softly, fingers massaging along Sam’s temple. “You know that pull you feel now? When you’re a vampire, when we’re bound together, it’s going to be like that pull finally managed to permanently connect us. We’ll be able to feel what the other is feeling even if we’re miles apart, we’ll be able to communicate through one look alone, and it’ll always be there. Even if we live thousands of years we’ll still feel just as strongly for each other. And then there’s the whole fact that you’re saving my life.”

“Thousands of years,” Sam echoed quietly. He found that amount of time too expansive to even comprehend. It wasn’t until a few days ago that Sam had even thought beyond living until he was in his seventies. “Tell me about when...when it happened to you.”

“I met a guy; we hooked up for two weeks. It was intense, he was _intense_ ,” Dean closed his eyes and said the words quietly, almost flatly. Sometimes these conversations with Sam made his chest ache.

“I didn’t think much about him avoiding the sun, or not eating a lot. It was the early 1800s, I’d run from my father’s home and was doing a lot of sneaking around to find a partner for the night, so the fact that someone had stayed... anyway. One morning I woke and everything felt different. I could hear everything, the rats under the floorboards even, and I was alone.”

Blinking his eyes open, Dean stared up at the ceiling, too easily getting lost in the feelings from that first morning, even if two hundred years had passed since then. “So I learned that day that the sun burned. It took me nearly a month to work up the courage to leave my apartment. I was sick, maybe as near death as a vampire got, then a man stopped to help me in the alley. I... I killed him, without even realizing what I was doing. I guess I had to learn everything myself. Back then I couldn’t even put a name to what I was, just that I couldn’t die apparently.” Dean shrugged, not sure he could explain any more.

“He left you alone?” Sam pushed up onto his elbow, gazing down at Dean. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that? Did he think you were his mate?”

“No, now that I’m completely on the other side of it I don’t think he did. I think... maybe he got carried away. Maybe he drank too much of me and it was either kill me completely or change me. Maybe he was too young, didn’t know how to handle it. I guess I’ll never know. It was terrifying though.” Dean sighed and shrugged, looking up at Sam. “Part of the reason I needed you to ask, because I could never just take that from someone, not without them knowing what it means.”

Nodding slowly, Sam frowned. “Are there things you miss?”

“Honestly?” Dean looked away and blew out a low breath. “I don’t remember being human. I do remember being sad and lonely quite often. I didn’t have a good life. If I miss anything I guess it would be food.” He laughed softly and shrugged once more.

“No eating at all?” Sam leaned down and rubbed his nose against Dean’s chest to relieve an itch. “Not even tastes?”

Sighing, Dean closed his eyes again. he kept having the weirdest moments of guilt about changing Sam, so much so he wasn’t even sure he’d ever really been _happy_ about it. “You can eat if you want, it just won’t do anything for you. You can taste things, but they’re not nearly as strong as they should be.”

“Thank _God_. ‘Cause no cookies, that might be a deal-breaker.” Sam smiled and nudged at Dean when the vampire didn’t return his smile. “What’s wrong? You feel all wrong.” Sam flushed when he realized what he’d said even though it was true. Something just felt _off_.

“I feel like I’m killing you,” Dean said flatly and the basic truth was, Dean _was_ killing him. “You know what I’m doing Sam? God, taking away your ability to be in the sun, to enjoy food, to have a family someday. What do you get? Constant darkness, cold, fighting evil, drinking blood, and-”

Sam flinched back slightly at the vampire's words and lifted his fingers to cover Dean's lips. "And you. I get you." He gave Dean a few moments for the words to sink in and pushed himself over Dean's body so he was straddling his hips then settled down against the cool chest. "You said the clan would be my family, but you - you're the most important reason. The _only_ reason I need to do this... leaving you was horrible. Even knowing that I would be back in days. It hurt. I don't want to feel that again."

“Is that really enough?” Dean breathed, hands sliding over Sam’s back. “I hated not having you around and it would quite literally kill me if I lost you but I hold no pretense about what I am. I have two hundred years of living in the cold, not sure what kind of mate I’ll be.”

"You're doing pretty well so far. And I'm sure Mary will help me learn how to keep you in line." Sam tilted his chin up and smiled. "You're really enough. I can't even explain to you how bad it felt to drive away from you."

“Well I can understand how bad it felt to watch you drive away.” Dean smiled softly down at his future mate, tucking hair back behind his ear. “We’re gonna be good. I- I’m gonna give you a great life, I promise.” He would do everything he could to make life good for Sam, to make him not miss the things he was giving up. “And hey, there’s always the amazing sex.”

"It's pretty hot," Sam agreed. "Really, a lot - hot." He wriggled his hips slightly and rested his cheek on Dean's chest. "I'm sleeping here. No options." His fingers slid up to Dean's cheek and he felt the vampire’s smile.

“Never was a doubt in my mind about that. Wasn’t gonna let you go.” Dean hummed the words, arm tightening around Sam and holding him there. “When will it happen?” He asked softly, thumb tracing down Sam’s jaw.

“When?” Sam yawned sleepily and rubbed his cheek against Dean’s chest. “As soon as you can,” he mumbled.

Heat rushed through Dean and he closed his eyes, pressing his lips to the top of Sam’s head. “Soon then,” he whispered, laughing softly from excitement a moment later. He smacked Sam’s shoulder lightly, faint smirk on his lips. “Stop being such a girl about things, _god_.”

Sam let out a little snort and swatted weakly at Dean's hand. "M'sleepin'."

Dean sat in silence for a full two minutes then sighed, shaking his head. “Sam, it’s the middle of the night, I’m wide awake. Entertain me.” He kind of liked the idea of teasing Sam and he dragged him up his chest, dipping down to nuzzle the man’s neck.

"God, in two hundred years you haven't figured out how to entertain yourself?" Sam laughed and slid off Dean's body, rolling away and yanking the blankets up over his head. "Didn't sleep while I was away from you - m'tired." His voice was muffled under the blanket and he laughed again.

Wiggling under the blanket, Dean crawled over to Sam, fingers questing out to tickle along the man’s sides. “I didn’t sleep either, you can make it to sunrise, I know it.” Dean grinned, blowing a raspberry on Sam’s belly. He thought it was about time Sam see the playful and loving side of him.

Letting out a full on belly laugh, Sam wrestled with the covers and the vampire for a few moments before squirming out from under him. Rolling quickly Sam turned back and sank his teeth into Dean's shoulder and growled.

Even if Sam’s teeth couldn’t break the skin Dean jerked up toward him, head tipping back with a moan. “Can’t wait for you to bite me,” he murmured, fingers digging into Sam’s sides. “You know, you’re gonna have to fuck me, you given much thought to that?” Dean grinned then rolled them, pinning Sam down to the mattress with a satisfied smirk.

Struggling, Sam kicked and pulled trying to get free. He knew it was useless. As strong as Sam was, the vampire was stronger but Dean didn't seem to mind Sam expending all the energy to try. "Not like I've never..." Sam smirked and looked away slightly, hair falling over his eyes. "You're my only..."

Pulling back a little, Dean stared down at Sam, brows lifting curiously. “Your only what?” He shifted to one hand to brush Sam’s hair back out of his eyes. Even if it gave the man a chance to get the upper hand, Dean enjoyed being about to see into his lover’s eyes.

Sam knocked Dean's supporting hand out from under him and rolled them again, catching Dean's legs between both of his. "Not telling you," he teased, "my secret." Nibbling at the back of Dean's neck, Sam laughed when the vampire wriggled.

“No secrets allowed between us,” Dean murmured as his head dipped back. He could easily flip Sam back over but he kind of liked this, right here. “C’mon Sam, your only _what_?”

Humming quietly, Sam nosed Dean's hair out of the way and lapped at the cool flesh there. "Only person I bottomed to." He punctuated the end of his sentence with a strong bite on the corded muscle that ran down the side of Dean's neck.

That thought alone sent heat curling thick through Dean and he moaned as he arched up against Sam. “God, that’s- you just gave it up to me, before you even knew who I was. You wanted me in you even then.” Dean lifted to nip at Sam’s neck, finger tips moving along the man’s back. “Wanna know something?”

“What?” Sam shifted back so Dean could roll forward into the circle of his arms. “I wanna know everything.”

“You’ll be the first I bottomed to as well.” Dean laughed softly. “It’s almost like fate.”

“It is,” Sam whispered. He leaned toward Dean and their lips brushed together. “Although - I really like you fucking me,” he almost whispered.

“Don’t worry, that won’t be changing. We’ll just know we have options,” Dean murmured with a soft laugh then rolled Sam over, pinning him down into the mattress and kissing him deeply. He wanted to change Sam _now_ and he couldn’t wait for their future together. “Friday,” he gasped as he pulled back, staring down at Sam. “Two days. We’ll do it then.”

Even though Sam didn’t actually want to move he tried to twist free. It was hot, knowing that Dean could hold him there - Sam had never experienced that with a lover before. He felt the way his neck and cheeks warmed as he thought about it. "Yes, Friday. Two days," he answered thickly. Two days.

“Good.” Dean grinned down at Sam then slid down for another deep kiss. It was going to be a long two days but it was going to be so worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

On Friday night Dean left with John at sunset to pick a man for the ceremony. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about the plan but they would keep the man drugged all night then return him to his home before sunrise. The poor guy would likely write everything off to an amazing night where he’d just had one drink too many. John wooed the man outside while Dean was waiting in the shadows, until he stepped up behind up and covered the man’s mouth with a rag until the body slumped in his arms.

When he returned to Bobby’s John carried the man downstairs as Dean inspected the herbs Bobby had been crushing for him to take after the change. Jo and Nick had already left to rejoin the clan; John and Mary had agreed to clean Sam’s apartment and hang out there until they came to collect the unconscious man before sunrise.

After ensuring everything was in order, Dean headed upstairs to the bedroom. He was changing Sam in private, he wanted to do as much as possible alone only involving Bobby when it was required.

Sam was sitting shirtless on the bed, staring down at his hands, and Dean smiled softly. “Are you okay?” He asked quietly, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small baggie. He and Bobby had spent the last two days pouring over the ritual, just to make sure they covered everything, and he’d learned that there was something he had to do to Sam as well. It brought a smirk to his lips just thinking about it. “You look scared,” he murmured, crossing the room slowly as he slipped his shoes off.

Smiling warily, Sam looked up slowly. "Not every day I die," he said softly. "I'm a little scared but I know you'll be here so that's ... that's good." His fingers itched to be on Dean's skin and Sam stood, padding over on bare feet to press in against Dean's side. "You?"

“I couldn’t possibly be more excited.” Dean smiled, a little sadly, brushing his fingers back through Sam’s hair. “Don’t think of it as dying, okay? It is, in a way, I get that but it’s more than that okay?” Dean nuzzled along Sam’s skin under his jaw, kissing him softly.

“Will it hurt?” Sam felt like they’d been over everything a thousand times but he supposed it was one of those things that defied description.

Dean wet his lips, hesitating for a moment then dipping his head in a slow nod. “Part of it, yes. When your body dies, that’s gonna hurt. But it’ll be over quick, and then everything’s going to be amazing.” Fingers sliding down Sam’s body, Dean rolled the man’s nipple slowly under his thumb. “I need to pierce you where I mark you.”

“What?” Sam’s hand moved up reflexively to cover his nipple. “Now, death is one thing...” He felt his eyes widen as he saw a dark glint in Dean’s eyes. “You’re evil,” he said softly with a half-smile tugging at his lips.

“It’s fucking hot,” Dean murmured, grinning up at Sam. “You’ll be so into everything at that point you won’t even notice, I promise.” Dean stepped back and pulled his shirt off. “John and I have the man secured downstairs.”

“Okay,” Sam said shakily. He took a few deep breaths and reached out to ghost his fingers down Dean’s side. “You’ll make sure I know what to do? And we’ll be alone?” Sam’s eyes darted over to the closed door then back to Dean’s face.

“The only time Bobby will be there is for the incantation while I take the herbs. Everything else will just be me and you, I promise.” Dean stepped close once more and gathered Sam close, kissing him softly. “I’ll guide you every step of the way.”

Nodding again, Sam ducked down and caught Dean’s mouth in a lingering kiss. As he pulled away he laughed nervously. “Okay.”

“You ready?” Dean gently massaged his hands down Sam’s back, walking them backwards toward the bed.

“Yeah, I”m ready.” Sam’s heart felt like it was going to fly right out of his chest and his fingers were tight on Dean’s shoulders.

“I love you,” Dean breathed before he sank down, lips parting over Sam’s neck and teeth instantly sinking forward. Blood instantly spilled over his tongue but whereas Dean would usually pull his teeth free and drink from the wounds, Dean kept them buried this time. He shifted so the wound grew, the blood pouring faster from the man.

Moaning softly, Dean pulled in deep mouthfuls of the man’s life giving substance. He knew what had to be done, knew how much to drink, and even though he’d fed the night before in preparation for what Sam would have to drink on two occasions tonight, Dean was eager for every ounce.

Dean's name was a slight whisper on Sam's lips and he tried to keep his arms up, wrapped tightly around his lover's neck. Dean's mouth was soft, after the initial prick of pain, Sam only felt the dizzying pull. Deep inside he knew what was happening but he couldn't seem to catch hold of his fear. Pleasure wove its way through his system so quickly he felt drunk.

Sam’s knees buckled and his arms fell back. He felt like he was floating, lying there draped over Dean’s arm. He murmured the vampire’s name again, his breathing becoming harsher.

Once he knew he had Sam in the place of pleasure, his arms the only reason Sam was still standing, Dean moved them down onto the bed. He slipped his fangs free and licked along the wound, gently laying Sam on the mattress.

His lips slid along the man’s collarbone, leg slipping over to straddle the man, kissing further and further down. He bit just above Sam’s nipple, riding out the arch of his body, and then slid further down once more. Dean hadn’t ever given thought to piercing someone with his fang but it was kind of hot.

He sucked at Sam’s nipple until it peaked, rolling the plastic bag under his fingers and slowly bringing it up. On Sam’s next inhale Dean sank one fang through the silky smooth flesh, tongue flicking out to make sure the point was free before he drew back and quickly brought the bar bell up, undoing one end and slipping it through. His eyes snapped up to Sam, brows drawing together in concern. “You okay?”

Sam's thoughts were still soaking up the way it had felt while Dean was sucking on his nipple. His body was twisting slowly - he was sure he'd felt a sharp sting of pain but then it was Dean's tongue again and that soothing voice. Sam hummed softly and his hand crept down his chest. His brow furrowed at the feel of warm metal and he blinked lazily at Dean before smiling and closing his eyes.

“Figures you’d be so kinky,” Dean muttered with a soft laugh as he crawled back up Sam’s body. He dipped down so his lips spread over Sam’s neck once more and sank back into tight skin. It was going to get more challenging from here on out, as he felt Sam’s life ebb from him, and Dean pressed his weight down against the man because he knew it was only a matter of time until the man might start to try and push him away.

Sam’s hand found its way into Dean’s hair and he tugged slightly. “Dean?” It was hard to keep his eyes open and each lung full of air was a little harder for him to pull past his lips. “Dean,” he said more urgently.

Head spinning, mind hardly able to lock on to the reasons behind Dean’s behavior Sam could feel the tight press of panic against his chest and he pushed at Dean’s shoulder. “Dean...too much.”

John had warned him about this, Dean knew what would happen and that he couldn’t stop - especially not now - but it actually felt painful. Sam sounded _scared_ , growing panicked, and Dean tried to gently stroke through his hair. He was close now; just a little bit more and he’d be bringing Sam back from this - only to send him through something possibly more painful than death. Dean hummed gently against Sam and continued to pull.

Sam couldn't keep his eyes open a moment longer and he wasn't sure but he thought he could hear someone wheezing. His lungs ached, his heart fluttered and all he could think of what the man lying over him. "Dean," he whispered. His fingers untangled from Dean's hair and his hands fell back to the bed and Sam had enough grasp left on life to hope that Dean knew how much he loved him.

Pulling back with a shaky gasp Dean rolled quickly to the side and sat up, dragging Sam across his lap. He lifted his wrist and bit down hard, blood instantly gushing forth. Dean pressed his wrist to Sam’s mouth, tilting the man’s head back to rest on his arm. “Come on Sam, drink up for me.” He encouraged softly, dragging Sam’s mouth open with a thumb pressing along his jaw.

Sam’s body was limp against his, his heart so weak Dean could barely make out the soft flutter. The tight band around Dean’s chest intensified, nearly strangling him. “C’mon Sammy, c’mon, drink.” Dean urged desperately, pressing his wrist hard against Sam’s mouth. His eyes lifted to the door, considering calling for Bobby as the panic grew cold and spiraling through him. _Sam should be drinking by now._

Dean's voice was like a beacon. Sam was sure he could see the sound of it; feel the way it called to him. A familiar voice - his name. _Drink_. He could feel something wet and cool against his lips and slid his tongue forward. _Blood_. It was sweet and coppery - thick and Sam could almost _feel_ Dean in the taste of it.

The first tentative pull at his wrist had Dean gasping, arm clutching tight to Sam. “Oh thank god.” He’d never been more thankful to feel a soft touch and he settled back against the headboard, stroking his free hand up through Sam’s hair. “Good Sam, keep drinking,” he voice was a quiet whisper, soothing and soft, meant just for his lover.

Sam's mouth opened wider and he sucked gently at Dean's arm. His tongue moved over the wound, dragging through the slick blood and drawing it back into his mouth. _Dean_. He could hear his lover speaking to him but it seemed like miles were between them. Sam lifted a hand and curled his fingers over Dean's arm; holding on and pulling the arm closer. _More blood._

The blood slipped down Sam's throat, somehow warming and cooling him at the same time. He shuddered with pleasure and lifted his other hand to grip Dean's wrist. As he worked at the wound, tonguing it and lapping up the blood he became more and more aware of Dean right there - his low voice encouraging Sam to drink, to come back to him.

It had been a very long time since someone last drank from him and Dean wasn’t sure he could truly remember how it had felt back then. This though was entirely different, the feel of Sam drinking from him made his skin tingle and pull and Dean squirmed, tongue sliding over his lips as he allowed Sam to pull closer and drink his fill.

When Sam took enough and Dean knew there was no putting it off he pulled his hand free, lifting his wrist to lave over the cut. Dean waited a moment then gathered Sam close, gently kissing his temple and stroking a hand down his arm. This was the part he was least looking forward too.

Blinking a few times to try and clear his vision Sam stared up at Dean and tried to reach up for him. As soon as his hand was near Dean's chest something tore through his chest. IT was like being stabbed by an ice cold knife and he cried out. His body jerked forward and his nails dragged down Dean's chest. "De-an," he hissed.

Dean flinched and ran his hands down along Sam’s arms, back through his hair. “Shh, it’s okay Sam, you can get through this,” he whispered soothingly and drew Sam in close, holding against the jerking and twisting, scattering kisses along his cheeks. “I love you Sam, you’re strong enough for this,” he breathed, knowing that this would be the worst if Sam could just hold on through it.

Sam's breath felt like broken glass as he tried to keep breathing; his heart was aching, burning in his chest. Looking up at Dean, Sam held up a shaking hand to the vampire's cheek. "Dean, please.-"

He cried out again and his body was jarred by pain. Curling in toward Dean's body, Sam moaned and clutched at Dean anywhere he could get a grip.

It hurt to know Sam was in pain and Dean couldn’t comfort him, couldn’t make it stop. All he could do was hold Sam close, murmuring soft, comforting words as he continued to stroke slowly over the man’s skin. He could hear the stutter stop of Sam’s heart, his stomach lurching when the beating ceased to sound human. When blood coursed through vampire veins it was so much slower, almost deeper, and Dean thought Sam would be through it soon.

Things leveled out slowly; the pain and ache of Sam's death worked its way through him slowly. Then something new sprang to life deep inside him. It was a burning hunger; harsh and gnawing and Sam's eyes opened slowly. He stared up at Dean with new vision; seeing, maybe for the very first time, just how beautiful Dean was. "Dean," he said again quietly.

Dean smiled softly. He could tell the pain was over. Hell, he could feel Sam on a completely different level. It was intense, the way Sam seemed feel like a part of him. “Jesus,” he whispered, pulling the vampire up to kiss him deeply. It sparked, the crash of their lips, and Dean moaned as he clawed at his mate’s skin.

Sam's entire body felt like it was on fire. Dean was everywhere, assailing all of Sam's sense and he felt like he could drown in his lover's presence. Moaning, Sam pulled himself up, arms wrapped around Dean's neck. His mouth tingled and he sucked at Dean's mouth, teeth lengthening as the hunger grew within him. "Dean,” he whispered against the man's mouth. "Yours now."

Their lips moved together and Dean groaned as Sam’s teeth snagged over his bottom lip, blood spilling out into the kiss. He couldn’t even think of words big enough to describe how this felt, how _Sam_ felt.

“Sam,” he gasped as he pulled back from the kiss, touching their foreheads together. He knew he had enough blood that Sam could drink now and there would be enough for the ritual later but Dean thought if Sam drank from him he’d lose all control and take his mate. “Gotta get the herbs, so you can drink from me.”

“Don’t go,” Sam said quickly. He held onto Dean, body shaking with its new found strength. “I want you, stay,” Sam’s fingers extended and he curled them into a fist then licked at the faint taste of blood on his lips.

“Sam, come with me. There’s so much I want to show you,” Dean whispered, worried anything louder would be too much on Sam’s sensitive ears. “The moon, the smell of the night air. Besides, the sooner I take the herbs, the sooner you can fuck me. Don’t you want that?” Dean felt so _happy_ it was almost scary, like his entire body was glowing.

Tilting his head slightly, Sam smiled and flicked his tongue over the sharp points of his teeth. It was almost as though here were too many thoughts in his mind, too much to process and he ducked his head down to lap at the sweet, lingering taste of Dean's bloodied lip. "Love you," he murmured.

“Love you too,” Dean breathed back, kissing Sam for a moment more before gently pushing him back and rising. He pulled Sam to his feet, grabbing one of his silk black shirts from the footboard. He dressed Sam, his shirt barely big enough to stretch across the man’s chest and _oh well_ , Bobby could deal with it. “God you are fuckin’ gorgeous,” Dean ran his fingertips appreciatively along Sam’s strong jaw line.

“You’re beautiful,” Sam said. His voice was deep and felt too loud. He winced and stepped closer to Dean, head tilted again, eyes locked on the other man’s. “You’re mine,” he murmured. His hands moved down over Dean’s chest and his eyes followed, drinking up each curve and line of flesh.

“All yours,” Dean agreed and leaned into Sam’s touches. It felt like the man had sparks coming from his finger tips and Dean laughed softly. “God, this makes no sense. How does it feel so good? It’s like... just you touching me makes me feel like your lips are burning on my skin.”

“Because it’s in my thoughts.” Sam’s hand slid down over Dean’s jeans, down his thigh and gripped tightly. The muscle tightened under his palm and Sam moaned softly. The hunger tapped at his soul again and Sam felt his teeth lengthen. “Dean...” So many things around him and all he wanted was the man in front of him.

“I know Sam, I know. Just, hold on okay? Just a few minutes?” Dean moaned softly and forced himself back, tugging Sam across the room. Screw wearing a shirt, Bobby would get the hell over it.

Pulling his new mate down the steps, Dean rounded the corner, grinning at Bobby. “Do you have the herbs?”

“Holy crap I forgot what you looked like new,” Bobby muttered, eyes wide as he stared at Sam. “You just got a whole lot more intimidating.”

Sam frowned and raised his hand to his forehead. Bobby's heartbeat was like a drum in Sam's head, and the scent of the man's blood was strong. Shaking his head slightly, Sam stumbled back a step. "Bobby," he said softly. "I ... I'm different." Sam smiled slightly and leaned against the door frame wearily.

“Yeah Sam, I know.” Bobby nodded, soft smile on his lips.

Dean appreciated the things Bobby being here meant. That the man trusted him, trusted Sam even, who - as a new vampire - would be most tempted by his blood. “Bobby, are you ready for the spell?”

“Yeah, believe I am. Sam, how you feelin’? This’ll only take a couple minutes but if you’d like to step outside for some fresh air.” Bobby gestured toward the door, that smile still warm on his lips as if he was only happy for Dean.

“No,” Sam said quickly. There was no way he was leaving Dean’s side; he could feel the way being near Dean filled up something inside him. “I”ll stay. I won’t … I won’t do anything.” He looked around the kitchen as he moved back to press up against Dean’s back. As his hands slid around Dean’s middle, his eyes travelled over the bright colors of the book spines, he squinted at the bright light over the kitchen table and his gaze focused in on a small insect buzzing in the heat of the light bulb.

Dean smiled softly and threaded his fingers through Sam’s before reaching out. “Let’s do this.”

The cup that Bobby handed him was filled to the brim with herbs, swirling slowly in something that looked too thick to be water. Dean sniffed at the light green mixture then flinched, looking back up. “Blood? Really?”

“Had half a bag of o-neg in my fridge, figured it’d be a bit better than water?” Bobby shrugged than smirked, jerking his chin toward Dean. “Bottom’s up once I start reading okay?”

It truly was horrible. Dean shuddered at the first swallow, his hand tightening on Sam’s as he forced the liquid down. Overall, the spell wasn’t that long, but Dean felt every word as the herbs moved through him. He hadn’t known what to expect but almost instantly his vision blurred and he swayed back into the cool comfort of Sam.

Bobby’s voice was somewhere off in the distance by the time Dean had finished. He stared down at the cup, swaying slowly back and forth, everything around him spinning. “Whoa,” he whispered, clutching to Sam because he felt like he might just float off the ground.

“Dean?” Sam turned Dean into his chest and held him up. “Bobby? Is this supposed to happen?” He smoothed Dean’s hair back off his forehead and smiled at him, trying to hide the fear he felt.

“The ritual mentions him being slightly drugged,” Bobby murmured and closed his book. “He’s supposed to be helpless, completely under your watch. It’s his way of giving you every part of him. Or well, part of his way.”

Dean chuckled, the noise growing into a slightly hysterical laugh. “Gonna claim me,” he mumbled and pressed his lips to Sam’s collarbone. His mate felt amazing, hard muscle and smooth skin. “Sammy, Sam. Hey. I love you.”

“Mmm, I love you too.” Sam smiled and nuzzled into Dean’s hair. “You’re all mine,” he murmured. Dean was pressed up against Sam, his body loose and heavy in Sam’s embrace. Sam peered over Dean’s head and blinked at Bobby. “I should..I …”

Sam moaned softly and pulled Dean away from Bobby; his teeth lengthened again and he groaned as he walked them backwards.

“Yeah I’ll just be going,” Bobby called out, the sound of the screen door creaking open a moment later.

“Want you to feed from me,” Dean murmured, not sure if the words came out as clear as he was intending them too. Sam was nearly carrying him up the stairs and Dean grabbed his shoulders, pushing himself up and almost scaling his mate. “You wanna? First time feedin’ from me, kinda perfect.”

“Yeah Dean, s’perfect,” Sam muttered. Sam’s hands slid under Dean’s thighs and he held his mate up, Dean was wound around Sam like a vine and Sam’s lips moved along the vampire’s neck, his tongue rasping along the sharp points of his teeth.

Lifting Dean completely off the stairs, Sam carried him the rest of the way up to the second floor. “I can hear him,” he whispered against Dean’s throat. “I can hear his heart beating.” The man that they’d brought into the house earlier, the man that Sam would feed to his mate after drinking from him.

Sam’s knees nearly buckled at the thought and his shoulder crashed into the door frame of John and Mary’s room. The man was still unconscious, lying on the bed and Sam paused there, letting Dean slide down his body.

“Gotta resist him though,” Dean whispered, leaning heavily against Sam. “Take me Sam, drink me. I’ll taste better anyway.” Dean laughed, not quite sure that was true but it seemed good enough. And well, everything was still spinning even as he stepped back and stumbled across the room, dropping onto the foot of the bed. His head tilted back, exposing his neck, and his eyes closed. “Sam.”

"Jesus," Sam whispered. He moved so quickly he swayed when he stopped. One moment he'd just _thought_ about touching Dean and then he simply _was_. His hand curled around the back of Dean's neck and Sam sank down slowly to his knees. A smiled curled his lips and he leaned in to press them to the corner of Dean's lips. "All mine."

Mouthing his way down Dean's neck, Sam shivered with anticipation. His fangs were throbbing and he could taste his own blood where they had torn through his gums the first time. Moaning low and long, Sam sucked at the cool flesh of Dean's throat, hesitant even as the hunger and desire grew within him.

Moaning at the cool wet of Sam’s lips on him, Dean curled his fingers into the man’s hair, slowly curling so his nails drug over the man’s scalp. “Sam,” Dean moaned and spread his legs wider, drawing Sam flush into him. “Do it, it’s okay. You can’t hurt me.” It was almost even better that Sam practice on him, just to make sure he did it right with someone else in the future.

Shaking with the effort of holding back, Sam drew back to look into Dean's eyes. "I love you," he said softly. He fell forward, wide open mouth latching onto Dean's neck. His teeth pressed hard against the flesh and then he felt the flesh _give_. Instinctively, his tongue moved forward and then a pulse of blood filled his mouth. Sam's entire body trembled. He gasped and felt the blood trickle down his chin and neck until he latched onto Dean's flesh once more. Sucking slowly, Sam swallowed and felt as though he was swallowing fire. Every mouthful of sweet blood that slid down his throat made his body thrum with energy and strength.

Dean’s arm slowly lifted to wrap around Sam’s neck, hand pressing flat against the vampire’s skull to keep him there against his neck. The spiraling heat and pleasure was maddening, Sam gradually shifted from tentative, slow sucks to something harder, sharper, and Dean gasped as his body responded to the touch. “Sam,” he moaned, fingers gliding through his lover’s hair. “God, so good.”

Sam’s head was spinning again but this time, it was because drinking Dean's blood - his _mate's blood_ \- was flooding him with desire, pleasure and a thousand other feelings he couldn't begin to name. His hand dragged down Dean's bare chest, stopping at the button on his jeans. A deft flick of his fingers and button was open and Sam pressed forward. Without breaking the seal of his mouth over Dean's wound, Sam crawled onto the bed and pulled Dean up higher so he could lie beside him.

The blood was pumping into Sam’s mouth and his hand pushed under his mate’s jeans, fingers curling tight around Dean’s hardening flesh.

“Oh fuck,” Dean growled, his hips thrusting up into Sam’s hand. The more blood Sam drank the clearer Dean’s mind became, only to feel the slight haze of lust as it heightened in him. “S-sam, you gotta,” Dean groaned, his legs spreading to grant Sam even more room to move. He knew they needed to time this right, Sam had to almost drain him, feed him, then fuck him and if they did this now, well Dean wouldn’t last.

Biting harder at Dean's neck, Sam growled possessively. Swallowing the blood was making him feel drunk; all he could smell and feel was Dean. _His mate_. His fingers stroked Dean's cock as he drew up mouthful after mouthful of viscous sweetness. The inside of his mouth was coated and he moaned and pulled back as Dean started to weaken in his arms. Staring down at his mate, Sam wiped at the blood trickling from his mouth.

Dean couldn’t remember ever feeling this light headed, this weak. He couldn’t even lift his arm and when Sam moved a little it slid off his shoulders and fell to the bed, hand smacking against the man he’d kind of forgotten was there. Dean’s mouth opened and closed a few times, his eyes lingering on Sam. “Sam,” he whispered, eyes fluttering closed and staying that way since it was just easier.

Sam pulled his hand free from his mate’s jeans and reached out to curl long fingers around the unconscious man’s arm. Licking his lips he leaned across Dean’s chest and pulled the man’s arm up to his lips. The blood in the man’s veins made a shushing sound as his strong heart moved it through his body. Baring his teeth Sam bit down on the pale skin at the underside of the man’s wrist.

The blood that he tasted was different, warmer and richer somehow and Sam pulled back. Slipping an arm under Dean’s neck he lifted his mate and pressed the bleeding wrist to his mate’s mouth. “Drink,” he whispered.

Dean hummed for a moment before sucking at the wound, letting the familiar rushing heat of coppery blood gush over his tongue. As he drank his strength slowly returned and he brought his hand up to wrap over Sam’s covering the man’s wrist.

A few more deep swallows and he pulled back, tongue laving over the wound. He’d have to feed again tomorrow but he didn’t want to damage the man. Then his eyes slowly turned and fixed on Sam, lip gliding over the blood there. “Sam,” he whispered, nearly vibrating with what he knew would come next.

Sam shoved the man’s wrist back off Dean’s body. He didn’t even want Dean touching anyone else. Yanking on Dean’s hand he pulled his mate up. “Not here,” he murmured.

As soon as Dean stood, Sam’s mouth was on his. The lingering taste of blood on Dean’s lips made their kiss sticky and coppery and Sam’s tongue slid forward eagerly. One hand slid down to squeeze Dean’s ass, the other tight in Dean’s hair and he half dragged his mate toward the door.

Dean hadn’t thought too much about Sam being in control, always being the vampire and the strong one. Now though, Sam was on equal ground and Dean was going to willingly give himself over to his mate. It sent a heat slamming so sharp through him that Dean didn’t have a problem admitting too. He pressed hard up against his lover’s body, shoving his hand under the man’s open shirt, thumb brushing over the still new bar bell.

Sam growled and they stumbled across the hall. The room spun around Sam and he huffed, frustrated and elated all at the same time. His hands were everywhere on Dean's body, shoving roughly at his mate's jeans until they were falling from his hips.

By the time they were bumping into the bed they were both bare and Dean felt like every inch of him was sparking and flaring in the absolute best way. It was Sam doing this to him, Sam his mate that was driving him crazy. “Sam, god,” he gasped into the kiss, pulling back and licking at the blood on his lips. “I need you.”

Sam's body stilled and his hand trailed down Dean’s shoulder, along the curve of his muscular arm. He caught Dean's dark nipple between his fingers, twisting the hard peak of flesh and gasping at the way Dean's feelings resonated through his own body. "I feel..." Sam's voice faded away as his fingers ran over rippling muscles then the jut of hipbone and finally Dean's thigh.

“I know,” Dean whispered, because he really did. He got how the things Sam was feeling were impossible to put words too. It was exactly how he felt. “Please,” he found himself begging and they’d hardly touched at all yet. He was done for, to say the least. His body arched into Sam’s, fingers sliding through Sam’s hair.

Sam leaned in and kissed Dean's full lips and then mouthed his way along his mate's high cheek bone and moaned. Sliding against Dean's body, Sam moved around to the man's side, stopped to bite hard on his earlobe before tracing every curl of velvety flesh with the tip of his tongue. He moved again, rubbing against Dean's body as he slid around behind him.

A moan passed from Sam's lips into Dean's hair where he had buried his face. His hard shaft was cradled along the crack of Dean's ass, his hands curled over Dean's hips, and he bit down on the back of his mate's neck.

Eyes fluttering closed, Dean found himself writhing shamelessly back against Sam’s cock, loving the slip slide of hard skin over his own. Dean’s head tipped back toward Sam, his ass rolling as much as he could manage against the man’s strong grip. “Fuck you’re amazing,” he gasped and reached behind him, hand smacking hard down over Sam’s ass, anything to spur on the touches.

Laughing softly Sam slid both hands forward and down so he could bring them together around Dean's swollen cock. He licked at the bite marks on Dean's neck and moaned softly then tugged Dean down with him onto the bed.

He couldn't stop touching his mate. Everywhere Sam's hands moved it was like he was discovering something new; learning some wonderful secret about Dean's body. He could hear every noise Dean made like it was whispered right against his ear; each moan, each slid of palm over velvet flesh. The scent of them wrapped around Sam's mind and soul and he felt a little crazy with lust.

"Need to see you," he said softly. Sitting up, Sam leaned back against the headboard and pulled on Dean's arm until the man slid across his lap. "Your face is beautiful, your eyes...the green-" a moan stopped his words and he frowned over his smile.

Dean bit down on his lip and stared up at Sam, arching up into his mate and shifting across his thighs. Their skin seemed to burn together, smooth and slick and Dean nearly jolted as their cocks brushed together. “Jesus, Sam. You- you’re so much-” Dean laughed shakily and surged forward once more.

Their lips crushed together, Sam’s mouth opening against his and Dean wasted no time in mapping out each curve and line of his mate’s mouth. The coppery tinge of blood still lingered there and Dean chased after it, rocking his body forward against Sam’s. He kept having mind spinning moments, when he thought about having this forever, _Sam forever._ “God,” he gasped as he pulled back, “I feel like I’m going insane.”

Sam simply groaned and wrapped one arm tight around Dean's waist. Staring straight into Dean's eyes, Sam lifted two fingers and ran them along Dean's bottom lip. "Make them wet," he ordered. His skin came alive with goose bumps as Dean moaned and flicked out his tongue.

Dean’s body lurched, knowing what was coming next, and he slowly sucked down both fingers, tongue spiraling around them in constant swipes. His hands moved over Sam’s chest, along his arms, body squirming on Sam’s thighs. Dean laved spit over the fingers, pulling back and leaving them dripping as he blinked some of the lust haze in his eyes.

Sam's hand slipped down between them and he pulled Dean up to his knees as his fingers pressed against his mate's entrance. "Mine," he murmured. "Say it, Dean, tell me."

“Yours. Jesus Christ.” Dean groaned, trying not to thrust his hips back against Sam’s teasing fingers. He swayed toward the man, swallowing thickly. “Completely yours Sam. Forever.”

Sam trembled and pulled Dean closer as he thrust two fingers deep inside his lover. Dean's body lurched forward and Sam caught the moan on his lover's lips with his own mouth, claiming every inch of it with his tongue. His nails dug hard into the flesh of Dean's hip and he closed his eyes against the overwhelming swell of emotion.

There was the slightest burn from Sam’s fingers stretching him but Dean had truthfully always liked a little pain so he rocked greedily down back to him, sucking on Sam’s tongue hard. His muscles clenched around Sam’s fingers, holding him then swaying back down onto him. “More,” he growled into the kiss, eager to feel Sam buried deep up in him.

"Fuck," Sam wheezed. Dragging his hands back his grasped Dean firmly by the hips and lifted him slowly. His new found strength startled him and his eyes widened before he let out a small moan. His cock was aching, swollen and full, heavy and he _wanted_ Dean beyond anything he'd ever experienced.

The head of Sam's cock pressed against the puckered flesh of Dean's entrance and they both moaned. Then Sam gave in to the desire swirling within him and pressed Dean’s body down as he thrust his hips up.

“Fuck.” Dean spat and dropped his forehead against Sam’s, nails digging into the man’s shoulders as he slowly sank down onto his lover. His muscles clenched in waves, Sam an inch in, they tightened around him, another inch and another wave of tightness. “Sam,” he gasped as his mouth bumped against his lover’s once more.

Than all at once he relaxed his body and pushed his body down. He was seated on Sam’s thighs, the burn, stretch, his lover completely filling him and Dean hadn’t thought it could feel so amazing. “Oh, god,” he murmured against Sam’s lips, almost afraid to move in case he just exploded from the sensation over load.

Sam might have whispered Dean's name over and over, he could tell any longer what he was thinking and what he was saying. His hands soothed Dean's body, moving over his skin lightly even as Dean clung to him. "It's..it's perfect," Sam managed to get out. His voice broke and he wrapped his arms tight around Dean's neck, cradling him against his body.

For a long while Dean just lay there, until he no longer felt like his mind was spinning out of his control and his body was two steps from the edge. Then he pushed back, straightening up and taking Sam deeper within him. His fingers moved over Sam’s jaw, tongue dragged over his lips, and he pushed up on his knees, letting Sam fall almost completely from him then lowering himself slow, almost to the point of _perfect_ pain.

Sam's body took over as his lust grew beyond his control. He could feel how hard Dean was, feel the squeeze and pressure of his lover's ass and he held on to Dean's thighs and snapped his hips up off the bed. Deeper, he pushed into his mate, their bodies sliding together then falling away; mouths moving together slick and cool in unending motion.

It was amazing for Dean not having to worry about breath, or if he was hurting his mate. He moaned greedily into the kiss, moving to meet each of the thrusts of Sam’s body, muscles tightening all over again. Each hard thrust sent Sam impossibly deeper up into him and Dean pulled back from the kiss just so he could arch his back and take Sam in further, each quick thrust closer and closer to that sweet spot deep within him.

Sam followed the curve of Dean's body, his mouth finding the sensitive hollow at the base of Dean's neck. Sam's teeth nicked the skin and he tasted his mate's blood once more; the smooth coolness of it painting his lips. His hips jolted up, cock thrusting deeper as he held Dean's arched body with a hand at the small of his back. He dragged his teeth down the flesh stretched out in front of him until he could catch a hard nipple between them and bite down hard enough to reward himself with another taste of Dean's blood.

Hissing out a breath Dean was torn between pushing up into Sam’s questing lips and teeth and back down to the following hard thrusts. His mate was making him feel out of control and Dean didn’t care because he knew Sam was there, knew Sam would keep him grounded through all of this. “Oh god Sam,” he groaned and tightened his muscles around his lover’s cock once more. “So-so close, _fuck_.” Another sharp nick along his throat and Dean wanted Sam to mark him for the rest of the night so there would be no question in anyone’s eyes to whom he belonged.

Sam couldn't wait any longer. His fingers curled around Dean's cock and stroked up, squeezed and slid back down and he pulled the man back up against him so their lips could meet in a rough kiss. It was all teeth and too hard and Sam didn't care. Biting down, Sam thrust hard up into Dean's ass, feeling his mate shivering and trembling above him. "Dean," he whispered against the man's mouth. "I can't stop."

One more thrust and Sam's entire body felt like it was on fire. His orgasm uncoiled and sprang to life within his body sending wave after crushing wave of pleasure through him.

Dean had just a moment to wonder what Sam couldn’t stop doing and then he was being filled by his mate’s release and his entire body lurched. His own orgasm tore through him with blinding intensity, pulling a hard shudder through his body and his shoulders shook. Sam’s fingers continued to stroke him through the touch and Dean moaned his lover’s name long and low in the back of his throat.

He slumped in a heap against Sam’s come covered chest, sucking in the sweat damp scent of the vampire. “Fucking incredible,” he breathed out the words, an aftershock of pleasure making his body twitch.

Sam turned into Dean's hair, breathing in their mingled scent. His body was still twitching as he relaxed, feeling a little like he was floating back down to earth. "It was," Sam murmured. Instinct had Sam rooting at Dean's neck, his teeth sinking slowly into the smooth skin. As the last of his pleasure drained from his body, Sam's tongue laved gently at his mate's blood.

“Still hungry Sam?” Dean asked quietly, his hand lifting to stroke slowly through Sam’s hair even as his head tilted further to the side. “Left plenty in the man, taking it straight from the source will help with the hunger.”

Sam pulled back from Dean's flesh and licked at his wound gently as Dean had always done. When he looked up he shook his head and smiled slightly. "Just wanted you," he said quietly.

“Certainly not complaining about that,” Dean murmured and gently kissed him once. “God I am so glad you’re mine,” he half whispered, half gasped into the kiss, his muscles fleetingly squeezing around Sam.

"I understand now," Sam said. His fingers slid up along Dean's neck until he could cup his mate's cheek. "I can feel you, us, everything and-" Sam's voice caught and he closed his eyes for a moment. "It would have been such a terrible mistake not to-" He simply stared at Dean, thumb sweeping over the vampire's ivory skin.

“Shh, we don’t have to think about it anymore.” Dean exhaled in relief and grinned at his lover. “Point is, you have me and I have you and we’re going to be amazing together.” Dean laughed then groaned as he pulled himself up off Sam and sank onto his lap once more. “Let’s go away for a while. You and me, just a week or two, I- I never go away anywhere.”

Sam smiled and stroked Dean’s hair. “Just us? What about everyone else?”

“They can handle a week or two without us. We wouldn’t go out of the country, so we could be back fast if they needed it.” Dean nuzzled into Sam’s neck, smile growing on his lips. “Don’t you want me as yours alone for a week or two?”

"Yes," Sam said. Moving quickly he lunged forward and rolled them until he was lying across Dean and gazing down at him. "yes."

Dean grinned up at his mate and slid hands back through his hair. “Good. Fuck, that’ll be amazing. Soon. Doesn’t matter exactly where we go either, long as there’s somewhere we can feed and a motel room with a good bed frame.”

Sam laughed and lowered himself down for a kiss. He lingered there, lips brushing his mates slowly and gently then pulled back slowly. "Thank you."

“No reason to thank me,” Dean whispered into the kiss as he leaned up then dropped back down. “This... Sam. Do you realize the full extent of the ceremony we just performed?” He had to know, had to make sure Sam understood how much he _owed_ him.

"I get to have you as mine for the rest of forever." Sam smiled and blinked a few times as he settled against Dean's side.

Dean laughed softly, “well yes, that’s what it boils down too. But just... the actual ceremony.” Dean pressed against Sam’s body, eyes drifting up to lock with Sam’s. “You took the worst parts of me. You evened out my soul, calmed me. God Sam, you fuckin’ saved my life. I think you and I might actually be more bound together than normal vampire pairings ever have the chance of being.”

"You're fine now?" Sam's smiled brightened and he shifted closer. He already knew there would never be close enough. " _And_ I get to keep you forever?"

“You’re one lucky little bitch,” Dean grunted then laughed, throwing his arms around Sam to pull him close. “Looks like you don’t take away all my sappy moments, keep tryin’, you’ll get there.”

“John won’t know what to do with you,” Sam said softly as he laughed. But his heart felt light, and he was surprisingly calm considering all that was laid out before him.

“Just means he’s gonna want to bond and shit again.” Dean smirked, knowing he actually didn’t mind that too much. “He missed me apparently. Or so I’ve been told.”

“He’s very fond of you.” Sam felt a surprising burst of jealously and possessiveness as he said the words he’d already known and he frowned, rubbing at his forehead. “Wow,” he muttered.

“The jealousy thing?” Dean had caught a wave of that emotion from his mate and he pressed closer. “You’ll get adjusted. After John made Mary I couldn’t get near him for almost ten years without her freaking a bit. She’s better now.”

Sam laughed. “She’s crazy,” he whispered. “That first night when she came up to see me, I thought she was going to eat me or something.” His hand ran down Dean’s chest and settled low on his belly.

“Oh she knew that I would kill her if she harmed you,” Dean said flatly then laughed, shaking his head. “We’re all crazy. Overly emotional, over hyped, totally insane vampires.” Dean lifted his head and met Sam’s eyes, a slow grin tugging at his lips. “And now you’re one of us.”

“I am,” Sam said slowly. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he’d made the right choice.

“Lucky me,” Dean murmured then shifting up to capture Sam’s lips against his own. Just about two hundred years ago he’d been made a vampire and now, he could finally say he was okay with that. That fact alone made Dean smile into the kiss. Things would be pretty damn good now.


End file.
